I recently had to put my beloved cat to sleep. She had cancer and died in my arms. Any suggestions on coping

Question

with the guilt? Can one really move on? She was 16 and my baby. I am at a loss on so many levels.

Answer 1

I know exactly what you're going through.

I lost a cat years ago to cancer. Tessie was basically my very first pet, and it tore me up to put her to sleep. She was an orange and white tabby, 11 years old.

What helped me was to think of this: Just think of the life she would have had, had you chosen not put her down.

If you cat was anything like mine, it wouldn't have been a good life. Tessie was always so weak and frail...She'd sit on my bed and never move for hours and hours. Finally we even had to buy a separate litter box for her, and put it right next to my bed so that she wouldn't have to travel far. I mean, what kind of living is that, y'know?

And, at least you got to be with her in her passing moments. My mother was caring for my cat while I was at school, and she called to tell me that she had put Tessie to sleep, and that she didn't have the heart to stay with her while she died.

So instead, the vets took my cat to the back room and she died with them. I still resent my mother's decision...even if it killed me to watch, I would've never let my cat die alone, and that's what I feel like my mother let happen. I wish I could've been there.

You did the right thing.

Answer 2

I also lost a cat to kidney failure and what you are going through is pretty typical. It's not painful but there is a slow progression of the symptoms where the cat loses weight and gradually has more accidents and they just gradually slow down. My cat was 19 years old, mostly blind and deaf, and on Sub-q fluids and but up till the end mostly happy. She smaller than yours (9 lbs was normal for her) and when she got down to 4 lbs and could barely walk around and had no interest in food, I decided the time had come. I watched her walk slowly up the hill from her favorite spot and knew the day had come. She just wasn't enjoying life anymore. The howling is consistent with senility or deafness in older cats, not pain. The fact that your cat is still eating and seems mostly happy are good signs. The kidney failure will probably be the issue before the cancer becomes one. You can probably help out with the grooming issues. It depends on how much you can tolerate and deal with the accidents which are hard to manage. If the abscess won't heal or your cat stops eating or is clearly having no more enjoyment in life, then you'll know. My heart goes out to you. I've been there.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, I have had two pets (dog/cat) put down in the last four years, loosing someone you love, human or animal is never easy, but what got me through each time was thinking positively "he's in a better place and not in any more pain".

Don't ever feel guilty, because I am certain that you were doing what you thought was the best.

Given time you will be able to move on, two years after having my dog put down, I finally fell in love with a friends cat (which I ended up adopting) although I only had him for a year, I gave him the best year of his life!

My Brother recently adopted an abandoned dog, she is still a puppy (8-9 months) and I absolutely love her to bits.

So as the saying goes, time heals all wounds, personally I believe it should really be changed to time heals most wounds.

I will never forget Cleveland (dog) or Samual (cat) they will always have a special place in my heart.

Answer 4

I know how you feel trust me. My first cat Samantha was my BF. We grew up together! I had her 11 years and one day I came home from work and found her lieing on a chair paralyzed. I picked her up and rushed her to the vets and found out that she had advanced heart disease and I never knew it. She was MY cat and never liked other people or being fooled with. I knew in my heart she would never appreciate the intensive care that was going to be needed to make her live a extra year. In her best interests I decided it was best to let her go. Never in my life did I ever hurt so bad over an animals death. I kid you not I was depressed for 6 months. I know it sounds funny but she and I had a incredable bond. I vowed never to own a cat again. Even though its been years since her death I have never forgotten her and never will. I now have three cats in the house. One of my babies is a bottle fed kitten that I have had since he was 5 days old. I know from loosing sammy that loosing my boy now will be even worse and everybody is dreading the day it comes. I cannot tell you how to cope but I can only tell you that it will hurt for a good while. Good luck and best of wishes

Answer 5

I'm so sorry to hear about this, Jen Roo. I had to deal with something very similar just back in January- and I confess, I cried like a baby.

You loved your little fur-baby all her life, and gave her a good life as long as you could. And when it came her time to cross the Rainbow Bridge, you were there for her then too. Go ahead and mourn: She was a big part of your life, in her turn.

Were there any especial plants or flowers she liked? Go ahead and plant a few. Go ahead and think of her. Remember the funny or happy times, too. You might even want to make a little photo album or scrap book.

Feel better, Jen. Your little furry friend would not wish you to be sad forever.

Answer 6

I had to put my cat down several years ago felv It was very painful for me I had a really hard time coping so did my other cat .I went to a pet loss support group which really helped i also bought a pet journal which also really helped sorry you have to go through this as for the guilt please don't feel guilty you did the right thing easing the pain for your cat I don't regret putting my cat down I took his pain away my mothers dog had heart problems he died in her arms he was 13 she still has guilt when it comes to that I think our animals understand you could also try talking to a pet communicator

Answer 7

Ah, your story certainly bought me a stab of pain.

My 12 year old cat had terrible cancer as well, we had to put him to sleep too. I loved him so much...

You mention guilt, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY, please don't...
By having your cat put to sleep you made the right choice, I promise. You did the only ethical thing, you cut short the pain and suffering of your friend. When becoming a pet owner, you take on the responsibility to look out for them and make sure that they are happy, and when one of our animals is suffering then it is our duty to relieve it, even if that means ending it forever.

You'd be a cruel monster if you didn't help your cat to have peace.

I'm so sorry for your loss, gosh, i hope I don't get tears all over the keyboard. :(

I know exactly how you feel, and you did the right thing.

Answer 8

Hope this eases the pain....
Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Answer 9

I am so sorry to hear that hon. I had to have a dog of mine put to sleep several years ago. the way that I had coped with it was that after about two or three months I got me a new puppy. It really helped. Didn't take the place of my other one but made things much eaiser. Good luck.

Answer 10

Don't be ashamed to cry.
My pets are part of the family. I've had to bury so many over the years. I don't care what the neighbors think when I'm digging and crying my eyes out.
You also have to remember that what you did relieved all her pain. I know that if i was dying and in pain I would hope that somebody would end the suffering for me.