God and Satan, Dilemma?

Question

One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

Answer 1

LOL

Nice one!

Here is how it continues:

After a long life, dutifully serving his parishioners, the elderly priest died. He found himself in Heaven, where he was warmly greeted by St. Peter. "Welcome," St. Peter said, "You have lived a good life. Let me take you to your quarters, and then I'll show you around Heaven."

St. Peter took the man to a rather plain building, and escorted him to a small room. The room was humbly furnished, but was functional. The priest was a bit surprised, having expected Heaven to be a bit more extravagent, but he was happy to be there.

They then began their tour of Heaven, and it was absolutely beautiful. The priest felt silly for his initial resentment over his room.

Finally, they came upon an enormous mansion. A butler opened the door to the mansion and a man came out, dressed to the nines, and proceeded down a long walkway to the front gate, as servants rolled a red carpet before him. When he reached the gate, a chauffeured limousine pulled up, and the man got in. It drove off.

"Was that God," the priest asked, stunned by the display.

"Oh heavens no," replied St. Peter. "That was a lawyer."

"I don't want to seem ungrateful, but can you answer a question for me?" The priest continued, "I spent my entire life devoted to my parishioners, and teaching the gospel, and I have very humble quarters in Heaven. I just don't understand what that lawyer did, which would merit such a beautiful mansion."

"It isn't what he did," St. Peter replied. "You see, we have thousands upon thousands of priests up here. But he's our first lawyer."

Answer 2

God is the only writer of lifestyles. devil won't be able to create lifestyles. (he's an imitator of God, in basic terms his imitations are perverted.) God did not plan or reason the rape, it incredibly is guy's doing. that's referred to as sin. God would not reason sin. Do you suspect that a baby conceived using fact of a rape is any much less invaluable to God than different babies? Many mothers of babies who have been conceived for the period of a rape could little doubt inform you they love that youngster even with the way it replace into conceived.God additionally would not reason start defects or hermaphrodites. those issues take place using sin curse that got here into result while Adam and Eve sinned. Genetics, surroundings, drug use, nutrition ordinary, and a multitude of different components reason those start defects. All lifestyles is invaluable.

Answer 3

In ancient Jewish tradition Satan is simply an angel doing the work that God assigned to Satan to do.

The word Satan means challenger. With the idea of Satan challenging us, or tempting if you will. This description sees Satan as the angel who is the embodiment of man's challenges. This idea of Satan works closely with God as an integral part of Gods plan for us. His job is to make choosing good over evil enough of a challenge so that it becomes clear to us that there can be only one meaningful or logical choice.

Contrast this to Christianity, which sees Satan as God's opponent. In Jewish thought, the idea that there exists anything capable of setting itself up as God's opponent would be considered polytheistic or setting up the devil to be an equally powerful polarity to god or a demigod.

Oddly, proof for The Christian satan/devil mythology is supposedly found in the ancient Jewish texts that were borrowed to create the bible. One can’t help but wonder how Christians came up with such a fantastically different interpretation of Gods assistant Satan in their theology.

Other hints about Satan’s role in human relations can be seen if you look at the name Lucifer. It’s meaning in the original tongue translates as Light bearer or light bringer. Essentially the bringer of enlightenment. The temptations of the Satan idea bring all of us eventually into Gods light. Hardly the Evil entity of Christian mythology.

Love and blessings
don

Answer 4

lol lawyers go to hell

(not really, its just a joke)


there once was a truck driver who whenever he saw a lawyer he would swerve on the road and hit him, one day a priest needed a ride and the truck driver said "hop in", the priest blessed him and got on board, while they were driving the driver swerved to hit a lawyer he spotted walking but then remembered the priest was in the truck and quickly spun back onto the road, the truck driver said " i am so sorry father " then the priest said "its o.k i got him with the door"

Answer 5

You can't use God. and Satan in the same sentence

Answer 6

Ha Ha! Funny! 10!

Answer 7

Good one

Answer 8

♥ Oh, lol, I didn't get it at first until I read the answer w/ the other question... lololol, good jokes... ♥

Answer 9

Ha Ha Ha Ha Very amusing! You are so 'F' in Funny!!!

Answer 10

i'm a good lawyer because i never lose