I have a boyfriend problem. Can you give me some advice?

Question

I know that he isnt cheating on me because we are constantly together. We had a son not too long ago and we both love him so much. My bf throws these tantrums like and just goes off which sometimes makes me cry. When i try to ask him whats wrong he just starts yelling and turning the volume up over me. His ex-wife cheated on him and done him so wrong and he thinks all woman are the same including ME. He calls me a barbie and just makes me feel so low. He has friends that i think are always in the way who he dont degrade. Help.

Answer 1

Hmmn.. perhaps it will be like this a wee bit longer...

See,,, for some people who've gone through what he has... saying that you're not like others and showing him that you're unlike the kind of person who hurt him once before are two different things..

You can try and talk to him when he's in a good mood, but it could go either way. He might get angry and start up..or he might listen and see that for the longest time, you've been a good partner to him. Another thing may be that he still has feelings for his ex, and that's a big issue, and entirely possible.

See.. the issue now is whether or not you're willing to go the extra miles to see if things can get better. If you're fed up.. then talk to him about it. Put your foot down and tell him you can't go on like this, no matter how much you feel for him. if he can't agree.. then you'll have to end this relationship.

Some of us are wired to have a bigger stomach for pain.. and some of us aren't. You have to figure out how much more of this you can take.. Once you've sorted that one out.. you should be able to discern what the next course of action should be. :) Take care of yourself. Ball's in your court.

Answer 2

Wow you two are practically something now with the kid. Kinda hard to just drop it eh? I think communication is your problem I think a conversation over dinner would help a bit. Don't use the "We need to talk." In the man's world we invision an exclamation point there and with that being said we won't want to hear it so keep it casual. Tell him how you feel. Point out instances where he's made you upset but keep a suttle tone like your face to face with a caveman because you change your tone the man ain't gonna be happy. But I mean if your constantly together then you shouldn't have any problem of ironing the wrinkles here.

Answer 3

The kid loves weed, he does not love you. Whatever feelings you have for him are not going to be reciprocated. The sooner you dump him the better. Someone who deals weed and goes to school stoned is a definite loser and will most likely just drag you down. If that's not your thing, don't associate with him. One thing is certain, he is not going to stop smoking. Will not happen. He will probably get caught, possibly arrested, suspended from school or even kicked out of school. This is not a quality human being so you should not cling to him because you have a puppy love. There will be other, much more suitable boys to come along. Having no boyfriend is better than having a shitty one.

Answer 4

Hie M. Well to me it is bad for you to have a boyfriend like that, because although he does not cheat on you and this something good for you to have him as your boyfriend. When he was yelling it is better for him to yell as much as he wants and after he yells it is better for you to let him be himself and let him to cool down first and when he is done then it is good for you to go and have a slow talk to him and from there you can get to know what is the problem. Well in his thought it could be the same like his ex-wife and maybe to him you are the same but it is good that if you have a table talk and from there he can get to know you better and more deeper and when you have that for sure he will start to think differently and he will realize that all the girls are not the same as his ex-wife and for sure too he will change his lifestyle and other things in his life too. Because when a person is so angry he will for sure he will start to loose a lot of things and when he stop the anger temper then hew will start to gain a lot and will earn a lot of stuff. Try this and hope it might help you..........................

ALL THE BEST.................................

Answer 5

You are not responsible for this man's ex's. so what if they all cheated on him. Could of been because of his behavior toward them. He seems to treat the Mother of his child like crap. You let this man know that you love him but you will not put up with an abusive man, weather it be the father of your child or what! Stand up for your self. And if he gets all nice and tries to talk his way back into your good side. Then make it very clear that you are very mad this time and you want to wait and see how he is going to act say like the next ten years! You have got to do this for you and your child. He will never get better or change. It will only get worse and he will only get more aggressive the more you become less in love with him and this will happen also since no one can love an abusive *** man! So good luck to you and stand up to him some and let him know that you love him but you will not take his abusive ways. God Bless you!

Answer 6

He has issues. I know he had to blow up like this before you'll had a child. I had a boyfriend like that too. He was always mad because he had 3 kids (none were ours together) and their momma's were hitting his check like WHOA! with child support. That's why he was always unhappy and made and taking it out on me. You need to Man up and tell him you ain't gonna take it no more. It's not good and healthy for you or your child. I don't think he's amping off like that because he doesn't trust you. What??? Does he think the baby belongs to someone else. Don't worry about his no-count friends -- they probably have issues to which is why they are his friends. None of them are Man enough to tell him he got a problem. You know what the real truth is so don't be scared and handle your business Girl. Stop crying, be strong and get happy. Step to his ***. The problem will only get worse until you step to him and let him know what it's gonna B-B. Don't have no more babies with him and if push comes to shove a real man will snatch you and your baby up. Keep your act together and put you and your baby first. He can shape up or ship out. Go to Old Navy and stay up on the fresh gear for you and the Baby and do your thing. Life is to short to live and be unhappy.

Answer 7

Well it seems that you trap-ed your bf in to being with you (having a child does that)... if he calls you a Barbie and berates you, then he has issues that you can't easyly resolve on-line.

My advice is simple - Don't expect anything from him, Don't ask him for anything and take care of your child.

It could be he is planing on leaving... He just needs a reason to go. Don't give him one
(but don't be a pushover either).

What ever happened to waiting for marrage before you two had a child???
Take care of your self and take care of your child. Your bf will do what he wants to do anyway so if he really wanted to do the right thing he would have done it already. Don't push him to do the right thing.

Good luck

Answer 8

If he can't respect his loved ones, then he's not worth the trouble. I know that a hard thing to face, but relationships is about love, respect, and commitment.
If he can't provide those things, he's not the greatest boyfriend.
It sounds like he only thinks of himself and thinks of you when it's convenient.
There's definitely an issue with him with the way he treats you.
You're never going to cure him of this issue unless you sit down and have a heart to heart.
Don't be scared to talk to him. Sure, he'll probably get mad and be defensive. But you got to do it to save your relationship.
The best thing to do is to take him to a public place, but talk to him in a quiet corner. If he blows up at you and makes a huge scene, that shows that he doesn't care enough about you or the relationship. But it shows that all he cares about at that moment is to how "he" feels and how "he" is getting attacked.
Start the conversation in a very soft, low voice. Hopefully, he'll follow suit and continue the conversation as two adults and not act like a child.
Hold your composure. If you lose your cool, he surely will.

Answer 9

All females ARE the same but i think you should leave him. It's apparent the two of you need either some counceling as a couple, or you both need to call it quits.


And it is CERTAINLY not good for your baby to be around all of this nonsense.

By the way im not taking your side OR his. Just lookin out for your KID.

Answer 10

Did you know about his problem before you decided to have a son with him??I think you should find someone that loves you and TRUST YOU..relationship that do not have trust it's difficult to maintain..How can you let him degrade you too??Don't you have any self esteem?? You should move on with your life and hopefully eventually find some one that will respect,love and trust you!