How can I maximize my CO2 output on a limited budget?

Question

I want to make Al Gore angry. Tell me the cheapest way I can absolutely make my CO2 output as big as possible. I know I can never hope to match the amount that Al Gore produces, but I want to know how I can give him a run for his money on a shoestring budget.

Answer 1

Free hotel matches...

Answer 2

When buying electrical appliances, look for the cheapest brands and models. These are usually the least energy efficient, but it you can run them for months on the purchase price you save. Those compact fluorescent lamps are expensive, keep buying cheaper incandescent ones.

Leave the refrigerator door open as you ponder what you want for dinner. You will hardly notice the extra power it uses in your bill. To avoid wearing out light switches, leave the lights on. And the standby function on your TV does not use much power, you'll hardly notice the extra few cents every month.

Be sure to take plenty of long relaxing showers in nice hot water. Don't waste your money on low-flow shower heads.

Buying a car? Look around for a nice old model, preferably with six seats and a big old V8 motor. You might have to carry five friends around. Someday. Maybe. What some used to call land yachts are just the thing you want. You can get these in reasonable condition for a few hundred dollars. Cheap transport. These old things never need tuning up and you can drive them down to the corner store for a newspaper early in the morning, a loaf of bread before lunch and a pack of hamburger before dinner.

Laundry? Use lots of detergent and make sure the washing machine has an internal heater. Use the hottest setting for everything. Use the drier. The fact that is is a sunny warm, breezy day outside should not make you think of clothes lines and clothes flapping happily on them. What would the neighbors think if they saw your scanties drying? Ooer.

When ironing clothes, turn on the iron, wait ten minutes till it has fully warmed, then iron one item. Turn off the iron and repeat later in the day or tomorrow.

Oh, if you have central heating, you may as well keep the house temperature up a few degrees. Whoever heard of wearing a sweater inside the house?

Well that's about all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure you can find more cheap ways of maximising your CO2 emissions if you look, short of dropping matches in Californian pine forests in summer.

Happy consuming.

Answer 3

I have a similar interest but my intention is not to make Al Gore angry. It's because I own a vast garden and am in a dry country. We find that burning wood, vegetation, and sometimes coal to be very beneficial in increasing the amount of carbon in the air which helps plant life immensely. Biodegrading vegetation also is cheap and beneficial. Just imagine having more oxygen in the air? Your health will increase ten fold. Smokers lack enough oxygen richness to have proper cell functioning. It's the same with plants and CO2. So my purpose is to increase greenery which is the opposite motivation from yours.

I would even argue that the best solution... I would even argue the only solution to really take care of our carbon footprints is to increase plant life, farming, and increasing the growth of edible seaweed. That way we can take care of our world hunger needs at the same time.

Answer 4

1) Do you think Al Gore will ever find out what you do?

2) Whtever amount of CO2 you produce is greater than Gore's net contribution as he offsets all his emissions.

3) If you want CO2 then go to Mars, the ice caps are frozen CO2 and what bit of atmosphere exists is 99% carbon dioxide. The planet needs warming up.

4) If you go to Mars, Earth will be a better place. Go start packing now.

Answer 5

Not sure if you can, but I love your ideal,, If you could, I would say get as many people as you can together and go to Memphis park across from his "Mansion" or even better, if you can, circle it with every gas guzzling car you can find. None of the new things, go for the 60's and 70' when it was really good. sit, gas, turn on the a/c's roll down the windows, and party on. If you have a good stereo system, find that old song, Liar, liar, play it good and loud. A few barbecue grills using charcoal would be nice as well. Make sure NO one recycling anything you use. put it straight in the trash can. Wish you luck!!!!!!

Answer 6

Gee, with a limited budget and the price of fuel being so high you just may be in for some sticker shock.
You might try cutting down trees, hedges, flowers, etc...anything with chlorophyll takes in CO2 (which they claim is doing the harm). Pave your lawn, the loss of green plants will offset the fact that you don't have to cut grass anymore. Or you could pave the lawn and run the mower anyway.

Have fun.

Answer 7

You can't.
In the modern economy, energy=money.
And in our fossil fuel energy system, energy=CO2.
Therefore, CO2=money.

That is why even people (like me) who do not think global warming is such a big problem still try to reduce emissions. I care less about the emission of CO2 from my car than I do about the emission of money from my wallet. And I worry less about burning oil than I do about giving money to Arab governments for the privilege of burning that oil.

Answer 8

Stop eating beef. This will mean more cows, more cows mean more methane gas. Chop down a few trees, you will get some exercise, breathing out more co2. Less trees to clean out co2. Lets all do our part.

Answer 9

Hahahaha, I like the way you think. Here's some good ways:

-Start bonfires. Matches are cheap, and fires are awesome sources of CO2. Burn logs, leaves, whatever it takes to make some CO2.
-Buy an SUV, and drive it on all possible occasions, including block parties.

Answer 10

Maximize the amount of corporate farm produced meat products you eat, and if you eat lots of locally grown organic cabbage and beans you are eligible for Carbon Debits. For every pound of methane you fart out, you get a Carbon Debit of 10 pounds.

Answer 11

You're acknowledging that he is genuinly concerned about the environment? That's good, I thought the reason AGW skeptics were talking about Al Gore is because they claim he is fraud.