Why am I so afraid of what people think?

Question

I'm starting college in a month, and I'm afraid of what other people, including the teachers are going to think of me. They all have high expectations for me, because my mom went to that college and now works there. I started off on the wrong foot at registration with the b!tchy adviser, and now I'm worried that it's going to effect my whole 2.5 years there. But why the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS do I care about what she thinks of me? I need some advice...

Answer 1

No, no, no. You can't talk to the adviser like that. You do need to be grown-up and go apologize right away---no matter whether your mother works there or not. It's not going to effect your whole time there--especially if you go apologize IN PERSON right now.

It's normal to care SOME about what people think---but not much. As long as you are doing the right things (and I don't mean being obsessive about grades and worry) you have NOTHING to worry about. Remember, everyone else feels the same way---maybe even some as bad as you. Let go of it and enjoy college.

Answer 2

First, everybody makes mistakes. There is no shame in admitting that you made one. You may think the earth will open and swallow you if you go back and apologize, but it won't. Besides, you're not apologizing so much for her benefit as for yours.

That does NOT mean you should fake an apology. You truly do feel bad about it, and let that come through. It doesn't matter, though, whether she accepts it or not. She may want to get one more lick in before she lets it go, or she might even be hostile to you. It will definitely have a gigantically positive effect on you, though.

Once you apologize, it's behind you. You can stop worrying about it. You're not really worrying because you care too much. You're worrying because you know you were rude or abrupt or something, and you know you shouldn't have been.

Maybe the woman is a *****. That is a known possibility. Far more likely, though? She was probably having a bad day that had nothing whatever to do with you. She might have had some really bad news that morning. She might have had a headache. She might have simply screwed up herself.

None of this matters all that much. The big thing is to get it out of your head and on the table. Then you can go on with your day and your college experience.

If you really are concerned that you worry too much about what other people think, you might find some important guidance in a book called "The Language of Letting Go." Check it out of the library or leaf through it at Borders. It's worth the money and has a lot of wisdom.

Answer 3

It's normal to care about what other people think of us. Especially at your age.When you mature it won't matter so much believe me. But right now you're starting college - a new life - and you're anxious. Try to keep calm - I'm sure you;ll do well once you settle down and mix in. And don't pay any attention to the fact that your mother works there. you're a different individual with your own needs and your own talents. people will see you for yourself not your mother's daughter. And by the way you're probably not the first nor the last person who got off on the wrong foot with the adviser.

Answer 4

Right now while the iron is hot, locate the womans center. At this haven are mentors that can possibly hook u up with some womens groups. This and find an assertiveness training class immediately. I guarantee u alot of this is just u being green (new). You know alot more than you think and u need to trust your instincts and gut. It sounds like you've been living ina small world and now your thrown in with the wolves. Its only that way in your mind, you are a smart powerful, alert woman. My daughter just finished with a business degree and spanish and internet something degree and she started much like you wondering what people think all the time, I still just say who cares? Life is too short. Regular people give up the over concern for others judgement about your age so I hope u do better than my 25yr old. She is now married to a man who dictates her diet and taste buds, when she comes home she hits the chips, pop and deserts in my freezer cause she is busy cowtowing to her hubby--who now dictates no milk for her baby! I could cry a river.

Answer 5

Is it at all possible for you to go somewhere else? Seriously.
As to the question of being overly concerned about what other people think, are you a "people pleaser"? Do you try to do what you think others want you do to?
I've experienced this in my own life and only lately have learned that the only good opinion I truly need is my own. If I think well of myself, it really doesn't matter what others think. And the only way I can think good things about me is if I'm living up to my own standards.
Trying to please others at your own expense will ultimately drive you crazy. If you're doing your best, no matter what, the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS with what anyone else thinks! Including your mother, by the way.

Answer 6

You just have a lot of pressure, because your mom works there. I wouldn't worry about it, that was just one person. Focus on your grades and not your mom or anyone else, and you'll do fine. I'm sure you'll shine all 2 1/2 years. College is a great experience, you'll meet a lot of new people. You'll see, it'll be the best years of your life. Good luck, and stop worrying about everyone else. Keep your head up. There's always anxiety when starting somewhere new. Best wishes and have fun!!

Answer 7

Don't Take this Personally,
Maybe its due to the fact that you have confidence issues, if so, tell y ourself that you are a great person, and if someone doesn't like me, then thats their problem, not mine.
If you don't have self confidence issues, maybe its because you are worried you are going to let someone down?
If so, then you shouldn't be worrying about that. If people really loved you, they would be proud of what you HAVE accomplished, not what you DIDN"T accomplish.
As for everyone else, if they don't know you, then they shouldn't judge you.

WELL, I hope this helped. If not, I guess I tried. By the way,
It doesn't matter what other people think, as long as you are happy with yourself, always, always remember that.

Answer 8

The first thing you should do is talk to your mom about all this, especially the bitchy adviser.
Let her know of your fears and the pressures you
feel already and haven`t even started college yet.
If you can`t talk to her, then it will affect your years
therebecause you won`t be able to talk to anyone else who cares.
Then relax and enjoy the time off before you start
college.
Good Luck !

Answer 9

I believe it is regular human nature to care what someone thinks about you.If you're that worried I think you should go apologize to the advisor and tell her that's not how you usually are.I think that may solve your problem