Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has commanded us to honour our parents and treat them kindly in word and deed, and he has forbidden us to offend them in word and deed, even in the slightest manner.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.
24. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’”
[al-Isra’ 17:23-24]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised us not to get angry, i.e., to avoid the causes that lead to that and to be careful of what may result from that.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Advise me.” He said: “Do not get angry.” He repeated his question several times and he said: “Do not get angry.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5765.
The Muslim should be above getting angry for his own sake or for the sake of anyone other than Allaah, because that may lead to regrettable consequences either in this world or in the Hereafter, or in both.
Ibn Muflih al-Hanbali said:
‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: It may be known whether a person is really patient at the time of anger. And he used to say that the beginning of anger is madness and the end of it is regret, and anger cannot be justified by offering a humble apology. Calamities may come because of anger. It was said to al-Shu’bi: Why is a person who is quick to get angry also quick to calm down, and the one who is slow to get angry is slow to clam down. He said: Because anger is like fire; that which is easier to start is easier to extinguish.
Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah, 1/183
If something happens to a Muslim that makes him angry, he should remember the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Do not get angry,” as if the hadeeth applies directly to him. And he should remember that Allaah has commanded him to treat his parents well and has forbidden him to offend them, as if he has heard that from Him directly.
There are means of soothing anger if it arises, which will enable the one who does them to cure himself of anger and its effects. Al-Maawirdi mentioned a good number of them when he said:
“Remember that there are means of soothing anger if it arises, which a person may use to help himself become patient. These include:
1 – Remembering Allaah, which should make him fear Him; this fear will motivate him to obey Him, so he will resume his good manners, at which point his anger will fade.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And remember your Lord when you forget”
[al-Kahf 18:24]
‘Ikrimah said: i.e., when you get angry. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaytaan (Satan), then seek refuge with Allaah”
[al-A’raaf 7:200]
i.e., if the Shaytaan makes you angry – then seek refuge with Allaah, for He is the All-Hearer, All-Knower – i.e., He hears the ignorance of the ignorant and He knows the things that take anger away from you.
One of the wise men said: Whoever remembers the power of Allaah will not use his own power to wrong the slaves of Allaah. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Muslim ibn Muhaarib said to Haroon al-Rasheed: “O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, I ask You by the One before Whom you are more insignificant than I am before you, and by the One Who has more power to punish you than you have to punish me: why don’t you let me off?” So he left him off, because he had reminded him of the power and might of Allaah.
2 – He should get out of the situation he is in, so that his anger will dissipate because of his moving away from that situation.
It was narrated that Abu Dharr said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to us: “If one of you gets angry when he is standing, let him sit down, and if that does not take away his anger, then let him lie down.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4782; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
3 – He should remember what anger leads to of regret and the need to apologize.
One of the literary figures said: Beware of the pride of anger, for it leads to the humiliation of apology.
4 – He should remember the reward for forgiving others and of being tolerant, so he should force himself to overcome his anger, seeking that reward and so as to avoid deserving blame and punishment. Raja’ ibn Haywah said to ‘Abd al-Malik ibn Marwaan, when he had the power to capture some of his enemies: “Allaah has given you the victory that you wanted, so give Allaah what He wants of forgiveness.” A man said something that ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez disliked to hear, so ‘Umar said: “You wanted the Shaytaan to provoke me because of my position so that I would be harsh with you and in return you would harm me tomorrow (i.e., on the Day of Resurrection). Go away, may Allaah have mercy on you.”
5 – He should remind himself of the way that people like and respect him, and he should not risk losing that because of his anger, so that people change their minds about him. He should know that by forgiving people he will only increase the respect with which they view him.
As the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will not increase a person who forgives others except in honour.” Narrated by Muslim, 2588.
And one of the poets said:
“It is not a trait of nobility to be swift in seeking revenge.
And generosity does not lead to a loss of blessings.”
2007-07-21 05:51:51
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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As soon as you feel your self getting angry take that angry though captive and crucify it by determining that you are going to stop the process of getting angry right then and there.
2 Corinthians 10:5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
Do what James said to do so that way you are not getting caught up in an argument before you realize it and you have a chance to make sure that you know what the other person is really saying.
James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.
Finally, if you find that you are about to lose control over your anger then break your self free from the situation and go off by your self for a while until you can calm down.
2 Timothy 2:22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
2007-07-21 06:32:56
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answer #2
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answered by Martin S 7
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I used to have a pretty hot temper, but I realized that I could indeed control it (as can you). In addition to the old "count to 10 when you start feeling angry rule", try to take your ego out of the equation. It's the ego at the source of the anger issue. Accept that you will not get agreement or buy-in from everyone, accept and respect the differences of opinion you will encounter, and remember that prizes are usually not awarded for being right. If you feel yourself heating up, you also have the option to walk away and not engage. That way, you don't generate negativity, regret, or hard feelings. I imagine there are certain people who also try to get you worked up because they know they can. Ignore those that do.
2007-07-21 05:54:20
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answer #3
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answered by ? 5
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Stop yourself if you are ready to lash out and go somewhere to cool off. (Force yourself not to say anything until you think about it. Pretend you have a mouth full of water, so you don't say anything.) Pick your battles...think about how much the issue really will matter a few days, weeks, months, or years down the road. Write down what you want to say, and then think about it overnight, if possible. Sometimes the next day, things don't seem so bad. Then you can tear up what you wrote. If you still think something needs to be said, force yourself to talk in a softer voice when you address your concerns with others. Don't focus on who's to blame, but how the problem can be solved. Be willing to compromise.
Sometimes anger is a sign of depression or stress. See if you can do things to make yourself happier overall.
2007-07-21 06:15:53
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answer #4
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answered by hodgiegirl2000 4
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Start to understand that not everyone agrees with you and it's ok that they don't. Speak your point of view but never tell people what to think or vice versa. If you feel yourself start to get angry just say sorry maybe we can talk later. and walk off. If that doesn't work, tell a doctor. There's meds for it.
2007-07-21 05:44:53
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answer #5
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answered by Agnostic Front 6
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Salaam,
Everytime you get angry, look down on the ground, say a prayer or two, and you will see that ALLAH will rid you of your anger.
It is said that when you look on the ground (which is below you), you will slowly lose your anger for whatever matter it is. It is not good to always be angry, but try controlling yourself slowly and keep ALLAH in your daily prayers. May peace be upon you.
Khudha Hafiz,
-Ash
2007-07-21 05:44:28
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Listen, I have your problem.
First, spot it coming, and withdraw. For you, its simply bait for you to bite a hook.
Second, give all 'retaliatian' 24 hrs, even after you are 100 percent sure of yourself.
Third, remind yourself, people have their own 'demons' from childhood, and are not 'fighting you'.
Fourth, you are now an adult, and free and don't have to defend your decisions to anyone, except God.
Fifth, you asked this question, which means you know about it, and are already above your 'Past' behavior.
Congratulations.
2007-07-21 05:55:04
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answer #7
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answered by Thomas Paine 5
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If you are saved, be quick to hear, slow to speak, and this will help you to be slow to get angry. For those of you who are saved, if you allow the Spirit of God, which dwells in you, to have His way, He will be a major help in this area. Of course if you are not, if you have this problem, then you will most likely always have this problem. Remember this:
No person can serve God with the nature that they are born with. They need God to radically execute that nature and then radically infuse you with His (God's) Holy Spirit.
It is only then, you can begin serving God, and that Holy Spirit, will enable you to eventually, if not immediately, get that anger under control.
2007-07-21 05:50:43
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answer #8
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answered by 1saintofGod 6
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I don't need Allah's reward, but I have found that rubbing you ears helps a great deal when you feel your temper going, or holding your breath as long as you can. I bite my finger (I have a callous there now). Don't forget, though, if you hold back too much you can get high blood pressure.
2007-07-21 05:44:35
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answer #9
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answered by ? 6
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meditate and practice deep breathing exercises. One other good way would be to count to 10 before you answer. You must be in control of your facilities in order to get ahead in life. Anger gets you no where but thrown out on your butt. You must regain yourself. You need to be in control of your thoughts and feelings and emotions. Hope you walk away from here with a little more insight. Good luck
2007-07-21 05:53:27
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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just walk away ive got 2 small kids and everytime i see the kitchen flooded or the hallway redecorated fire engine red i get really angry really quickly i find walking away having a smoke and 2 minutes to myself really does work
2007-07-21 06:02:55
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answer #11
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answered by Anonymous
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