so im a 17 year old gay mormon with high standards. ive never kissed anybody or been in a relationship. 3 months ago i met this 22 year old on myspace named brian and we instantly cared a lot about each other. we talk on the phone for hours and we are both crazy about each other. we realize that if we will ever be together, it will be in the far future because of the apparent reasons. to compound this, brian has a boyfriend he has been with since he was 14. brian's boyfriend has not trusted him for the last 5 years and their relationship is in need of repairment. his boyfriend is very jealous of me even though he is okay with me and brian's communication as friends... but me and brian are more than friends. i get really hurt whenever brian tells me him and his boyfriend are going out to do something together. me and brian both realize that he was a fool for telling me the way he feels about me in the midst of fixing his life with his boyfriend. i dont know what to do! ahhh!!!
2007-07-20 05:19:02 · 15 answers · asked by mapmonarch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG!!! I HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME SITUATION AS YOU. ME AND MY FIRST LOVE, WERE TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS. I WAS CHEATED ON BECAUSE I WOULD NOT HAVE SEX, SO HE WENT AND GOT IT SOME WHERE ELSE. NOT TO MENTION, STARTED TO DATE THIS BI*CH 3 DAYS AFTER WE BROKE UP!!!A**HOLE RIGHT?? WELL, HE TRIED TO GET BACK WITH ME AND I SAID NO, THINKING HE WOULD BREAK UP WITH THIS GIRL AND TRY HARDER. WELL IT NEVER HAPPEN. IN OCTOBER AFTER NOT SPEAKING FOR 5 YEARS, I SENT A MESSAGE ON MY SPACE, JUST SEEING HOW HE WAS DOING AND LEFT MY NUMBER. I GOT A PHONE CALL 3 DAYS LATER. AFTER TALKING FOR A BRIEF MINUTE, HE SHOWED UP AT MY JOB. SO WE ENDED UP HAVING "RELATIONS" FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS. TURNS OUT HE IS STILL WITH THE GIRL HE CHEATED ON ME WITH, BUT HE KEPT TELLING ME HE LOVED ME AND MISSED ME AND HE WAS UPSET THAT THINGS HAPPEN THE WAY THEY DID BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. THE POINT IM TRYING TO MAKE IS HE WILL NOT LEAVE HIS BOYFRIEND FOR YOU. IT SOUNDS HARSH, BUT IT IS TRUE! HE WANTS HIS CAKE, AND HE WANTS TO EAT IT TO! IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT. YOU WANT SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN HE DOES. YEAH, YOU GUYS MIGHT HAVE GOOD CONVERSATION, AND YOU MIGHT HAVE CONNECTED AND YOU PRABABLY GOT ATTACHED, BEING AS THOUGH YOU NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND. YOU ALWAYS WILL THINK WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPEN BETWEEN YOU TWO, OR WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER, AND HOW YOU CAN MAKE HIM HAPPY......BUT YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT IT FROM ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW. HE HAS BEEN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP FOR A LONG TIME, AND JUST BECAUSE YOU COME ALONG AND YOU GUYS CLICKED, (NOT SAYING ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU, IM SURE THERES NOT) HES NOT GOING TO THROW THAT AWAY. AND IM SURE HE REALLY LOVES HIS BOYFRIEND. PLEASE, TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE, AND KNOWS. IT WILL NEVER WORK. AND WHAT IF YOU GUYS DO MAKE IT WORK....HIS BOYFRIEND WILL NOT LET IT HAPPEN. HE WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT IS HIS, AND LETS FACE IT, RIGHT NOW HE IS HIS, AND HAS BEEN FOR A VERY LONG TIME! I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK AND I HOPE YOU CAN LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.
2007-07-20 05:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by TIFFERS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To start with, you're still legally (and in many other ways) a child and he is an adult.
Second, you don't "instantly" care about anybody unless you are childish, naive and/or immature, particularly when you aren't actually even seeing the person face to face.
Third, HE IS ATTACHED.
Fourth, if his boyfriend doesn't trust him, THERE IS PROBABLY A GOOD REASON.....and the fact that he's playing around with you PROVES HE'S WILLING TO CHEAT on anybody, including you.
Fifth, he started "dating" someone when he was 14????? What kind of immaturity are you dealing with here????
Sixth, you are having an emotional affair that has NO basis in reality. It's ONLINE, which makes it ridiculous and pathetic.
Seventh, he can't have a mature, honest relationship with someone his old age, which is why he's looking for someone your age (i.e., a child). Do you know why child molesters often chose children who are a certain age? If they like 13 year olds, it's usually because they are EMOTIONALLY and sexually 13 year olds themselves.
And PLEASE do not go around bragging that you are a "Mormon with HIGH STANDARDS"????????? You are involved with an adult, and lying to his boyfriend.....how does that equate to having high standards??????????
2007-07-20 05:27:51 · answer #2 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should continue to be his friend but don't let him tell you whats going on in his relationship he needs to work it out for himself. When they break up you'll be there when he need you. As far as his b/f being jeolous it's natural. They had problems before you met him and they need to get through whatever will happen. You just assure Brian that you are and will be ther when needed.
2007-07-20 05:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by bifemale4the2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about backing away from "Brian" for a while until he gets his relationship with his boyfriend in order...If it's meant for you to to be together you will
2007-07-20 05:23:41 · answer #4 · answered by plumprump26 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move on theres more fish in the sea. Besides that you cant trust someone on myspace people can tell you anything online. If hes involved then un-involve yourself. Haven't you ever heard the quote "If they'll do it WITH YOU they'll DO IT TO YOU" In lamones terms, he'd cheat on you too. Move on, life is to short and your waising time.
2007-07-20 05:23:56 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let go & move on. You'll only get hurt worse. It seems that he is trying to repair his relationship. Not get out of it. In case things don't work out, then he can come to you but that means you'd have to wait & see if that happens...that's something you have to decide if you can handle. If you can't handle hearing him & his bf go out, then you are right, you aren't friends & you need to back off until his relationship comes to an end & then he can contact you..
2007-07-20 05:25:11 · answer #6 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should leave brian alone! honestly, can you trust him if you two were to get into a relationship?! i mean if he can cheat on his boyfriend of 5 years, then he can do it to anyone..he seems to only care about himself and no one else! leave him alone because you deserve better
2007-07-20 05:23:44 · answer #7 · answered by yeayeayea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure brian isnt keeping you on the dirst dark side so when his boyfriends not here, he can have sexual relations with you?
doesnt sound like he'll leave this person form you- i think this is something that wont get passed a phone call- honest dont bother
2007-07-20 05:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ohhh.. man..
well for now remain friends im pretty sure he will drop the other half if you are as important to him as he says you are. Untill then remain friends..
2007-07-20 05:22:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you need to move on because you are a homewrecker if you get caught up in that drama
2007-07-20 05:38:51 · answer #10 · answered by DIXIEMS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋