Moms please help! it's scary!?

Question

my lil princess is 20 months old, there's certain men she cant stand...she see's them once n a while, their family. i never leave my daughter alone with any men just my husband. my baby sister has a husband and sons...she likes them and isnt scared of them.... am i thinking to much....her private doest looked touch..please hepl..what to think....what so i do..is it a faze...? she's really attached to me!some one help!

Answer 1

Kids, no matter what age, usually attached themselves to the females more often than they do to males. I guess it's because womens tend to be a little more affectionate towards kids than mens. But if what you stated above is true: "there's certain men she can't stand", and at the same time likes other male family member, then you'll have to pay closer attention to those "certain" mens that she can't stand. Not saying that those they're doing anything wrong, but there could be numbers of reasons why she is not, or cannot be close to them. I, for instance, have a lot of toddler nieces and nephews. Some of them like me and some don't. The one who don't like me are either very picky or just plain don't like me at all. But it's not that I abuse them or do bad things to them to make 'em not like me, it's because I wear strong cologne. Some babies can't tolerate strong scent. Also I get hot easily and tend to sweat sometimes. Some babies don't like hot/sweaty people either. You'll have to consider every possible factor as to why your baby's acting the way she does, to you or anybody else. Bottom line, pay closer attention to your princess's behavior and to the people she's around with. You'll learn a lot about your baby. I've have, with my nieces and nephews. Hope this helps. : )

Answer 2

If she sees these men she's afraid of only once in a while, it might be just that they are strangers to her so she needs you around for comfort. At 20 months they dont really have much of a long term memory. My guess is she probably sees your sister's husband and kids more often.

Men are scary. They have deeper, louder voices then women and other children.. and they're like giants to a 20 month old.

Answer 3

My daughter is afraid of everyone that she doesn't know unless you actually spend time with her and make her smile she own't talk or interact in front of you. As she gets older I think its less afraid but more that she is shy. If you think theres a chance she has been touched you wouldn't see it on her private area. . .. Have you beenin a situation where your daughter was alone even just for a few min with a man that you don't trust? When I see my daughter being shy I don't think about sexualy abuse. I would only think like that if I had a reason to.

Answer 4

Keep her close to you, and keep doing what you are doing. Don't leave her with people, besides your husband. Your husband doesn't leave her with his friends when you are gone, does he? Wait until she is old enough to talk to you, and verbalize really well, before you leave her with others. Also, since you are concerned, learn about child sexual abuse, and what to look for, and how to prevent it. It's good that you love her so much to be concerned! She will grow up happy and healthy, and protected.

Also, there is a very good book called "My Body is Private", that you can read to your little girl when she is older. You should read it now, to give you ideas on what to expect of her, and her willingness or unwillingness to hug or play with certain family members. This is a book for kids, anywhere from 5 yrs. and up.

Answer 5

I would not worry about it, I worked in child care and found this very common. Men are larger and have deeper voice and are a bit scarier. Don't push her to be around this people just stay with her and say this is only so in so hes no scary, after a while she will be fine. I think its just a faze but listen to your intuition.

Answer 6

You said it! "your little princess" and i'm sure she is, but you need to help her enhance her social skills. It sounds like somewhere in all of this you may have had some bad experience(s) with men and feel too close to this thing to be objective. Take your daughter around a hairy-faced, deep voiced woman and see don't you get the same response.

Answer 7

That sad. Have you tried asking her why she's scared of the men she see's?

Maybe it is a Faze. I mean if she is only left with her Dad and she isnt scared of him then I don't see a reason why you would think she's been touched if no other man is around her.

Answer 8

many little girls are scared around men, the deep voices, loudness and hairy faces are frightening.
my daughter was even scared of her own dad for a while after she was born, she'd cry anytime he held her, but she was ok, if I was holding her and he was in the same room.
She was also scared of my father when he grew his beard in for the winter, where as she had been fine with him before the beard.

She will likely grow out of it, she's just not used to seeing them, hearing them. It will take time. Just speak to her in a calming voice when they are around, or make sure she has her blankey or what ever she may use for security, when they are around.

Answer 9

Listen to your instincts, or rather, your daughters instincts. She IS telling you something you better hear! When I was a young girl there were male kin and friends of kin around me all the time and they were trusted by all, but not all of them were trusted by me. One in paticular, my older cousin Jimmy. I couldn't put my finger on it as I was too young but I was terrified of him and never let myself be with him alone. I never knew why I just was... years later I heard through the family that he beat his wife (at the time I was young) and she left him and her kid she was so scared of him. He turned the kid against her because she left and years after that got into it with his own sister and she put a R/O agaist him and he had to take anger management courses. It never helped him. I trusted my very young instincts and they helped me avoid a lot of potentially dangerous situations and you should not hinder your daughter's feelings. Sorry this was so long but if we don't protect our kids, who will?

Answer 10

If you dont leave her alone with any of them there shouldn't be a question about it. Some babies just don't like certain people. My nephew does not like men with deep voices, so there is probably just something about that person that frightens her.