BIG PrObLeM PLeAsE HELP?

Question

please read I dont know what else to do ...
for the past couple of months my mother has continually bought my child :

rabit;

rat;

snake;

chicken;

and a lizard.
Even though my husband and I say TO STOP,so she keeps them @ her home.

I always tell her to please stop buying all these animals.@ home my 13yr.old already has 2 dogs a cat fish and hermit crabs.so its not like hes pet deprived.

the big deal comes in when the pets die and I end up having to deal with my child crying for days over these animals.
so now the lizard has DIED and my son has been away with his uncle on summer break.I really dont want to deal with my son been broken hearted over this,and my mother keeps calling me @ work telling me to please buy him a new one befors he gets back and I always have to deal with this B.S. please help me should I buy him a new lizard to save him from been broken hearted or just let her deal with her consequences???
please I cant take it anymore what should I do?

WoW you are all so AWESOME...
"THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart" for helping me realize what as a PARENT I MUST DO.Believe me when I say that this has been such a great stressfull time for me,I will go speak to my mother today!!!
My son will be here in 3 days of course I will let some days go by and now I know what to say and do when he ask's.

Answer 1

It may help to start with your kids....explain to them that grandma is a generous person and wants to make them happy but enough is enough! The kids should not ask for the pets and politely tell grandma "no thanks" if she offers. The money spent on pets could be well spent on clothing or other hobbies for the kids. If this doesn't work, for every animal that is given, you should go out and buy one for your mother. She just may get the hint when you start bringing over some furry critters for her to take care of. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about your dilemma but, your child by now, should accept death in minute pets. He can't be that sensitive that he has to be broken hearted over a lizard. Just explain to him that the thing died of natural causes and then, sit him down and explain to him that all animals and reptiles die and go to good places and let your mother deal with the consequences. Is your son asking for these pets or is your mother doing it on her own ? Stand your ground and tell your mother to stay out of the family business when it comes to buying things such as pets without permission from you. She is just bypassing you and if your mom had any kind of respect, she should at least respect your wishes.

Answer 3

Let deal with the BIG problem first your son coming home to find his pet lizard has passed. Losing something you care about whether your a child or adult can be a heartbreaking experience and should be handled with care. Although he is young you must explain to him that his pet may have passed and forever gone but shall always be live on in the memories he'll carry in his heart. Let him participate in the decisions on burial, have a ceremony if he wishes, but don't go out and purchase another lizard and think that things will be better.
your mother for some reason is trying to purchase your sons love which we all know cannot be done. You should have a sit down with her as well, maybe some thing's going on in her life. Good Luck

Answer 4

You need to be firm with your mother and tell her what this does to her son and how it makes you feel. You will also need to be open and honest with your son. The fact is that animals do die. Be up front with him about an animal's life span and what his expectations should be.

I don't think you should replace his lizard while he is gone and try to deceive him into thinking it is the same lizard. The truth will come out and he will resent you for lying to him about it.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

well I think there comes a time when you just have to put your foot down. It is unhealthy for your child to have so many broken hearts at such a young age. I bet your mother loves animals right. so tell her to by them for herself and not your son. I have 7 children. I know how hard it will be for you but it is what is best for your son.

Answer 6

If you buy him a new lizard, that's just avoiding the real problems.
The 1st problem being your Mother's actions. Let her see what you have to deal with when he's heartbroken over losing an animal. Make her have to deal with it.
The 2nd problem is you're trying to protect your child from reality and that's not good.
Death is a fact of life...and we all have to learn to deal with it. Yes, it's ashame that he has to learn at a young age, but all the same, we never know when we will have to deal with it.
So running from it isn't going to prepare him for it.
I went through the same things with my children.
And I hated it...but then came along the problem of having to deal with losing family members. I didn't want them to have to go through that either, but it is a fact of life.

Don't cover up for your Mom.
If you do she's just going to keep doing what she's doing.
If you buy the lizard, you're protecting your Mom.
If you don't by the lizard, you're preparing your son for the realities of life.
That's our job as parents:
We are to love our children.
We are to protect our children.
We are to keep our children safe and healthy.
And we are to prepare our children for life.

Good luck
I wish you well

Answer 7

You can't buy him a new one to save him from his feelings.. he'll needs to continue to learn about death as it is part of life (and there's always the risk that he'll realise it's not the same lizard anyway)...
You need to continue to put your foot down with your mother, maybe even if it means being harsh - she needs to realise that these are your children (not hers), and that you and your husband have made decision about your children that she needs to respect, or perhaps think of consequences that she might have to suffer for not respecting your choices and wishes...
Good luck :-)

Answer 8

Your mom is buying these animals for herself and blaming it on the kids. Kind of like I do with Harry Potter. I read the book first and then give it to my kids. lol!

Seriously, you can't really control this situation since she's keeping the animals at her house. You kid is 13 and he should be respectful of the cycle of life by now. People and animals die - that's life. I know she feels bad when the animals die but explain that this is a sad part of life.

Answer 9

Be very firm and refuse anymore animals. Explain to her about your child crying when they die. Before your child can become attched to the animal, tell her that your son will not be visiting if she continues to buy animals.

Also, ask her why she keeps buying more animals? What's the reason?

Answer 10

oh my. . . . a problem that i never heard before. . . .

well, for me, since you are the mother, the parent. . . .
i guess, you have the right to choose what is best for your child. even though your mother is against to it, just tell her your side that your the mother, and you are to decide. . . .

and what is the advantage anyway, of having these animals, where in the end, the child mourns with the death of this animals. . . .

THINK ABOUT IT. . .
your the mother in here. . . . .