when in a relationship with bipolar and the person is on a down. Do they push you away for less stress?

Question

This man says he loves me and needs me but he has become so stressed that it is hard to look me in the eye. He doesn't call and says that doesnt mean he wants it over just that he needs to be alone right now. He wouldn't kiss me goodnight the othernight and doesn't understand why that hurt but if I ever turned from his kiss good bye in the morning it would break his heart. He feels pressured to hold me or something at night. He seems to feel pressure for what he is not able to feel at the moment which he assures me always comes back on the upswing of the disease. I have never been this close to a person with this. My sister has been bipolar for 15 years but I had no idea. How do I deal with this best for both of us?

Answer 1

i know what your going through my father is bipolar and its the worst thing when you care about someone like that. this guy your with needs you no matter what he says if he won't accept your love give it to him anyway if he wont hug you give him a hug let him know its all ok be happy around him nothing is the end of the world and if you love him you will take care of him you need to make sure he knows that your fine, everything is ok and it will be ok no matter what and tell him why, its because your there for him. spend time with him just go over for a while you don't even have to do anything just sit there and watch tv with him, go for a walk with him and talk be positive and look to the bright side it will all turn out allright.

my father used to get so depressed, he used to cry for no particular reason the smallest thing would set him off but i stuck by him and was always there for him sometimes all you gotta do when there feeling bad is just give them a hug. sometimes all it will take is just sit down on the couch with him hug him and watch tv he needs to feel secure and reassured.

it will be difficult and it may take some time but if you stick by him and love him unconditionally things will settle down and he will become calmer, happier and just an all over improvement in how he thinks how he lives everyday life.

Answer 2

I have a question for you: is he regularly seeing his doctor and psychiatrist for this and getting treatment? Does he take his medication? Does he receive regular counseling and therapy? Does he call right away when things are not working right? If not, then that is your problem. People with bi-polar absolutely MUST stay in constant communication with their doctors, and MUST make sure they are following the regimen perfectly, or they will have problems. If he is not doing it, then encourage him to do so, for his sake AND yours.

If he IS doing everything he is supposed to do for the bi-polar, then it might not be the bi-polar at all. It might be HIM. Tell him how you feel and see what he says. Perhaps get some couples' counseling. Bi-polar boyfriend or not, YOU have needs, too, in this relationship. If he can't fulfill them, then you may need to move on.

Answer 3

I have the same problem, except I'm the one with bipolar. Its very difficult to understand someone with this disorder. I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. I couldn't deal with him because I needed to fix myself before getting into anymore relationships. Trust me, its very difficult to be with someone that has bipolar. I have 2 failed marriages, and about 30 broken relationships I went through. I think he's probably really stressed out, usually when that happens they just want to be left alone. Just leave it alone for about a week, he will come too.

Answer 4

being bipoalr is a nightmare, I know, I'm living it. violent mood swings go with the territory, I'm sorry to say. let me also tell you that it is a million times easier to deal with someone at the bottom of the scale, rather than someone in a "manic" state.
is your boyfriend taking his meds? they really do help, and it's important for him to be able to function. if you could try to show him that he doesn't "have" to do anything, he may just get to the point where he wants to. you will have to learn to live with the fact that his attitudes will change, and that he can be unpredictable. if you can live with that, I think you're a wonderful person.