After one previous failure experience and a current one that is coming to an end now ... I decided to give up love and the weird thing is that am happy now rather being in any failure relationship. Am not willing even or aspiring to open up my heart again. Is that weird about me or that seems as deep frustration?
P.S am not the cause of these previous failures, am just needing sincere pure love while they only needed ways to abuse me indirectly. For me love is not to be bought or sold .. love grows in the heart everlasting ... Is it my right to be happy like I am now and needing no love any more?
2007-07-20 03:38:02 · 20 answers · asked by Sara007 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You go girl!!! There is nothing wrong with the independent type. I look up to women that don't need a man to "complete" them. Live it up and Have Fun!!!
2007-07-20 07:27:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me you have a weird perspective although it seems it is working for the time being.
Who said that looking for a relationship means looking for love?
It is not that you do not need love, it is that you gave up looking for a relationship at any cost. People seem surprised when they meet a single adult because to them the natural thing is that people date and have relationships. Which is great but it is not the norm, when you do not meet interesting enough people, or someone you connect with.
So, probably, you have got out of the emotional dependence syndrome and you are finally able to feel well without being with someone.
About opening your heart, I would say, that closing or opening your heart is rather a naive concept. You cannot just open your heart in the same way you cannot just close it. What are you going to do, ignore people although you feel you connect? What did it mean to you opening your heart?Give everything to someone regardless of who they were and how they treated you?
You do not open or close your heart. You have your heart connected to you, to your senses, to your mind, at all times. You do not deprive it from feeling things but you protect it from abuse. It probably feels closed down now, while it recovers its broken pieces which is fair enough. But it is not closed down. You simply gave it a break because it could not take any more so it is actually like a sleeping member of your body.
So, enjoy life and emotional freedom, recover from past mistakes and learn from them. When true love comes, it will not be because you will need it.
2007-07-20 11:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by Sonia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You finally figured out why the prior relationships did not work. You have to be happy with yourself first before you can be happy in a relationship. If you are not, you will find yourself being too needy with low self esteem. Self esteem and self love are the 2 key requirements to a good relationship.
As for not needing love; that will change the more you grow with the happiness inside of you and your heart.
Lisa B
www.itallmakesscentsinc.com
2007-07-20 10:47:12 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is wonderful! And guess what? Loving YOURSELF is still love. It sounds to me like you are taking some great steps. It is important to learn to be your own person and to be comfortable on your own. Aspiring to be proud, happy, and independent will make it easier for you to develop positive relationships in the future. It is always better to be happy on your own than in a bad relationship. In fact, nothing is worse than a bad relationship. It doesn't mean you can't be in a good one in the future, of course. Don't turn down a great guy if he comes along, but be happy with where you are at right now, and you're set for life! Congratulations and good luck!
2007-07-20 10:43:47 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the exact same way you do. I don't think its weird. I think its your body telling you that you need some time for yourself. My bf and I broke up just a few weeks ago and I haven't been this happy in years. I have my friends back and my life. I couldn't care less about having a guy in my life. I have all the love I need right now in my friendships.
2007-07-20 10:41:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel and so sorry..yet you are doing fine. Yes it is okay to feel free and happy from not having to feel the pain from ANYONE and especially men...Love will come back to your heart and when you are ready or least expect it. And when it does EMBRACE IT AGAIN, because this one could be "Mr. Right".
Power to you for letting go and enjoy your new found happiness "Free at last" from the asshole.
2007-07-20 10:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sara do not break up with the boyfriend that you have now because he loves you very much. You have to sit down with him and explain to him what happened to you and that you just want to take the relationship very slow and that when you are ready to get married to him you will let him know. He will also help you with your problem.
2007-07-20 14:08:47 · answer #7 · answered by Heidi T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're fine. You've made a very personal choice.
As time goes on, and your heart mends, you may become interested in a relationship again, but who knows?
Give it time. Enjoy your life. Take up new hobbies. Make new friends. Take trips and just live!!!
I wish you the best!!!
2007-07-20 10:41:29 · answer #8 · answered by diva_500 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
way to go sara. i did the same thing you did 3 years ago and look at me now, as happy and at peace as can be. happiness is a state of mind wether you are alone or into a relationship. it is how you make life. live it the way you wanted
to without the intervention of others. congrats to both of us.
2007-07-20 10:44:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like me a couple years ago. Your just frustrated and hurt. In time you will have the urge to fall in love again, I think its built into our dna.
2007-07-20 10:42:21 · answer #10 · answered by the_wayward1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋