ive been abused and victimized all my life, sexually abused at 3, then again at 7, bullied throughout high?

Question

school, been assaulted in the street, had head injuries, been victimised in the street by thugs...spent 18 months in a psychiatric hospital, top security, with extreme nutters, through what i told psychiatrists to get help, not what i did..i have borderline personality disorder...ive never achieved anything with my life...never had relashionships or a girlfriend...never made any friends in life....never been employed...i have a chronic rage and anger problem that ive had for years and years, which impairs my ability to function about my daily business...i feel so much bitterness and extremely angry ive been made 'the victim' my entire life....ive been conditioned to have these problems, to think this way....
.a samaritan man tonight said, after explaining all this said ' it certainly seems like youve had it worst than most'.....
.he seemed genuinly empathetic..like he felt sorry for me...
so if i had have had it worst than others this will seperate me from the crowd wont it?

no matter what i do, ill be viewed differently to others..
seperated from the crowd....my question is, is it inevitable now..
that a timb bomb has been planted inside me, and ill eventually cave in
and explode with rage and do something stupid? become another satistic?
i dont want to..but everything ive been through is making me feel ive been
victimised on purpous...people deliberatly plotted to destroy my life...im jealous of
others happiness i see....its so unjust...so unfare...while i live out this, lonely
miserable existance waiting for therapy.....is it inevitable ill explode with rage and ruin my life?
like so many you here of that have been deeply wronged?

Answer 1

Sai Ram. Pronounced as Saayee Raam, it is a greeting, a mantra and also a blessing to you.U show the intellectual aspect of your psyche and your real need to know. Happiness is the only purpose of life,.I feel as if you are tired of life so i guess your question is how to get happiness? Search deep within and try to know who you are. Who is seeking the answer to the question? Who is that you? Find that real you behind all the layers that are heaped upon by society and its conditioning.


Believe in yourself

Be brave...but it's ok to be afraid sometimes


Study hard


Give lots of kisses


Laugh often


Don't be overly concerned with your weight, it's just a number


Always try to see the glass half full


Meet new people, even if they look different to you


Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless


Take lots of naps..


Be weird whenever you have the chance


Love your friends, no matter who they are


Don't waste food


RELAX


Take an occasional risk


Try to have a little fun each day.
...it's important


Work together as a team


Share a joke with friends


Fall in love with someone..


...and say "I love you" often


Express yourself creatively


Be conscious of your appearance


Always be up for surprises


Love someone with all of your heart


Share with friends


Watch your step


It will get better


There is always someone who loves you more than you

i found out the longer you sit there and feel bad about yourself, the longer your gonna feel depressed. You wonder why nobody cares, why nobody wants to be around you. The reason why nobody wants to be around you is because YOU ARE DEPRESSED. you bring them down when you come around. You git ti get up and fight your through it. The minute you get up and change your attitude about what's going on, the other stuff starts to change. whatever is kicking you and trying to push you down, i say kick it back. The first thing you got to do is open uo the curtains, put on some good music, take a shower, put on a good face, and open up the door and go out and see the world.Your sitting around hoping someine will fix it but, it's got to be fixed through you. You can't say "please, god help me." God is not gonnaa do anything if only try and help yourself to.Don't hold things back. Say it.Deal with that emotion

These are the same principles I go by for my own, and the same I am teaching everybody. Always look to the positive. There is a positive in every situation, even the bad ones. They are learning experiences. Look to how you handle a bad situation, and learn from how you acted, and see how you can turn the negative into a positive next time. Every situation helps us to evolve, so every situation is good. Life is not worth wasting any moment on depression. I did for far too long, and I'll never do it again! But I don't regret my past, it has made me who I am, and I have learned a great deal about life from the way
I used to be. You can overcome anything. Nothing can stop you from enjoying life.

ONLY YOU CAN STOP YOU FROM ENJOYING LIFE

Answer 2

You are not alone. I told you before I and MANY other people have the same, similar or worse experiences. I agree with the first answer about taking on the SURVIVOR role. You are a survivor. It may take some time before you can accomplish all of this. Apply this and the other advice you've been given in previous questions. A little every day. Eventually, you will improve. Unfortunitly, the world we now live in is full of these types of things. However, you can be abused or even killed in your own house. So why not live a little? Life is short, very short. It would be great if you could overcome your fears and thoughts. So that you could enjoy life. No matter where you are. If you confide yourself to your living quarters and yourself. You are going to be miserable. People need some human contact, friends and support. This has to start with YOU. Have some faith in yourself and the people in the world who are not abusive. There are many people who really do care. I may have already recommended these books to you..., Read The courage to heal A boy named it A man named Dave There is a third book to the last two. Ask someone at a library, online, or in a book store what it is. These books will help. They will show you, you are not alone. As well as, how good life can be. You can go on the rest of your life like this. Or you can do something about it. I have PTSD, BPD, Depression, Panick attacks, and co dependency. If I can do it, so CAN YOU. GL P.S. You can become that (abusive) if you don't get help and let yourself become that way. From your previous questions. You have a lot of anger. You need to learn anger management and self control. Along with positive thinking and improving your self esteem.

Answer 3

Rage. I can give you rage.
Stop it!
Do you really want to wallow in the sorrow of your past?
We all have stories to tell. Some can never tell them.
Now that you know how you got to here start to plan a new life.
Be here and now.
What do you want from life?
You are not what happened to you yesterday.
You are not the beating or the punch.
You are the person that stands before the mirror.
Be thankful that you have survived.
You are a survivor.
Smile at everyone.
Extend a hand of friendship. Even for just a moment.
You are real. Your past is just a memory.
Join a group that interests you and get out and make new friends.
All that stands between you and your future is how you choose to think.

Answer 4

Once you have been victimized, and other people know or have seen you acting with low self-esteem from your trauma, you become a prime target for abusers and other sociopaths. It is like watching a hunter with a high powered gun and scope pick off some game animal at a great distance, it's very easy for the hunter to get a kill and his prey stands no chance at all. Like shooting fish in a barrel, so to speak.

It is incredibly easy, for people who mean to do harm to those who are weak, to do so. A bully, abuser, or sociopath can spot a person with low self-esteem a mile away. Don't listen to people who assault you with fake-whining and say there are no victims in the world, there's a chance these are the same ones who hurt people habitually, and they are trying to rationalize to themselves why they can hurt others so much and still have a good life and sleep at night.

Most importantly, one should have compassion for victims, because they have to endure life-long, never-ending abuse, over and over again and it never stops for them. They will unconsciously seek out abusive relationships with other people and this cycle continues and repeats endlessly. They will be taken advantage of hundreds or even thousands of times in their life and it hurts them deeply every single time.

Not only that, but victims know when they are being taken advantage of, yet they have to sit by and literally watch themselves be hurt, feeling paralyzed and powerless to do anything to stop it.

Victims can no longer trust anyone after so many years of abuse, and become paranoid and pessimistic about the success of any future relationship. They avoid even the good things in life out of fear and feeling they do not deserve to be happy.

A victim can also be a person who has done wrong and cannot forgive themselves for what they've done, they are in fact victims of their own wrong actions. Often confused by pain, suffering, and shame, victims turn into the victimizers and the cycle continues.

Victims often become suicide statistics.

A person with low enough self-esteem can bring out the bad side in even very nice people more often than one would expect.

We live in a society that further victimizes the victims of this world, and people will capitalize on the misfortune of others mercilessly.

We live in a world where it seems God does not intervene most of the time when terrible things are happening to people. Help does not always come in time, and help does not always come.

I feel very sorry for you.

Answer 5

I didn go through what you've been through but what i did feel was being left out. Throughout primary school i never had real friends, always had to stand up for myself. But secondary school got better and the key to that is FRIENDS. What you need to do is to first take command of your life and don shape it in a way that it has been moulded of your past but mould it with the possibilities of the future. Fill your head with all the good things that have come or will come. Find friends, the kind who comforts, takses care and always make you happy and smile. Discover the YOU that you didn know. The stronger, more confident, more together YOU.

Answer 6

Not necessarily! Unless you want it to be so. You have been a victim to be sure but have you ever experienced forgiveness from and more important given forgiveness to another? It is an ecstatic experience in love to get and do so. If you can remember such instances then dwell on them, revel in them.

You say you were abused at 3 and 7 years of age. If you can remember that can you remember the love you had for and received from your mother before and after that abuse? If you can then dwell on that love, revel in that love; that is the proper way your mother should have acted and you should act.in return.

I looked up borderline personality disorder in Yahoo! web search (wikipedia) and it is a mental illness, cause unknown and prognosis not the best. But granted that you have been a victim of the witholding of love for you by others accept please that others do still love you LOOK FOR THAT LOVE. You loving them in return is their reward for that love given to you. FIND and GIVE of your love; IT IS STILL WITHIN YOU waiting to be SET FREE.

Love is the key to your recovery!

Good luck, good health, peace and LOVE!

Edit after 1 week. I notice you changed your avitar; that is a symptom of something if only that you are not sure of your ID.

Answer 7

I think it is horrible that your are being treated badly for your case. My advice is to find a safe way to take your your anger such as a punching bag, video games, weightlifting, etc. Don't let it hold you back though. Some of the best people I know have those kind of problems. You will be different, but letting that hold you back is doing yourself wrong by not giving yourself a chance in life.

Answer 8

Well, if you can't get help from somebody (professional), you must help yourself and decide for yourself what you must do to get out of the rut you're in. Have courage. All of us, we have problems too. Do something for yourself to make you think better of yourself, and stop being a door mat. Stop letting people run over you. Stand strong. Speak up. Clean up, and go ask somebody for a job. Wherever you would like to work, whatever you would like to do. Prepare yourself. Can't just sit there and brood.

Get intellectual. Lastly, this: "Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully like other people." -James Russell Lowell

Good luck!

Answer 9

Some people are just jerks and won't accept your personality, even though it isn't your fault.
Just try to control youself when you get angry. It's normal, but just be optomistic about this whole thing. Really, you are lucky things turned out this way and nothing bigger happened.
Don't worry about other people and what they say.
Just tell yourself you are who you are, though it may not be your fault.
And I'm sure there's some caring people out there who would like to be your friend.
Just make sure that you choose the right people to be your friends and I'm sure you'll do fine! =D
~~Joy

Answer 10

Sadly Coop, you're really not alone..but you have two chioices. You can either feel sorry for yourself, and stay crippled and a victim for the rest of your life, although i think it is fantastic that you are talking about it here....or, you can get mad and vent that anger where it should be, ...at them for doing it, and at yourself, for continuing to allow it...People don't know anything about you, and strangers, to say the least, know nothing at all...pull yourself up by the bootsraps, and show everyone how strong you are, and don't let anyone keep you down any more...as one said, many, many have been there...and have moved on.