right now, i am 13, my brother is 18 (mike), and my other brother is 20 (matt). 2 years ago and before that, matt and mike got along great and hung out sometimes, and i was rarely ever included. but, 2 years ago, matt went away to college at westpoint. he only came home on some weekends and most holidays. mike was in high school at the time and i was in 5 grade. i never thought i would miss him so much. it made me think about how much i loved my brothers, so me and mike started talking and bonding more. when matt came home for a few days at a time, me him mike and matt's girlfriend were always together, cheriching the last few years we have as the "children". now, two years later, matt dropped out of westpoint and me and my brothers only kept some of the bonding we had. how do we get that FULL bonding we had back? please answer!
2007-07-21 05:49:04 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You know that 'circle' of love' you hear about? It's more of a spiral of love.
You will always love your brothers, and they will always love you, but sometimes you are in different stages in your life when you don't have as much in common. This is not bad, or good; it's just a fact.
You will all cycle back togrther again, especially in times of great joy [ graduation, wedding, birth of a child ] or sadness
[ hopefully not many of those ].
My siblings and I are now 43 to 51 years old, and still call on each other in times of crisis, or celebration. Since there are 14 grandkids, and 2 and 1/2 greats, that's about once a week!
Why not plan a family day - amusement park, golfing, canoeing, bowling, etc. - anything without electronics, so you can talk. Try for one a month.
Good luck!
2007-07-21 06:25:21 · answer #1 · answered by Nurse Susan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of it comes from going through life together.
What you want to make sure of is that you all do reasonably well in life, nobody has to be a rock-star millionaire, but help each other with school, encourage each other to finish and get your basic college degree's. This is the most important thing in the future for you all, practically, as it can help you from being significantly more poor than if you just have high-school under your belt.
Second thing, make sure you keep holidays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, whatever, it doesn't need to be formal or fancy but it should be spent together as much as possible.
Third thing, accept one another for who you are.
2007-07-21 12:57:54 · answer #2 · answered by Mark T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has to come from all sides..it can't just be you trying to hold on to the bond while your brothers are growing up. Sometimes when you grow up you tend to also grow apart..they are significantly older than you and may have other priorities and responsibilities in their lives that you don't have because you are not an adult. It doesn't mean they don't love you as much as before, it just may mean that they are spending more time becoming adults with more responsibilities. Besides, its easier to get along with people when you don't see them everyday...makes you want to spend more time with them..Hope this helps ;0)
2007-07-21 16:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by amasmomma05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force the bonding. Your older brother is probably having a hard time with things since dropping out of West Point. You are all growing up and unfortunatley, sometimes you grow apart. If you want to try to get someof it back, keep talking to them and be there if they need you.
2007-07-21 12:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by harleychic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bro is going through a rough period in his life, and you can't fix that.
Maybe catch him in a real happy mood.
2007-07-22 06:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by Voltaire's book Candide 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋