How would you feel? My boss & I have a really good working relationship. He favors me, speaks up, stands up, "covers" me all when necessary & looks out & helps me when its called for & I think he respects me but one day he was playing around & threw a "shadow boxing" jab & landed it on my behind. It made me very uncomfortable but I didnt make a big deal of it. I didnt feel like going thru the "sexual harassment charge" thing, I made it clear that he not do that again & I let it go. But he did it again. This time he patted me on my behind. I confronted him SERIOUSLY & told him I felt disrespected, it was inappropriate & that I really did not want to charge him with sexual harassment & to please not do it again. He apologized but now I feel different about him. I almost dont like him now. Bcz why would he do that when he HAS TO KNOW its disrespectful & inappropriate? How would you feel if your boss did that to you? Do you think he meant no harm? I'm starting to not like him now.
2007-07-20 10:07:27 · 24 answers · asked by Lala 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you felt strong enough to confront him about it in the first place, why not have a conversation about it in private and ask him WHY he felt it was okay to do that and aslo WHY he did it in the first place. If you've had a good relationship with him in the past, it is worth clearing the air so that relationship can continue. Get it off your chest rather than let the frustration fester. Good luck. And GOOD FOR YOU for handling this they way you did.
2007-07-20 10:13:28 · answer #1 · answered by Yinzer from Sixburgh 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's been covering for you all this time in the hopes that it would lead to something else. Expect that all that is going to change.
Because he got away with the fake hit on the butt, he pushed some more. It was good that you spoke up when you did. You have every right to feel as you do. But now that you told him how you felt, you don't have to like him, but you still need to respect him AS YOUR BOSS (although maybe not as a person). If you cannot, then sadly it may be time to move in (despite him being the one that should leave). Or, if he tries it again, report him.
2007-07-20 17:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by Keep on Truckin' 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Erin I am a male and I do not know if you are seeking answers from this side however I am going to answer regardless. The fact that history repeated itself and he touched you again if very inappropriate and if it should indeed happen again then you should report it to his superior and if necessary lay a charge of sexual misconduct. You never know you may be helping the next women that he tries to do this to. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment regardless of how close you are with the individual.
2007-07-20 17:14:50 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a human resources department at your job I would go and talk to them about it. They are not allowed to tell on you for going to them, and should be able to help you with what to do next.
You warned him and he didn't listen. This type of person is only going to keep pushing to see how far you will let them go. It is only going to get worse, or he could let you go because you are not willing to tolerate his abuse.
If you work for a smaller company and he is your top boss I would start looking for another job. You don't want to be in position where you get fired for not playing along. If you truly feel uncomfortable with him now, it will not go away.
If you have another boss above him, I would go and talk to that boss. Get it on record that you are complaining about it now, so you can protect yourself in the future. The second you mention sexual harassment to a higher boss they will be obligated to investigate the problem.
Hope this helps.
2007-07-20 17:16:54 · answer #4 · answered by Amy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He likes you and was flirting with you. It was very inappropriate and made you uncomfortable. I think the first time you set him straight and you shouldn't have to explain it to him again.
For now, you confronted him he apologized and wait and see what happens. If he makes you feel uncomfortable again then you have no choice but to talk to his boss and find out the procedures in your workplace for proceeding with sexual harassment charges.
2007-07-20 17:15:40 · answer #5 · answered by Barry T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the first time might have been an accident. The second might have been a little teasing. Is there a big age differnce? How long have you known him? Just keep your distance for a week or two. I was accoussed for sexual harrassment once because I made joke about Wonder Woman's outfit.
2007-07-20 17:15:17 · answer #6 · answered by Shazam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my boss patted me on my behind after I told him not to the first time, I would feel worried that he may have the wrong impression of our friendship. He probably doesn't understand how disrespectful and inappropriate it is or how it makes you feel. It sounds to me that your boss didn't mean any harm.
2007-07-20 17:18:00 · answer #7 · answered by Linda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go with a three strikes and your out policy.
The first time was an accident. The second time clearly inappropriate and you put him in his place. I try to accept his apology and move on with caution. Try not to let your anger get the best of you.
2007-07-20 17:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this happens to a lot of people...even outside the workplace...some people don't know where to draw the line...but also with you letting him be very comfortable with you...youdid wrong...you should always remember that even when you beleive things are great you should keep your gard up specially when dealing with the other sex...because he was being so nice to you and doing thigns for you maybe he thought he could get away with touching your behind...
his actions were inappropreiate and if he does it one more time you should do something about not let it go...
2007-07-20 17:15:01 · answer #9 · answered by Gordita de Oro 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it time... if he doesnt do it again, the memory may fade from your mind and you might be okay in time... if he does it again, you need to report him.
A great relationship is a great relationship, but you dont pat coworkers behinds... if you have a great relationship with your neighbor, do they pat your behind? what about your banker? or your doctor?
You just dont do it. So you can play it cool and watch what happens. It might be okay, but if it doesnt, your reaction is totally normal.
2007-07-20 17:13:14 · answer #10 · answered by Julie S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋