Why does he have to look at porn when Im at work ect.?

Question

Theres a lot to this story Ill try to make it short. He dont come onto me and rejects me a lot of the time that I come onto him. I am rather attractive and he says this all the time, not to mention I am VERY open in bed and theres not much of anything I wont gladly do. I would watch with him but he likes it on his own.So I dont understand why he is obsessed with porn. He'll reject me and then I find out on the computer that he looked up porn...grrrrr! He looks up specific porn girls ect. He lies about it cause he knows it drive me nutz and hurts me, but the lies make it worse. Then when we have sex I feel like hes doing it so I can throw it in his face that he wants to jerk off to porn over having me who would do anything. I feel very insecure now and spend countless hrs scanning the cookies and history ect. to find out more lies.I love so many other things about him and us but I hate how this makes me feel, I dont think its right to ask him to stop cause its what he wants. help:)

Those that say Im the one obsessed, I sorta agree but I wont be lied to and I need to know what Im dealing with so I can try to figure out what move I should make. I hope Im explaining this right.

Answer 1

You're "rather attractive" and are "VERY open in bed" and he'd rather beat off to pr0n? lmao.

Dude's all messed up in the head. Find a normal guy. =)

---

I'm more than a little disturbed by all the people saying that looking at porn is "normal" and "okay". That's complete bullshit.

If the dude has a loving and beautiful woman who wants to please him, but he'd rather beat off to pictures and/or videos... something is definitely wrong.

As far as I'm concerned, if you've got someone and you're looking at porn... it's cheating.

I'd go batshit if I was with a woman who would rather diddle herself than jump on me.

Yeaaah, didn't think about that, did'ja guys?

Let's see how the men react when they find their women rubbin' one out with a 12" dildo - when they AREN'T around. Be singing a whole different song then, I bet.

Answer 2

2

Answer 3

He sounds like a sex addict. There are a lot of people addicted to porn. Try to find a website or a blog or call a counselor, There are other women that are dealing with the same problems with there men and can help you through this. If you love him then your going to have to stand your ground, if not you are always going to play backseat to his addiction. You can play dirty if you have to and cut the Internet off, make the computer so you have to have a password to even start it, and there are a few other things you can do. But I don't know you two and I really don't know how he will react to towards you for doing this.
I say that your self esteem and your worth is more important that some porn videos, I'm sorry he don't seem to share the same thoughts or maybe he does but he's addicted and may need some help.
Anyway try to find some help before you life is crushed because of this. Good Luck sweetie.

Answer 4

Most women have never understood a mans addiction to porn. I know I don't. I have been in a relationship with the same man for 12 years who likes to watch porn. It bothers me too but I finally decided I would rather for him to watch these flicks then to go out and actually create his own. The only difference is that he does not reject me. There is an underline problem within the relationship. There is something that is making him not to want to me intimate with you. You need to examine the relationship more closely somewhere some type of connection has been broken. Either the two of you need to sit down and discuss what is really going on or call it quits and move on. There are three main parts of a real relationship: trust, communication, and intimacy. Without these three things a relationship will never stand the test of time.

Answer 5

He's a guy!
Guys are totally different from Girls!
You would not understand it unless you are a guy.
That is on guys mind 99% of the time.
Again, guys can't help it. It is not a sick thing for guys to do this, they simply can't help it. He just he has a strong sex drive. This drive has been going strong since he was 12 yrs old. Women don't understand the sex drive men have. It's impossibe to get rid of until you age.
Since I am over 40 now, the drive in me takes up about 35% of my thoughts. The drive decreases as men age. As for women they increase as they get older. Who knows, you might be looking at porn when you reach 40. Again, it's a drive that is hard to control and something women will never understand unless they were able to be a man for a day.

Answer 6

You should be glad that he is so horny, some men aren't, and if he bothered you a lot about having sex you may get tired of it unless you also have a high sex drive. Men have sexual needs that one woman may not be able to satisfy, but porn takes care of his fantasies. He wants to be alone during his fantasy. Start seeing things positively and you will be a happier person, and maybe he'll open up to you in ways that help the relationship. Otherwise you will put up a wall just being insecure.

Answer 7

guys will always find porn fascinating b/c it represents something/somebody different from what they have access to at home. they may become used to/comfortable with what they have at home (you) and eventually can only become aroused over something new and "interesting" to them. you have a total right to feel hurt and insecure over it, but also try to just accept the fact that he's a guy and will always have some sort of a fascination in that stuff. you said you're very open in bed, but maybe there is something different and more interesting that could draw his attention.... perhaps something that you've told him in the past you would never be open to. surprise him by suggesting it. hopefully you can slowly draw him away from fantasy and get him interested in what is right in front of him. if this doesn't work, and if your relationship isn't too permanent (ie: marriage), then break it off and find somebody who IS more interested in you than porn.

Answer 8

You spend "countless hours" scanning your computers history looking to see what he is looking at?

Who's obsessed now?

Guys look at porn, don't take it personally.

If this bothers you so much, leave him. Go find some sucker that you can whip into submission & will let you tell him what he can and can't do - only that wouldn't be a man.

Maybe he's tired of you or needs a change in his life. Better (for you anyway) that he sit in front of the computer rather than seek out other women.

Let him be. A man should have the right to look at naked whores if he chooses to.

You and your snooping around makes me think you have the bigger issue.

Answer 9

He has an addiction, and it is just as bad as drugs. My advice will not be what you want to hear. But hear the truth and evaluate it. I had a friend whose husband was addicted to porn. She hated it, made her feel cheap when they had sex (as he would ask her to act out some of his favorite porn star movies), made her lose her self respect, and then his obsession cost them to file bankruptcy because he no longer was happy with the internet, he started going to strip clubs, which if you think about it, they pay a cover charge, pay for over priced drinks, pay the girls for dancing, etc., then he wasn't happy with the strp clubs, he started using prostitutes to fulfill his fantasies (more money), then he got fired because he was staying out nights, boozing it up, and having hangovers, then he gave my friend a cute little gift called STD,
sexually transmitted disease. Long story short, yeah she loved him too, liked all kinds of things about him, didn't want to make a big deal out of it...........so now she is broke, struggling to make ends meet, has no self worth, got an STD, and now can't have children because of it, and is now single.
Think about the big picture and then make the right choice.

Answer 10

"I dont think its right to ask him to stop cause its what he wants." Look i might sound a little harsh but it is right to tell him to stop. it obviously hurts you and hes making you feel bad about telling him to stop which is exactly how he wants you to feel. You've got to stop letting him walk all over you and tell him how you feel. he must obviously like the fantasy world of porn more then you and regardless if he has good traits or whatever hes not committing to your relationship. you need go "look...you looking at porn makes me feel like this.....and ive sat back and allowed you to go on with this to long..if you like porn more then me just tell me and ill leave.you can go and have a great one sided relationship with the computer. i dont deserve to be treated like this and really want to be with you." you no just get your point across and if he doesnt stop be like i warned you and leave him. he obviuously wasnt wiling to change for you there are plenty out there would. all in all just be up front about and stop letting how he feels about this matter effect how you treat it.good luck and i wish the best for you two.