He's not so skinny either. When we first met I didn't know what his feelings were, so I just acted normally. Then when he started to treat me differently, I was like, uh oh. He's asked me out, everything, and he's asked WHY I don't want to go out with him or be more than friends. He's cried, not understanding why I "don't even give us a chance." I can't seem to get the words "Because you're so dam n ugly!" out. (sigh) He looks like a raccoon. I'm not exaggerating.
I'm a naturally nice and polite person, I'm never rude to him or make him feel bad, so don't get mad at me. We get along great, but the worst part is... I don't like being seen with him too much for the fear of people thinking he's my boyfriend. All he speaks of me is wonders, I'm a goddess to him, in a way. He says I'm so beautiful, smart, perfect, not fake like other girls, understanding, blah blah blah.
Should I feel bad for being shallow?
2007-07-20 15:09:33 · 17 answers · asked by ♥Princess♥ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I HAVE made it perfectly clear that I don't feel the same way. He knows that I want to make it perfectly clear. I've made sure that I give him no false hope, because I've had false hope fed to me and it hurts. He knows all that, and he's even stopped talking about love with me, but he asks if in along time if he waits for me if I'll give him a chance. He really doesn't give up. We talk as friends now, but it kills me that I know what he's hiding! He hides his feelings for me because I told him to...
2007-07-20 15:24:03 · update #1
He knows I'm single because he pretty much helped me through my recent breakup. He was always there when I needed a 2nd opinion. We're both high school seniors, if that helps you guys answer...
2007-07-20 15:28:13 · update #2
Well you can't help it if you aren't attractive to him. Make it clear to him that you don't have feelings towards him but you can be friends. Don't tell him he's ugly because that is just rude. Really that is just own opinion. He might be attractive to someone else....who likes raccoons. ;)
2007-07-20 15:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by i_b_winkn_at_u 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You shouldn't feel bad about not liking him although what you said was a bit harsh. There are better ways of handling this type of situation without hurting or having to worry about hurting his feelings. You can start off by telling him the truth about how you feel because that's what FRIENDS do. Let him know that you understand and care for his feelings but, your interest doesn't exceed past the point of friendship. Let him know how you feel when he mentions having any type of personal relationship with you, but don't shoot him down. Simply tell him that that's a discussion you don't feel comfortable having with him because you know how he feels about you and you don't want him to think that you're leading him on by talking about it in the first place. Be straight up and let him know that you're absolutely not interested but you value his friendship and if he were a TRUE friend to you, he'd respect your wishes and leave it at that. If he continues to come onto you, don't blow him off, just let him know that you guys need to do your own thing for a hot second to kinda let things die down a bit. I think that would be the appropriate thing to do. Just make sure you are considerate of his feelings. Hopefully things work out for you. Good Luck! ♥B♥
2007-07-20 15:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Looks put aside- and sometimes they should be put aside if you really want a GOOD guy.
He sounds like what women would love to have.
A persons Personality can make them more attractive than you think. Or for that matter it can make them the ugliest people ever- no matter how hot he is!
Some part of you has to like him a little or you wouldnt try not to hurt him...
AND Who cares about looks anyways they're only skin deep... looks go away the person inside will always be there and gets better with age...
Later on down the road when you get married do you want a cute guy whos probably gonna cheat or a dedicated man who thinks the world of you???
Think it over maybe you should give him a chance after all...
HOPE you find the answer your looking for... : )
2007-07-20 15:21:50 · answer #3 · answered by Deidre~&~Joshua 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Well first off I do want to say be nice to him, he thinks you are wonderful. I was once like that guy with this girl back in high school I worshiped her. I mean she was, the most beautiful and sweet girl I could have ever seen. She was nice to me and I am still friends with her to this day. She did not like me because she was not attracted to me. At the time I thought she was just a mean Bi**h but looking back and knowing a lot more about relationships and love, having been truly in love once and dating various girl I do know 1 thing. You have got to have some kind of physical attraction there. I mean no you should not expect people to look like a model or be drop dead beautiful/ handsome. You do need some attraction however. He is nice to you and I don't think you are being mean, but you think he is unattractive to you, you do not, repeat not, need to say he is ugly! He likes you and you should be flattered, by that. You may want to just stay away form him for a little I mean as much as you can. The more you are around him the harder it will for him to get over you. Be nice but never overly nice. Just tell him you are not interested in him as a boyfriend and leave it at that, but you do think he is a nice person. You should feel bad for being shallow, yes, but it sounds like in this case there is more than just being shallow. Like I said you need to feel some attraction to the person, and they should be nice and sweet and kind and good to you and you them. Overall, be nice, but not to nice, stay away from him as much as you can, and maybe he will redirect his feelings to someone who will like him for being such a nice and sweet person that does see something attractive in him. I promise you this if you are mean to him, in about 5 to 10 years you will feel like sh*t for doing it. I know because I have been on both ends of that. Just be yourself and he will in time forget about you. Good luck, and don't get to caught up on looks, believe me they change over time.
2007-07-20 15:38:46 · answer #4 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, yes it is shallow, but you dont need to feel bad. If you dont think he is attractive there is nothing wrong with that. I certainly would not lie and tell him you are seeing someone else like others have mentioned. That just seems like such a chickenshit thing to do. I dont think you should just go on saying rude things about him either. Just tell him that you dont like him in that way. If he can't deal with that then that is not your problem. All you can do is be honest with him. IF he is weird and starts crying then maybe you shouldn't be friends with him anyway! :)
2007-07-20 15:22:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
In a way, yes. Just don't say mean things right at him. Reject him nicely.
2015-05-18 15:16:04 · answer #6 · answered by Cory 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt feel bad for being shallow and i dont think you really are.
If you liked him then his looks wouldnt matter, and when you met him you were yourself which meant he could have been your friend but he is being creepy now.
2007-07-20 15:35:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
nah - you're NOT shallow, because you are worried that you are shallow. it often happens that one person just doesn;t feel the same way about the other - OFTEN happens. i would just start, more and more distancing yourself from him, that's all..... no real need to be mean...
2007-07-22 10:25:58 · answer #8 · answered by Daniel F 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not. He is laying a guilt trip on you for his advantage.
Remember the basic story of evolution: Once upon a time there was a baby so ugly that not even its mother could love it, so it died. And the family disappeared because all the babies were ugly. And that is why babies are cute.
And be careful, this is the kind of person who kills when gets desperate enough ("Both of us in Heaven together" is the logic.)
2007-07-20 15:14:50 · answer #9 · answered by Mike1942f 7 · 3⤊ 4⤋
No you shouldn't feel bad. Why would you have a physical relationship with someone you're not physically attracted to? If you don't like him as more than a friend you can't force yourself to.
2007-07-20 15:13:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋