Should my 17 yr old pay keep?

Question

i wash her clothes etc she earns 4 hundred a month but her dad says she can keep it she spends her time around b/f s but only sleeps here

am not being mean but my home is not a drop in since she had that bf no one else matters

am not being mean but my home is not a drop in since she had that bf no one else matters

Answer 1

A token £50 wouldn't be out of order and it might give her an appreciation that you get nothing for nothing in life. Even if you take the money and put it in a bank account for her for use at a later date. (Don't tell her about it though).

Answer 2

Here's a simple solution. Go to the court house and ask if a marriage lic filed there. If so get a copy Its public information and the information freedom act allows you to find out. If she is married then call an attorney and ask for a consultation first ones are usually free. Ask the attorney depending how long until his daughter turns 18 it may be more cost effective just to pay the 100 a week. But if not then ask if this can be taken care of with a couple of phone calls to a judge and have the child support stoped. I know in the state of Illinois if a girl of 13 has a baby the day that baby is born the girl is considered a adult and child support can stop.

Answer 3

If youre daughter lived elsewhere she would have to pay her own way. If she booked into a hotel for a week and didnt sleep there shed still have to pay for it. Even a token amount would instill in her that now shes an adult she has to pay her way. If her dad is so against her paying, let him do the washing, change her bed, etc. Even if you save it up and give it her when she moves out/gets married, she will have learned a lesson.
(But why does she only get 400? If shes working full time then thats not even minimum wage. make sure shes not being ripped off)

Answer 4

I think she should be paying you at least a little bit she is earning money and i think she should be taught the value of money not just letting her keep it for her self because she's going to hate it when she eventually does move out and has to pay the rent,bills etc get her used to it now as for spending her time with the b/f and using your house as a dropping in is that really such a bad thing we all did that.you having a problem with it will just make her move out is that what you want?

Answer 5

its a home, not a hotel. yes she should be paying for her keep.If she is still in school it should only be a nominal amount, if she has left school then she should certainly be paying board every week.

I disagree with some of the other answers when they say wait until she is eighteen. does it mean you dont pay for your rent or other bills until everyone is 18 or more ? No, they have to be paid.. and on time.

She needs to know that life isnt free and your not doing her any favours when she finally gets her own place, she will discover that life is expensive.

Work out the following list, per year if you can do it.

rent
telephone costs
electricity
gas
television licence
rates
water
food
wash powder
wear and tear of kettle, washer, tv, video ( difficult but put a small amount on per year )

When you have worked out what it costs per year, divide it between the amount of people over school leaving age. Do remember mum and dad are two seperate people. divide the total amount by 52 ( weeks )

It will surprise even YOU how much you are paying out per year and how much it costs per week. Then suggest an amount she has to pay to mum.

I did this when I had stepkids at home and they paid without a qualm once they saw it all written down on paper, just how much a house costs to run per week and that was without car costs or clothing

Answer 6

You should treasure her while you've still got her. All too soon she'll be gone and you'll miss her.

I've got one too so I know how exasperating they can be at times. But she's on holiday with her bf at the moment and I miss her like mad.

If you don't want to do her laundry for her then don't. She's got to learn those skills for herself sometime. Isn't now as good a time as any.

£400 a month is not a lot of money. She won't be able to save anything to start her own life with if you take any from her.

Answer 7

Depends on what her goals are. If she's saving money for college, or moving out, or has some goal then maybe it's ok not to have her pay keep. This would be one way you and your husband can support her in those goals.

If she doesn't have a goal like that then, sure, it's fine to expect her to participate in the household.

Participation could be helping out with household chores, which doesn't sound like is happening, or it could be putting in some money to help out with those expenses. It could be that you put her on a reverse commission. Expect her to pay so much a month which could be offset by participating in the household. In other words, you could knock a few dollars off what she's expected to pay by doing the laundry, or dusting, or whatever. Or maybe, you let her live there for free as long as she deposits so much money every pay into a savings account.

She's 17 and needs to learn responsibility with her finances. She needs to learn to budget her money. Otherwise, she's in for a cold, hard lesson when she does move out.

Answer 8

This is what my family did. When we got out of school (high school or college) we paid monthly to live at home. Depending on our jobs...it wasn't the same for everyone of us. Some made more than others. Also some of us were better at saving then others.

My dad put that money into a savings account and when we moved out and was ready to buy our own home he gave that back to us for a down payment for our home. It was very thoughful and helpful. Kids just have a good time and throw money away. It is very hard for them to save. Helping them save is a good thing. Later on with one of my younger brothers he had him save and helped him...he went with him to the bank and had him get CD's to keep his money in and everything. To my knowledge my brother hasn't spent these as he isn't buying his own home yet. These are some ideas that will help your child later on down the road.

Good luck!

P.S. As for the housework your child needs to learn to do own laundry, dishes etc. make a chart today and have everyone take turns with household chores. It will make it a lot easier on everyone. (Let your child cook a meal once a week too. Good experience...)

Answer 9

I wasn t raised in a "western way" even if I grew up on the Continent... kidz here don't honour their parents for what they did. I remember earning money as a student and always give most of it to my parents, they put a part of aside for me but I gave it to them...I have kidz on my own now, 2 boys. When the eldest wants something I encourage to help around and get money...a few coins because he s under 10!!! Kidz learn very early values. You are a mother, be proud of what you v done and work as a team with your husband, talk, talk!!! Kidz know well where to get their ways!! why are you still doing the washing of your daughtter, she 's 17!!!!!! She should help you....take care

Answer 10

I wouldn't make her pay rent until she's over 18. Although if she lives at home and goes to college full time, I'd give her a break.

But STOP doing her laundry. She's old enough she should be doing her own laundry, keeping her room clean, keeping the bathroom she uses clean. She should be buying her own gas and paying her share of car insurance. She should be paying for her own clothes. If she isn't home at mealtimes, she should fix her own meals and clean up after herself.

I never made my son give me any of his paycheck. But he was working from the time he was 14. He was doing his own laundry and knew how to cook by the time he was 12. He has always paid for his own gas, clothes, etc. He's been taking care of himself since he was hired as a professional firefighter at 18.

Answer 11

I would say yes it doesnt matter where she is most of the time if you are doing stuff for her then she should learn to pay her own way.
When I was that age I only got £80 a week as I was in a training job and my mum made me pay keep even though it was only £10 and that wouldnt have covered it if I wasnt at home.
She did it more to teach me that not everything in life is free.