is this right?

Question

ok so i'm 16, i'm gonna turn 17 in like a month, there's this 19yr old girl who lives right across the street from me and we both kind of like eachother, so i've been thinking about dating her.

However my mom doesn't want me to, she says that shes too old for me. But here's the thing, my mom divorced a few years ago and she remarried to a guy whos 12 years older than her(shes 43, the guy is 55), that doesn't make any sense to me it seems like she is just being a hypocrite. So what should i do?

i'm not trying to marry her or have kids with her or anything, i just wanna date her and see how it works out and maybe learn a thing or two...not that i'm using her, its just most of the time high-school relationsihps don't work out.

And i know its illegal but if i just dont' tell anyone then that won't be a problem...even if my mom finds out and presses charges, i can just say that we never did anything and the girl would be safe. What i'm really asking is if my mom is doing the right thing or is she just being hypocritical

Answer 1

Age doesn't matter when bother parties are of age. Your mom is just trying to protect you. It doesn't make her a hypocrite the same rules don't apply to adults that apply to children. ; ) You only have a little longer to go before all your decisions will be your own. Just wait and for now find some hottie under 18.

Answer 2

That does not necessarily make your mother a hypocrite. Is it in fact a state law where you live that anyone under 18 is considered a minor? If so, then if you were to date this girl and eventually have sex, she could be arrested (by your mother if she found out) and then the girl would end up becoming a registered sex offender.

Regardless of what your mother does with HER life, this is not about what SHE has done. This is about you. You are still a minor and living under your mother's roof. Therefore, she is still your legal guardian and in charge of what you do and responsible for your actions.

The fact that you are trying to justify something by what your mother did with your life shows that you are still a bit immature about the grownup world.

Answer 3

That girl is too old for you right now, if you're 18 its ok. If you guys go out with each other she might get arrested because she's an adult and you're a teen. Also, your mom is an adult and the man she is with is an adult so they are safe(even though that's some age difference). Something to add, the cops can catch if your mom doesn't and they will ask your age if you don't look 19. One of my old friends almost got in trouble(he was 15 and his girl was 14), but because he looked the same age as his girl he got away and got home.

Answer 4

You are still a bit young to know about "relationships", but let me inject a few comments that may help you see better!
The friend across the street is female and older. Remember that females mature faster than males. If you need someone to guide you thru your adolescence years, she may be just what you need.
Also, I know many young couples where the girl is older than the guy, as much as 5-10 years, and they are happy.
You need to do a bit of soul searching before meeting this challenge head-on.
1)Are you ready for a lifelong commitment?
2)Are you ready to give yourself to one person? no more dating and she becomes No. 1 in your life!
3)Are you ready to meet the "work-a-day" world of wage earner for a household?
4)Are you ready to be a Father to kids, giving yourself and your time to your off-spring?
5)Do you have a financial base to draw from? Marriage won't survive long on love alone, it must have "substance", yet true love and commitment will make life worthwhile when both partners are devoted to "making it happen"!
Lastly, age is not always a factor! Older women, who find themselves on the same platform of age and knowledge with men, are much wiser than most men based on equivalent age and knowledge capability! But be careful, and remember, "compatibility" is the catch-word that makes marriage and long-term relationships worthwhile! There are two things you CANNOT make happen: 1) You cannot make God's Grace happen--it is free and all you have to do is accept it 2)The second thing you cannot "make" happen is compatability---it is God given and you know it after you have spent many hours together talking and sharing life---not sex! Without compatability, no marriage is "successful"!
May happiness be your forever!! God Bless!

Answer 5

For one thing in some states If she is 19 as you say your mom could charge her with contributing to the delinquency of a minor you say you are 16 going on 17 that makes you a minor and thewoman you want to date an adult that is illegal in any state. My Niece just got in trouble for this she was 19 the boy was 16 and his parents had her arrested. And my husbands nephew just got 7 years in Prison because he was 19 the girl was 16 and they were messing around. And if she has any alcohol in her house and you go there to drink she will go to jail. Find someonunder 18 if you want a girlfriend and your parents can't say anything. [e-mail]

Answer 6

Age differences are magnified when people are young like you are. Even though you might have an attraction, most likely you won't end up with much in common. You're 16 and have a totally different life then any 19 year old girl.

If it's really a match it can wait till after high school.

Answer 7

She's not being a hypocrit. She and the man are over 18. You are jailbait to that girl. Grow up. When you are both over 18, then date whoever you want.

Answer 8

I think your mom is realizing how it is to be married or in a relationship with someone who is older than her.

Maby she is having problems with her husband, and she is not telling you, the only way she can tell you is the way she is telling you now.

We parents come from many years of experience and we like to pass it on to our children and tell them about the mistakes we made and hope they do not do the same!!!!

Maby your mom is telling you in her own way not to make the same mistake she did.

Answer 9

Do you know for sure that this girl feels the same way?
Stay mates with her, but find someone else.