We use to date a couple years ago, long distance. The feelings were strong, but the distance was an obstacle (8 hrs). We've kept in touch. He came up up for my birthday and spent time with me in April. He still tries to come up and see me, but I'm not sure how I feel about that due to his situation. (I wouldn't want my fiance to go out of town and spend time with someone he use to date.) Sometimes it is out sight out of mind with him. Even if we can't be together now, I don't want him to be engaged. I want him to be an option. I can't imagine him married. To my understanding he doesn't live with the fiance yet. She is out of town but the next state over. I thought I stopped feeling this way about him, until I saw him after 2 years. I think I just pushed my feeling away but they resurfaced. I have mixed feelings, but I know I don't really want him to be engaged. I know that if t is meant to be it wll be, but I don't want him to be the one that got away. There is a very strong cohemistry
2007-07-21 05:15:11 · 15 answers · asked by sweetpea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to let him know how you are feeling.
Yes, he's engaged.....But he's not married yet.
If he were married, I wouldn't be suggesting this.
But you need to lay your feelings out on the table.
If he says he's happier with his finance, then you need to respect that.
But make sure you really do want a chance at a life with him. And it's not just because he's no longer available that is making you want him.
And the only way you can do that is look deep within yourself and ask yourself would you really be happy with him forever. If not, then "let sleeping dogs lie" and leave him alone.
But I think you should atleast get your feelings out there and let him know.
Then you will never look back because you know you tried ;)
2007-07-21 05:23:51 · answer #1 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey. I'm sorry to hear your plight. I really hope things work out for you. So whats my opinion about your situation? Well, firstly reassure you that what you are saying about your feelings is true. You really love this person. How do I know, well, your right when you say that if you truly love someone your feeling for that person will never fade away. So the feelings that your having about not wanting him to be engaged etc is due to your true love for him.
So now what do you do in this situation? Well that's the difficult part. You see, you could tell him how you feel (I'm guessing he does not know your true feelings), but the danger is that he might see this a jealousy and move away further from you. Alternatively you could do nothing and hope and pray that things between them don't work out so that you eventually move in. Its a difficult situation. However, personally I think you should go with the former in a sensitive and polite way. Tell him how you really feel, but at the same time acknowledge that he is with someone else.
I hope things really work out for you.
P.S. Please let me know what you decided and how you got on. I pray that the best for you and him is the outcome.
2007-07-21 05:26:49 · answer #2 · answered by Mohammed I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you may hate the fact that he's moved on & getting married, it's not your decision to make. You need to respect him & his fiance by staying out of the picture. I would tell him that I didn't think it was appropriate for him to visit considering the circumstances. Sorry that he is no longer an "option" for you but that decision was made when you two ended the relationship. Just because he doesn't live with her doesn't mean it isn't serious; they obviously have definate plans to marry. And to me, being engaged is "off the market" so to speak. Move on & let him enjoy life with his soon-to-be wife.
2007-07-21 05:23:05 · answer #3 · answered by sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would really think about it before you decide if it's love or just old feelings that you might like to resurface.
Other wise if yo u are really in love with him,I would tell him.
An Engagment isn't bonded yet..once he's married you need to stay away..So if you feel strong about it,say so now..but make sure to brace yourself..he may not feel the same or,doing this can cause problems between them and that might not work out the way you'd like it to..Good luck
2007-07-21 05:19:58 · answer #4 · answered by calebsmom85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice...Such stuff is possible that you are thinking as a 1 sided affection... I do such stuff to my friends. The difference is that its a 6 hours bus trip. However, i just treat her as a little sister. She treats me like a older brother. When she sick i go over and take care of her. When she lonely, i try to go her area as soon as possible. By doing all this, i showing brotherly love to a sister. This is also strong chemistry
Anyway, since he is already engaged, shouldn't you think that its over? By gaining someone you love through another person be sad is not worth it.
Such stuff can cause alot of problems to both your relationship and his. You should keep your realationship between him strictly professional
2007-07-21 05:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by Mc BenJamin Tan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, forget about him.. if you're really destined to be together, he shouldn't have been engaged with another girl.. and my personal advice is to just let things be.. let him marry that other girl.. You might hurt a lot of people if you try to stop them... things have gone too far now, dear.. maybe it's too late.. I'm sorry..
but this isn't the end of the world, you know.. there are millions of men out there.. go ahead. move on. ^_^
2007-07-21 05:39:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is now engaged to someone else either one: or he doesn't know what he wants from his life, or he likes to play with the girls feelings and heart...If you want to be the "second" girl on his life, and you like to suffer and a stress in this kinda relationship forever keep seeing him, otherwise...run, run away has fast has you can!!respect yourself and respect his choices too.Be firm with him and don't accept to be the second choice of anyone..He needs to make a final decision and you need to move on with your life!
2007-07-21 05:23:02 · answer #7 · answered by Rute A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's engaged. Until he breaks it off with her you are in no position to consider him available therefore you need to grieve it and move on. I know that's tough but it's healthier and a lot easier than having your heart broken. "Above all else, Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." Prov. 4:23.
2007-07-21 05:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rethink your thinking if you talked him away than someone could talk him from you .Find 1 that not involved to much drama.Let him decide if your the 1 not you breaking them up.
2007-07-21 05:21:17 · answer #9 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him you'll let him go.
it may be hard but you don't want to make the other girl suffer as you have.
these feelings will fade with time, there is some one out there for you, just not him.
2007-07-21 05:21:06 · answer #10 · answered by Promise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋