Why do women fantasize about their own weddings and spend so much?

Question

It's so naive to me and so immature to spend dozens of thousands of dollars on a one day affair.. And it's funny cause the country that spends the most money on weddings is also the country with the highest number of divorces.. figures.

Answer 1

I'm spending about $9000 on my wedding, including everything....and it's not because I'm naive or immature, it's because I want to celebrate with my loved ones and friends.

Answer 2

I don't know why some women have these fantasies, nor why the 'live them out' in reality. I've NEVER been like that. Oh, maybe for 10 minutes once when I was twelve ... but faced with the choice between 'embroidering' pillowcases for my 'hope chest' (which I had gotten as a Christmas gift that year) or going bike riding, I hopped onto my bike and went out for a long ride.
Oh, I'm married now, finally, to the 'one and only one man' for me ... and we are happy, together forever and beyond ... but our wedding cost a total of $65 ... $50 for the food at our reception, and the other $15 to pay the ferry fare for the few people who wanted to attend our wedding but couldn't afford to buy their own tickets. It was a PERFECT wedding, on the ferry in the middle of the body of water, and a wonderful reception (we had been given the 'catering' of our reception by a chef friend, for whom my husband had given the same gift when that friend had gotten married).
I think that ONE of the reasons, perhaps the BIGGEST reason, is that from childhood, women are 'taught' to think about the 'wedding' and not about the MARRIAGE ... and they actually 'believe' that the BIGGER AND BETTER THE WEDDING the longer and happier the marriage will be. I KNOW that doesn't 'make any sense at all' ... but it is probably the 'main reason' your statistic is 'true' ... we spend the most on weddings, and have the highest divorce rate than any other country in the world. I hope I have given you a little 'insight' into the 'why' of that 'truth' ... but I really can't help you with your first question ... except to say 'it's the way we were taught.' THANK GOD I had sense to see 'better' than most ... but this was not my first marriage ... just THE LAST. I will be married to my husband until we are BOTH dead ... and we will be 'together' in Heaven, possibly as ONE BEING and not the 'two people' we are here.

Answer 3

In days of old, when people only got married ONCE IN A LIFETIME and there was RARELY a divorce, a wedding was a VERY BIG DEAL for the bride to be....I think the concept of BIG GLAMOROUS WEDDINGS faded over the years due TO the rapid divorce rate in this country---it's no longer as important to SOME couples to have big lavish pomp and circumstance type of weddings.. Most couples (not all) are a BIT more practicle now and opt for smaller ceremonies and using any money they WOULD have used for the wedding to either have a fabulous honeymoon OR buy their first home. That doesn't mean that ALL new brides give up their idea of a big glamorous wedding... I've photographed wedding in recent years that were small and intimate and some that seemed ALMOST as lavish as Diana and Charles' wedding...I think a couple should stay within their MEANS with regard to the size of a wedding.. in the old days (up until about the 1960's) when a couple got married, it was the responsibility of the bride to be's PARENTS to pay for the wedding... today, more and more couples are shelling out their OWN funds and are a bit more frugal when they have to spend their OWN funds on something that lasts only ONE DAY...but, as I said, this does not hold true for ALL couples...there ARE some that still opt for the huge extravagant wedding..... how big or how small a wedding is does NOT increase or decrease the divorce rate----it's the committment of the couple or the lack of committment that tends to generate how a marrige will either end or continue on.

Answer 4

Yes I dream about my wedding. I cant wait for the day I marry the man I love, my soul mate.
But just because I am looking forward to it, doesnt mean I am going to go crazy and spend a fortune. Some of us are more practicle.
Look at our parents. My mother and father had a beautiful church wedding. Her Aunt made her dress, the church ladies made the flowers for the church, for a small fee, but they were used for a wedding a few hours later as well. The reception was in the church hall and catered for by the church ladies again. And it was beautiful and everyone enjoyed it and it was normal. That was in England.
I do believe that Americans probably spend the most on weddings and have a lot more traditions, although a lot of those traditions are starting to catch on here.(Australia) Rehearsal dinners were not something done here, unless the brides mother cooked up a roast or something in her home. But the last wedding I went to they did have a rehearsal dinner after the rehearsal, tho only for the parents and the wedding party. so it is catching on.
I agree that many women do spend so much time focussing on the wedding, they forget that the married life actually begins after the wedding day. and you have to be able to afford to live after it is all over.
I know people who were depressed after their big day, because all the hype and looking forward to it was over. They felt they had nothing to look forward to any more! That is a sad way to begin a marriage.
I want a simple wedding. I just want to be married to the love of my life. I want that ring on my finger so I can be proud to be his wife and proud to know he loves and respects me enough to marry me.
Our wedding is going to be up in the mountains, at a lookout, looking out over the country to the ocean. It will be performed by a celebrant, Neither of us are affiliated with any church so I feel it would be hypocritical to marry in a church. Not to say we dont believe.....the outdoors will be our church. Our vows and promises will be personal and written by us, it will be in a gazeebo, with special family and friends in attendance...probably about 80. Some coming from Canada and the US.The only cost there will be for the celebrant, batteries for the stereo, and minimal decorations, which we will do ourself.
The reception will be at our home, and I am going to make finger food and pasta and breads with the help of my sisters.
Our wedding cake will be a white chocolate mud cake, and I just cant wait for this day! I dont know what it will cost but it will be minimal and I have a year to save for it.
I think what matters most about a wedding is the love, the promises made, and the special people there to celebrate with you.

Answer 5

I fantasized about my wedding because I love the man I am marrying and it is one of the biggest steps we will ever take in our lives together. However, I didn't fantasize about it until we were well into the relationship and knew we wanted to get married...its very annoying to be lumped into one category like that.

Its pretty stereotypical though and ignorant to think that all women spend thousands of dollars on one day. And if they can afford to do that then so what? It's not like we are asking you for the money, maybe your girlfriend thinks it's stupid that you would want to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars going to the Super Bowl or whatever you are into.

Answer 6

I think it's stupid to spend a lot of money on a wedding or reception. It can be done nicely without all of that. I would much rather invest in land and a house, than a wedding or even an expensive ring. They are both nice. However, a waste of money. It makes much more since to invest it on your future together. That said I have no intention of getting married any time soon.

Answer 7

u do have a great point
women dream about their wedding beginning around the age of 6 or sometimes earlier and theyve figured out every aspect b/c it makes them feel like a princess but money becomes a major factor that would influence the divorce but im a girl and id like to have a big fancy wedding but im realistic about it and wouldnt spend more then i would on a house lol

Answer 8

Many people see the wedding as how much they love each other. Lets say a couple get marry in a chapel in less then 10 min what comes to your mid first? Now imagine this same couple getting marry in a big wedding… sorry out of time.

Answer 9

they spend lots of money bc it is supposed be one in a lifetime event. They fantazize about the wedding day bc it is supposed to be the one true love that they are going to spend the rest of their lives together with that is important.
I myself did not do that i had no money to spend we only spent maybe thousand probably less then that on my wedding. I did not fantize about my wedding either. Actually i did not think me and husband would even get married when i dated him i did not even think we would last a week bc i really did not like him i just went out with him bc of my friends GO FIGURE. HE is the most sweetet man kindess HE IS JUST SO ASWOME. we dated for six years before getting married. we have been together for 7 years we have been married.
I think people rush into things to fast and do not really get to know who they are really marrying they rush into it just bc they think time is running out or something you they think after a few months they should know him by now but do not. Or family presures them into marriages way to soon WHO knows but the reason why they do not last as long as they do and end up in divorce is bc MOST RUN AWAY from the problems istead of staying and talking even if it takes all night to. THEY NEED TO STAY and work it out instead of running away. THEY need to execuast all the possiblities that may help them stay together and people now a days just see divorce as the most easiest way bc it is not frowned upon anymore so they do not feel it is nessary to work at their marriage which everyone should work for their marriage to work. YOU have to communicate and argue and then make up. That is a marriage you GIVE and TAKE you have to compermise too.
PEOPLE JUST SEE DEVORICE as the most easiest way out. that is ashame. i hope i did not go to far off of your question.

Answer 10

They are putting more emphasis on the day itself, then they put on the meaning of that day. A person that spends (Generally they're parents money)on a fairytale day is not living in reality. And probably doesn't give a whole lot of thought as to how it's going to be paid for , what a sacrifice it might have been. And if they expect to continue that type of spending lifestyle, how short their marriage will be.

Answer 11

Not all weddings are high cost affairs. The national average if like 10K or something. But that means 1/2 of us are spending less than that!