does anyone know how much it hurts if you just got dumped?

Question

my girlfriend well ex now dumped me and i cant stop thinking about her. i really like her but she wont speak to me now. what should i do please comment.

Answer 1

not as much as you but yea i suppose get over it tho mate

Answer 2

Sure, rejection always hurts. But look at it from a different perspective. There are six and a half billion human beings on the planet, and we are all different in the way we think and feel. It doesn't have to mean there is something "wrong" with us if a particular person we like, just can't feel attracted to us the same way. Imagine if some girl was really keen on you, but you couldn't feel anything for her. You wouldn't think it was your fault, would you? And you wouldn't want her to try and force you to be with her.

When somebody discovers he or she has "lost that lovin' feelin", wouldn't it just be great if they could go to the other person and say "Look, I'm sorry, but I just can't keep this relationship going any more. I can't feel that way"...... and that other person would smile and give you a hug and say "Awww, look, that's OK. no hard feelings. I understand, and I really appreciate your honesty to come and explain to me. I wish you all the best, and hope perhaps we can stay friends" Boy wouldn't that be wonderful? But somehow that's just something that "the other person" usually doesn't understand, and cries and fusses and slings a fit and refuses to let go. So we try to avoid a scene by just slithering out of the relationship via the old fashioned "el dumpo".

It may be tough to do it, but try to be really mature about what has happened, and to understand that it's just a part of life, and not your fault, not her fault. If you get a chance to talk to her, try to say something like...."Hey, I want you to know I understand this. No pressure, ok? You know where to find me if you ever want to talk" I can't promise it will happen, but she might just be bowled over by this unexpected mature attitude of yours, and do a re-think. Either way, you'll find your Mz. Right.

Answer 3

Yes, I do because I was just dumped about 2 weeks ago. I'm in the same boat, buddy, trust me, keep your head up and you won't sink. You're probably in the state of where there's always something that reminds you of her, right?

Just occupy yourself. Go have fun with your friends, I had someone tell me the other night "you don't need a significant other to make you happy. You are in control of your own happiness, not them." and true, she could have done many things to make you happy so she obviously isn't that bad of a gal.

Keep your head up and keep walking forward even if you can't stop thinking about her. I know it sucks because I'm being left in the dark right now with the silent treatment as well. But I know they'll come around when they're ready. You just have to remember that too! You're still breathing, so just reassure yourself that one day things will be better. And one day those things will be your past and you'll understand that there's a reason they didn't make it to your future. Even if that reason isn't clear today.

It hurts but don't sit around and waste away. Do something fun, get your mind off of the things that make you sad. Easier said than done, I know.

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 4

I know it can hurt really badly especially your first love. My boyfriend didn't dump me as such but got his new girlfriend to do it for him (after 3 years together). It hurt really, really badly at the time and it took me a year to stop crying every time 'our song' played BUT now its years later and I am with the most wonderful guy - we have been together for 10 years and everyday I love him more, he is a 1000X times better than my ex and I'm much happier than when my relationship with the ex was at its best. I think sometimes its better than relationships end though you cannot see it at the time at all.But to answer your second question people seem to want what they can't have and the more she sees your pain the more she'll feel strong and not want you,(that's unless you did something to make her cross with you as then you'll have to talk and sort it out). People tend to want their exes back when they look happy and/or are with someone Else. Mine wanted me back so did my ohs when we were together.

Answer 5

I've only ever had one 'serious' relationship and that hardly lasted 4 months. I did the dumping, but the both of us were hurt in the process. He insisted on me giving him another chance for at least another 4 months but I refused to give in. It's not only the dumping that hurts, but the accumulation of the mistakes and the regret and also, the happiness that's going away with it.

Time is truly the best healer.

Answer 6

im sorry to hear that- unfortunatley if she doesnt want to be with you you cant make her, which is tough going. it feels like the world has collapsed around you and all you want is her.

Its a hard time to deal with - but as patronising as it sounds - most of us have been there - it hurts like hell - and you think will this ever ease up - will i ever be happy again - i couldnt ever like or love anyone ever again as much as my ex.....but eventually as the weeks turn to months and so on the pain eases - you start enjoying yourself - slowly - and then you become aware that you are having fun and you start tp see light at the end of the tunnel...

Love and relationships are like a test to everyone of us, with each hurtful breakup comes an experience that you learnt from, whether as a guard, or as a learning curve to improve the next relationship.

try and be around people - try and get out and get your social circle moving again....this will help take the edge of your hurt, if for only a few moments, but it honestly really does help - cry when you feel like crying and let it all out (even in secret), and share what you are feeling with friends. all the best

Answer 7

I know how it feels and it hurts so much. I think the best thing you can do is not call/text/email her and anytime you think about her and how good it was remind yourself that she hurt you as well. Make yourself get out there and do something everyday - whether it's a hobby, movie, just keeping yourself busy, even when you don't feel like it. It's natural to be obsessed with thoughts of her right now, but if you allow yourself to feel how you are eventually it WILL stop hurting as much and you'll be able to move forward, even if you don't feel like you want to right now. Good luck :)

Answer 8

Hey chicks......same happened to me las Sept n i was shattered absolutely heartbroken.........i felt like the bottom had dropped out of my world. Its an awful pain to hav to deal with but there's that saying, time heals all wounds and its sooooooooo true. Even tho now u mite feel like you'll never find someone else, you will and you will smile n laugh again and the sun will still come up tomorrow. Im now wit an amazing person and given time so will u. Good luck and chin up babes x x x

Answer 9

Go out with a group of friends. Circulate and try to have fun. Maybe you will meet someone to talk to and have fun with. Stay away from a serious relationship for a while. Yes it is a killer being dumped. My best advise is to keep busy. Good luck.

Answer 10

Its ok after a week or so the pain in your gut should go away. If she wont speak to you I say forget her if you did nothing wrong. She just isnt the right girl for you. The easy way to get over a break up is to find someone else.

Answer 11

This may be a good thing in disguise. It gives you an opportunity to deepen yourself and find someone/build a relationship that doesn't have the negative aspects of the relationship that just ended.

Some introspection might make your next relationship much stronger and more stable.

http://www.villanova.edu/studentlife/counselingcenter/infosheets/psych_topics.htm?page=relationship_breakup.htm