In my attempt to be respectful to Amish people, I am being rude?

Question

At Wal-Mart tonight I was on the phone with my mom and she noticed I was skipping isles and I kept telling her to remind me I needed to go back for split peas or toilet paper etc. She finally asked me why and I said because there were Amish people in the isle and they had small children. She said I was being rude for avoiding them when in all honesty I was not trying to be rude but was avoiding them so they didn't have to look away and their small children would not have to look at me and get into trouble. From what I understand they don't like to look at English people nor do they like their children to. Plus I was not caring what I looked like at the store and was wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a nightmare before christmas t-shirt. Was I rude for avoiding them? It's not like they KNEW I was avoiding them. I was attempting to be respectful.

We have a lot of Amish around as well as Mennonites. You can tell the difference by their caps and the way the Amish women keep it completely tucked. At least that's how I've always been able to tell a difference. I grew up around both Mennonites and Amish people. Plus they were driving buggies. A whole bunch of them were there. They go there for their fabric and baking supplies. I've seen lots of Amish people at Wal-Mart but it is the only "store" in town. The grocery store is out of business and we only have a harware store.

Answer 1

Right or wrong your intention was quite considerate of you and shows you care about the people around you and the affect you might have on them.

Congratulations! You are living proof that good manners *are* alive and well! It sounds to me that there are three little miracles who have a Mom setting a good example for them! : )

Answer 2

It's kind of you to want to show respect. In this case, you would have been fine to simply go about your shopping. There is no problem with Plain people looking at "worldly" people. It'd be different if you were falling out of your clothes because they were so tight and short, or something like that (and in that case, averting one's eyes is often more out of embarrassment for the person dressed like that ;-) ) But Plain people know they share the world --and Walmart -- with the more secular, and those that choose to shop at Walmart know who's going to be there. You were fine.

I understand what your mom was saying, too, although I don't agree with her that you were being rude. I think the situation simply stemmed from your assumption about some people who are different from you, and your own innate desire to be kind. I wouldn't worry about it. I have been out in plain dress with other Plain people (yep, dress, bonnet and all, though not Amish style -- I am Quaker, although I'm not generally what would be considered a Plain Quaker), and I've seen a lot of different reactions. Some people follow, some avoid, some stare, some don't care.... But I just get on with my life. ;-) I'm sure the Amish people in Walmart did the same, so don't give it more thought than they did -- which is probably none at all.

Answer 3

I have never heard that Amish people look away from others. My understanding is that they are nice and caring. In fact, unless you live in certain parts of the country, they probably weren't Amish but rather followers of some other group.

As for you being embarrassed about your appearance, that's one reason that you might have felt like avoiding anyone at the store. But I don't see any reason to avoid Amish people. I agree that your behavior probably wasn't seen as rude, so there's no problem. I think it's very nice of you to be respectful... I'm sure there are so many others who aren't.

Answer 4

Personally, I've never heard that about the Amish. But it doesn't mean that you were being rude. By trying to make anyone's environment more comfortable in a way that seems valid to you --and not terribly abnormal to others-- is in no way rude.

If you were VERY noticably avoiding them, it could be seen as a bit bad mannered. Simply staying away out of respect doesn't seem rude to me.

You were just trying to make everyone's day a bit easier, so no worries.
Nothing impolite there.

Answer 5

to make yourself feel better , those more then likely were NOT Amish people. They were probable Mennonite .

Amish people would not be shopping at a walmart.

But not it was not rude of you. You felt that you were doing a good thing by keeping to yourself as you thought is what they would have wanted.

Answer 6

it incredibly is on occasion no longer elementary to tell the adaptation between the Amish and the Mennonites. they may be the two one. however the link under could help clarify the countless adjustments. i won't be in a position to permit you recognize for valuable no be counted if those you observed have been Mennonite or Amish. maximum probable Amish, i've got confidence. they're very conservative of their gown.

Answer 7

why were you avoiding them in the first place? they can't bring their children into a walmart and then yell at them when they look at a non-amish person. if they're willing to come into a public place in the city, they probably wouldn't be offended by seeing you. they know there are going to see people like you there. plus, wouldn't they be offended by being in a place with electric lights, air conditioning, many electronic products, etc.? it doesn't make sense.

Answer 8

I don't think you were being rude, but I think you were going out of your way too much. You shouldn't be denied the right to exist or the right to shop on a certain aisle. If they don't want to look, their eyes can move in several different directions other than yours. :)

Answer 9

I've never heard that about Amish people.

Answer 10

I guess you were being nice, I wouldn't care I would just walk by, since I live by the rule if they can be here why can't I. And you weren't dressed bad.