My ex-husband and I got married at 27 and at the time he was fully aware that I never intended to have children and he told me he was ok with that. I couldn’t find a doctor who’d let me get my tubes tied in my 20’s so I took every other precaution I had available to make sure I didn’t get pregnant. After 3 years of marriage I got pregnant and was determined to abort it but everyone around me especially my husband begged me to reconsider assuring me I’d feel different once she was born. I ended up having my daughter , signing away all parental rights and divorcing him because I didn’t see how we could make it work with a baby I never wanted in our lives. I see my daughter about four times a month when dropping off the 5 dogs we share custody over. My family has virtually disowned me for not having any contact with my daughter who turned 3 last week. Why can’t they just understand that I don’t want to be part of her life? Note: At the insistence of my mother who adores children, I went to several doctors who all confirmed that I’m not suffering from any type of depression and am in perfect health. I just recently got a promotion with a significant pay increase and have a wonderful boyfriend of a year and just couldn’t be happier. Why can’t they be happy for me?
2007-07-21 00:42:58 · 63 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think that you should just never even see her. You made the right choise in signing over parental rights to her.... She doesn't deserve to grow up knowing that she is unwanted and unloved by you. many people give children up for adoption all the time. Just stay away from her and let her daddy raise her and love her. You don't even deserve custody of the dogs...I mean please, you go to his house and share custody of the dogs, but don't want your daughter????? She really is better off without you in her life.
2007-07-21 03:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by erin_foss8191@sbcglobal.net 3 · 10⤊ 1⤋
I don't understand why don't you want to be a part of you daughter's life. You are so stupid. If I was your family I would disowned you too. When you become a mother first of all your body and feelings do change. But it seems like you are a hateful person against kids. First of all they attention that you give those 5 dogs you need to give to your 3year old daughter. What has the 3year old child done to you to hate her so much. That little girl needs you more than anything in the world. When she becomes a teenager she will need a mother to guide her not her father. Girls need there mother more than the father in there lives once and they get older. Once you gave you parental rights up than you should go over there and see that little girl. You are a Stupid Lady sorry to say that. You make me look bad as a Mother part. That you would be the day I give up my parental rights and don't want nothing to do with my kids ha ha!! Especially after 9 months of pregnancy and all the labor pains. You are STUPID!!! You are a very shellfish person because you don't think of your family members that they might want to be part of her life. They can't be happy for you because it is not about you it is about your 3years old daughter. STUPID!!!! Once and a child comes along is not all about you It's about the child. Get the point.
I hope you have tied you tubes this time. I hope you have told you boyfriend what a horable mother you are.
2007-07-21 02:40:20 · answer #2 · answered by Antonia G 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well. I know you have about 37 answers already, but if you happen to read this one...
Stop seeing them. Stop seeing your ex through animals. Just keep or give up the animals completely.. and stay out of their lives for good.
If thats not the life you want, then stop lurking around.
You can still have a relationship withyour parents, but the grandchild will probably come first to them.. so why talk to them either.... I mean.. does it matter? It doesnt seem like u are that much of a "family person" anyway.
Just move on and start a new life..
P.S. dont forget to get your tubes tied...
and i dont believe you tried everything, b/c an IUD would have prevented the pregnancy in the first place.
Dont feel guilty for not wanting to be a mom. Its better you step away unlike the people that stay and beat their children. Besides.. men do it all the time, you are gettingmore heat b/c you are a woman.
2007-07-21 02:59:31 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ B1tchHere ♥ 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Has something occured in your life to make you so bitter and heartless towards kids. You share custody of 5 dogs but you want nothing to do with your daughter. I think you need to at least take into consideration how your daughter must feel. Having such a cruel, heartless, b***h of a mother who puts her own feelings first. Hope when your old, ugly and on your death bed you realise that life without family is no life at all. Better yet why wait till then- im sure no one will miss such a cold hearted selfish poor excuse for a woman
2007-07-28 17:10:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Even though as a mother I don't understand you. I more can't understand why people are so upset that you just don't want to be a mom. If this were a man the comments would be more of financial demands, with very little regards or expectations to being a part of the childs life. Look how many men out there that aren't a part of their childrens lives.
2007-07-28 15:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by shello 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand to a point of not wanting kids (I was like that when I was 19-20 yrs old) but then found out I was pregnant and when I had her was very happy and realized that life had changed. I now have 4 children whom I love very much and could not imagine not having any of them (I am also a single mom)!
Unfortunately, when you get older you are going to regret your decision and by then it will be too late to try and get any kind of relationship with your daughter when she is older. She may just tell you where to go if you decide to keep doing what you are doing.
Sad very sad!
2007-07-27 08:21:48 · answer #6 · answered by rcjusticegirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG, I have never seen this many answers to a question. I am not going to judge you at all. When I was 27 I did not want kids either, and told my husband when I married him that i absoulty don't like kids and dont want them. Anyways, these people here are sooo mean to you. If you had aborted it, then your family and husband and everyone else would have never talked to you and would have judge you for that. So you cannot win, either way. They begged you to keep it and you did. So they should be greatful for the sacrafice that you made. You gave her life and a child for your husband, and he knew that you did not want this kid and did not want any part of it. So, you should just leave your ex and your daughter alone, and don't go there so often. It is not good for you, because everyone will make you feel guilty. It is also not emotionaly good for your daughter either. Just cut off all ties for a while and see what happens. They will just have to accept it.
2007-07-24 15:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by msknowitall 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Who gives a flip what you want? You were dealt this hand for a reason, it was meant to be. Just because you took the necessary steps to avoid pregnancy, and the the legal steps to avoid responsibility, it's not fair to deny your daughter her mother......what did she do to you? Don't you ever wonder why it happened, i mean REALLY why? She's destined for something great, or she wouldn't be here.
You need to either be a mom, or leave your ex and the dogs that you love more than your own flesh the hell alone! Have some sort of compassion for your ex, are you the one answering the questions that this girl is asking about her mom, or at least will be asking when she is grown enough to understand that you didn't want her? Geez!
Can't say I blame your family one bit. What a freaking embarrassment!
congratulations on your promotion with big pay increase, because everyone knows money is everything!
2007-07-21 05:02:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
Because any one who has any kind of conscience could not even imagine doing that to their child and the fact that you can is disheartening at least.
You share dogs but not your child?
I realise there are Mother's (or I should say "birth Mother" in your case) that have walked away from their child without looking back, but at 27 you were old enough to have not succumbed to pressure to have a child if you didn't want one. The fact is you went through with it and now this little girl is the one that has to suffer when she's old enough to realise that the one person that should be there for her never wanted her and abandoned her.
Your child is here by no choice of her own and you have an obligation to her. I'd like to say that she's going to be so much better off without a Mother like you, but the real truth is she will be forever effected by your abandonment and probably wish for your love every day of her life and that my dear is what makes you a despicable and selfish human being.
2007-07-21 02:12:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
The best I can say for you is that you didn't rob your husband of his daughter by aborting her... that's about the only good I can see in you from what you have told us. It takes a very self centered person to completely abandon their own child. Why are you so concerned about what your mother thinks of you anyway... you want love and acceptance from your mother when you refuse to show the same to your daughter. Your ex deserves better than you and so does your daughter. And now you are looking for approval on Y!A? If you were truly at peace with yourself you wouldn't need strangers telling you how right you are. Let your ex keep the damn dogs and stay completely out of his and your daughters life!!
2007-07-21 20:00:25 · answer #10 · answered by ♪♫♪Ginny♪♫♪ 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ok, this is so shocking to me, but I"m going to take the high road here and say this. Whether you wanted your daughter or not, do you want to screw up her life completely more than you already have?? Its going to be hard enough for your daughter to come to terms that her mother doesn't want her. God willing her father or your parents will help fill that void. But for her to have salt thrown in her wounds that you'd rather see your DOGS???? For the love of god, either you get rid of the dogs or take them completely, none of this shared custody crap. If you don't want to be a part of your daughter's life, GET OUT OF IT COMPLETELY. All you are doing is messing with her head and making her life harder than it already is going to be. Its a tease, and a real mean one.
That said, go run off into the sunset to your happy life, and with that wonderful pay raise, find someone to sterilize you PRONTO.
2007-07-23 13:29:32 · answer #11 · answered by Mom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋