I feel like an evil stepmom from disney does anybody else feel like this??

Question

I am the only one that makes my stem daughter listen, and I feel like an evil step mom. Does anybody else feel this way??

I have her 5 days a week wether her dad is home or working. on top of having my year old and being pregnant.

Answer 1

I'm assuming you have her every other weekend.

I'm assuming this is an elementary aged child.

Might I suggest:

Step out of it. Do the groceries, the laundry, go visit your mother.

Let dad and daughter have as much of that 48 hours as is possible.

If he isn't there, then, this is not your child, and she should not be there just waiting for him to show up. He picks her up, spends time with her, and he returns her to her mother. If you are doing any of this and he's at work or wherever, then you are standing in for his parental responsibilities. This plan usually does not work.

I try not to parent my partner's kids. I'll teach his daughter to drive, I'll cook dinner like I always do when his son is here....99% of the time if he's here then my partner is occupied with him. I do not tell him to wash his dishes or clean his room. That's on Dad. I parent the two I have at home, mine.

Leave the parenting to the parents. If you want to hang out with the child then have a ball when you're with her and do something fun. Parenting is for parents.

Answer 2

I was considered the evil step-monster when I was married to my ex. I didn't care because I was not going to have my step daughter acting out and ending up in jail. Well we have been divorced for almost 3 years now and she just came to live with me because she ran away from his home and he "wasn't going to put up with it anymore." Mind you this was her first time running away and since she has been in my house, done nothing but help clean, do laundry, dishes, etc. without being told. I asked her last night about why she didn't do this at her dad's house and she said that he and his g/f never showed real appreciation and when she does it at my house she can see I really do appreciate it and it is genuine! I would stick with what you know is right and not worry about what everyone else might think.

Answer 3

Yes I feel the same way. I have 3 step children and only 1 of them live with us, she is 17 and thinks she don't have to listen to me when her dad isn't here. I know it is tough bein a step parent & step kids normally don't like you but you still have to make then listen no matter what. Deep down one day they will be greatful for all you do for them.

Answer 4

I think my step children hate me number one my step daughter 17 just had a baby 3 weeks before I did and she calls us for stupid stuff. She wants money to get her hair done or to go out or if we can baby sit.

I just had a baby so baby sitting is out of the question. She wants a baby stay with him. what so she can get pregnant again for be stupid.

Then she will call us for money for her hair is she kidding get job. I already buy her baby pampers and baby things and her mom gets child support from my husband.

She thinks I won't let my husband give her extra money and it is some what true because we have to now save it for the baby because his father is not around.

But she won't call for anything else not even a hi. Some times I hate answering the phone because she is like where is my dad no hi no respect no nothing.

Then she gets mad because my step son gets alot out of me we don't pay child support for him because he is 18 with a job and on his way to college but we help with his books and we help to buy him a car but he has no kids and so the money goes to him not to help raise his kids.

Do they not understand. Oh well she can hate me all she wants .

Answer 5

I'd visit a therapist. They will interview her, of course, but they can teach you and your husband ways to discipline and guide without you having to be the policeman all the time. The little girl is testing her limits, no doubt, but she's also watching Dad to see if she really has to do what you say. Meanwhile, you need to be able to build a positive relationship with her instead of picking at her all the time. There's plenty of hope if you get a good therapist.

debbie
tx mom
Not a mental health professional

Answer 6

Do you want to be her friend or her parent cause you can't have both and being a parent isn't easy especially a step-parent, but you can allways cop out and take the friend route like 90% of society.

Answer 7

me, i am a step-mom to 5 boys and along with my 6 boys, they are all out of control, but that is about to change, and very soon. they are all fixing to hate me.

Answer 8

sounds like something unfair is in your relationship, if she actually listens to you then she may thank you for teaching her not to get into trouble, otherwise some schools have counselling that you could set up for her or they may do it theirselves.Be thankful that your husband allows you to discpline her mine wouldn't let me and his kid was awful.