does anyone have any behaviour strategies for a 20month old having screaming tantrums?

Question

my son is 20mnths old. if he cant have his own way, or if one of us leaves the room he has a screaming fit. sometimes it subsides sometimes he just sits and screams and when we try to pick him up or move him he thrashes and hits out. hes just started doing this when we go out and is having one right now.
he is very clever for his age, has been walking for nearly a year, says some words (ie, yes and no, car, doggy, duck, oh look, hiya, bye, 4 3 2 go, basic vocab basically). he isnt spoilt but he has everything he needs and eats and drinks well. generally hes a happy healthy child and can be very affectionate but independent too.
another thing hes started doing is laughing when he is told no. i have tried telling him no, mild smacking (but never more because i dont like it) , timeout, going to bed if he continues to repeat negative behaviour on tantrums but i'm finding it very hard!
help?

to joseph in particular, i'm still with dad and he plays us both up the same and when i go to work or get in he goes nuts because hes jealous of me giving dad affection.
also, if ignored he will sit and scream and do nothing else. but i like the idea of singing to distract him! might try that...

Answer 1

This is manipulation and my daughter tried this once in the middle of a major department store. I quickly left my things there and removed her from the situation. I took her outside (she was in her stroller), and quietly and calmly explained to her that she would never be able to go anywhere else with mom if she continued to do this. She never did it again.
I can't say if this will work for your child also, but removing them from the situation in time out (appropriate to their age). (ie if your baby is 20 months, then he should be in time out about a minute or two). You should watch Jo Frost on 'The Nanny' she deals with this type of behavior all the time.
And mild smacking is a big no-no also. I never had to hit my children. It just teaches them that being violent is acceptable behavior. No yelling, either.

Answer 2

Ha, sounds like mine! DO NOT GIVE IN TO THEIR DEMANDS!!!!! Just make sure he is in a safe place for his temper tantrum (won't hit his head) and let him fight it out (also a timeout) Closer to 2 and half they'll put sorry with it. Don't give him ANY attention unless there is danger (my youngest picks up the heaviest thing he could and throws it) THis is so normal, because it is the only way they know how to express themselves (talking obviously doesn't work yet.) Eventually they'll get the hint, and it will slow down.....but it may not be awhile!

The major difference between this age and puberty is the talking (and knowing right & wrong)....still moody and figuring out their limitations!

Leave the smack on the hand with a stern NO for : touching stove, walking on the dog, other dangers.....makes your life MUCH less stressful, and the kids will know the most important limits.

You have to be consistent and not react when they laugh. They don't know manipulation like we do, they do it to see what their own limitations are, not to "make you mad." They'll save that for puberty......

Answer 3

the only factor that works for that style of tantrum is to thoroughly forget approximately approximately them. in case you are able to desire to go her to a secure area so she would not harm herself or everyone else you are able to yet do no longer say something or look at her in case you're donning her to the different room. while my son became approximately 19 months previous he began pitching a extra wholesome while he did no longer get what he wanted. i might gently restate my place (as an occasion, "you are able to purely have one million cookie") and then i might stroll away as he flailed around on the floor like a fish kicking and screaming. the 1st of those suits lasted very almost 5 minutes yet after that they have got been given progressively shorter till after 2 or 3 days that they had noticeably lots stopped. he's now very almost 23 months and in spite of the actuality that he does nevertheless have the occasional tantrum (what toddler would not) they are rare (perhaps 2-3 each week) and not in any respect final extra effective than a minute or 2. good success!

Answer 4

Tell him very calmly that if he wants to yell it would be best for him to do it outside. He'll soon get bored with having no one to exhibit to. I remember my daughter having the screaming abdabs during a shopping expedition and lying on the ground kicking her feet. I told her I was going to leave her, and then did so, only, of course to the nearest shop doorway where I hid and watched. The tantrum didn't last long!

Answer 5

i have 5 children and the best thing i have found is ignorance.i can just switch off and ignore a tantrum i will not speak to or acknowledge any of mine if they flip.2 of my boys 1=18 and 1=9 have ADHD so over the years i have been silently pulling my hair out,but if your child gets a reaction from you the behavioural problems will continue.i have never smacked my kids but i always let them know when their behaviour is wrong and always explain why it is wrong.if you find it hard to switch off sing over the top of his screams my kids used to stop crying and stare at me as though i was nuts.diverting attention works.they forget what they are crying for.hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 6

what I did was put our son in his room and let him scream I told him it was okay to be angry and to scream but he was not going to do it for everyone to see, after a few days of moving him to a place where he was the only on in the area the screaming stopped also all my kids (4) have done this when we leave it is all about giving them something else to do, get them intrested in books so when you leave you can pull out that special book that he can look at by himself and then a different one that only the babysitter will read to him make it a fun time not so much as --mom is leaving but it will get better I promise!

Answer 7

I have a grandaughter that way. The parents let her get away with too much. I keep telling them that she is only 3. You have to show her who is boss you are the adult supposedly. I never had such problems with my kids. I just can't beleive parents these days. I would spank his bottom and put him in his rm. When he throws those fits I would walk out of the rm. Let him throw the fits by himself. If he starts thrashing at you, take hold of his arms and sit there holding them until he stops. Tell him he has to stop or you won't let him go.

Answer 8

Your child is manipulating you and you better nip it in the bud. If you watched the episodes of Supernanny, you will see a method she used to get the child to stay in his bed, where she gradually moves further and further from the bed, as well as the naughty mat/chair method she used. You should check it out. I wish I knew those things when my son was small! This method is exhausting at first, but don't give up. Just look at the results she got.

Answer 9

Um... yeah if he screams and crys they he'll just have to get over it set him in timeout and leave and go do something else. If he walks in to wherever you are you go back to the timeout place and set him there and do it until he become silent then you go up to him and say you disobedied mommy and threw a temper tantrum and I would like you to say sorry. Haven't you ever watched Super Nanny?

Answer 10

Instead of saying 20 months old say 2 yrs old.He is learning how to play mommy like a cheap violin in easy lessons.Smack him hard enough to get his attention and tell him no and stick with it.If you do not show him who is boos now,when he hits his teenage yrs he will give you a lot more trouble.In fact by the time he is 5-10 yrs old he will stand and cuss you to your face.No man will marry a woman who lets her little child rule her like that and if they do, it's withj the thought"I will beat that brat's butt and straighten him out" in the back of their mind.When the mother doesn't allow the man to "straighten her brat out, he says"I'm not putting up with being mistreated by this brat!" then he leaves and files for divorce.THIS is what you have to look forward to.My parents didnt beg and plead with us as toddlers.They let us know who was in charge.Spanking is not pleasant or fun, but sometimes it HAS to be done.Be strong in front of him,spank his butt good until he is crying real tears, set him the corner for 5 minutes then go cry in another room until you can compose yourself.Then he will learn the word "no" carries unpleasant consequences.If the spanking doesn't hurt, it is a waste of time as you obviously have proven.