My Fiance and I are agrueing over which chruch to get married in. we have different religions?

Question

i want to get married in a mormon church any my fiance wants to get married in a catholic church. im really anti catholic due to personal reasons. my family wont go to a catholic church our wedding and his family wont go to a mormon church and we dont want to get married outside. what should we do?

Answer 1

These religions are very different with regards to marriage rites and guidelines. My boyfriend is Catholic and it doesn't match up with Baptist but neither he or I are all that focused on where we get married. Our parents are though and have made their points of view very clear. We don't think the religion will be a huge deal BUT we had to talk about that months ago because that was a potential stumbling block for us. As long as the kids are exposed to both religions and are allowed to choose I'm fine as is he. You two need to work this out now because it does have longterm consequences for your relationship. If we skip the church wedding we'll be looking at a few alternate venues--one being this lovely theater in Louisville. Just sit down without your families and discuss the issues.

Answer 2

For those NOT familiar with Mormon weddings, anyone can attend a civil ceremony held at a Mormon WARD. NON-MORMONS CANNOT ATTEND A WEDDING HELD IN A MORMON TEMPLE. There is a difference between a ward and temple in the Mormon church.
You cannot get married in a Catholic church unless you convert. A wedding in a Mormon WARD is possible, but NOT in a Mormon TEMPLE.
I live in Utah, I am NOT Mormon, but also NOT an active Catholic. If the 2 you insist on getting married, I would suggest you hire a Justice of the Peace, NOT get married in a Mormon WARD, and keep religion out of the ceremony. Prayers can be said by both sides, before and after the ceremony. Do NOT use a Mormon bishop to officitate, because that bring's in religion. I would suggest you have your ceremony at "Nuetral" place, such as where you are having your reception (Unless that's at a Mormon ward). I've seen, since 1981, maybe 3 weddings/receptions held between a Mormon and a Non-Mormon, that did NOT have some sort of a clash, or a guest on either side making some rude remark.
Find a nice reception hall or hotel and have the ceremony and reception at the same place.
If you are that anit-Catholic, and if he has anti-mormon views, you shouldn't be getting married. there is no respect for each other's beliefs.

Answer 3

Oh, WOW. "We don't want to get married outside" -- outside of WHAT?!? This is going to be a huge issue for you guys for the rest of your lives. How on earth did you get this far along in your relationship without sorting out the religion question?! As a presumably observant Morman, why were you dating a non-Morman, anyway? How can you be "really anti-Catholic" and be MARRYING a Catholic?!? That doesn't make ANY sense.

If he's not an observant Catholic, then he's probably insisting on a Catholic wedding due to family pressure. How observant of a Mormon are you? Are you wanting the religious significance of being sealed for all eternity through a Mormon ceremony? Or is that not an issue for you? For a non-Mormon to marry outside of the faith is a sacrifice of their beliefs on the nature of marriage within the church. If you are non-observant and simply want a temple wedding -- then you are, in a sense, mocking the church. (BTW, his family won't be ABLE to go to a Mormon ceremony, never mind "won't" -- you know that. Non-Mormons are not permitted inside the temple for the ceremony.)

There is not much room for compromise in this situation, if either of you are in the least bit observant. If you are NOT observant, then you are free to marry as you wish, possibly in a civil ceremony, and will simply have to put up with both parent's antagonism, perhaps for a long, long time. I strongly urge you both to talk together to both to a Mormon authority and a Catholic priest to discuss this issue, and perhaps clarily some of your thinking.

Answer 4

First, if you are anti-catholic, why are you marrying one? Eventually, his religion (and his families) will clash. You should think about that.

Secondly, can a Catholic get married in a Mormon Church? I sounds like neither one of you wants to convert. I'm Catholic, myself. The two religions are very different from what I understand. Unlike other Christian religions that might not clash as much, this one will.

With that said, get married by a JP. Then both families can attend.

However, you need to figure out which religion will be the dominate one in the household. What happens when you have children.

As a Catholic, I would be insulted in my Fi said, " I'm really anti-Catholic, due to personal reasons." Lots of times, like any religion, being Catholic is part of who you are. I'm Irish, therefore, Catholicism is a huge part of my heritgage. It's more then just my religion, it's part of what I am and where I came from.

With that said, does you FI have similar feelings about this religion. You need to figure that out. You could be headed for disaster.

Get this figured out or don't get married.

Answer 5

I think you should seriously question getting married -- if your religion is truly important to you (enough so to fight over the wedding venue) and incompatible, you two are setting yourselves up for a lot of difficulties in the future. Also, your kids are going to be confused about God because their parents will have conflicted messages -- sure, you've both got the Jesus part, but Catholic and Mormon are fairly different if practiced seriously -- in fact, I think a lot of Catholics view Mormonism as a cult, and it sounds like you may feel that way too.

A marriage takes more than love -- it takes honoring the core of who the other person is. I know my faith is something that cannot be separated from who I am -- and my husband had to mesh with that.

Answer 6

Time out! Have you thought about how you want to raise any future children???!!! If you can't come to an agreement on this, then you may have to re-think your marriage. Religion is a huge issue for the two of you and you need to work it out BEFORE making wedding plans. If you don't work it out, this argument will be a preview of coming attractions.

P.S. Christina has an excellent point. A friend once got married in the Mormon Church, and they wouldn't let my then husband and I attend b/c we're not Mormon. Would they even allow him IN the Church? And his family could not attend his wedding.

Answer 7

The Catholic church absolutely will not marry the two of you - unless you want to convert - which obviously you don't. Since your fiance won't marry in the Mormon church I suggest a non-denominational civil ceremony wherever you choose.

Answer 8

Since religion is a big issue for you-

First off I would suggest couples counseling (3 or 4 sessions at least) to work on religious issues and to get them out in the open.

Since the location of the wedding is causing such a big stink between your two families, and you guys have decided against a outdoor ceremony, look into:

Wedding chapels. Many are non denominational and/or non religious.

Elks Lodge/VFW halls are a good option if any member of your family is a member.

Banquet halls is another option. If they have large enough space, get married in one area of the hall, then have the reception with food and stuff in the dining hall part.

If all else fails and nobody can agree where to get married at, take your maid of honor and best man with ya to the courthouse and get married in front of a judge, then have your reception at a later time and/or date at say a catered function at a restaurant.

Answer 9

I really think you need couples counseling. Think about it, his religious values and yours. You aren't willing to completely accept him as it is, so I think marriage should be out of the question until you both work on this with a counselor. If its not working now, how do you expect it to work later on? What values and religious values are you going to teach your kids? You need to work on this now before the problem involves even more people. If hes catholic, it will be very important for him to do first communion, and you have very different beliefs as well. Sounds like you two are way ahead of yourselves. Marrying before dealing with this will almost assure you of a divorce no matter how much you love each other. You need to respect him and his beliefs as well as your own. People who really love you will come to your wedding no matter what. Bottom line, and poor excuses just won't cut it on your most important day. You both may need to sacrifice, but either way you both need to give a little. Maybe an outside wedding, or a non-demoniational convention center. You could incorporate things from both sides. There is a lot to this, I hope you get what I am saying about it. Please don't overlook it and end up in divorce court.

Answer 10

Put aside the location for the wedding for a minute. You two have SERIOUS things to discuss before you get married. With such very different religions, you have to figure out what type of life the two of you will be having. If you have children, what faith will they be raised with? What will the religion of your 'home' be? If the two of you get married in a Catholic church, you must agree to raise the children Catholic.
You two just need to TALK, most seriously.