I met this guy 5 yrs ago, we dated but I was working toward graduating college, taking care of a 4 year old and working. I felt that it was better that we didn't date seriously because I couldn't fully give him my attention. We were friends instead, still spending time together. He eventually found a girlfriend, I had no problem with this. We remained friends. Fast foward 3 yrs and he broke up with the girl and we began seeing each other. I had a surgery last August the Dr. said that I should have a baby if I had planned on having any kids. I talked it over with him and he readily agreed. I am now pregnant. He moved out of his house and into his supposed ex-girlfriends house leaving me pregnant and alone. The baby is due next week his girlfriend states that he won't be allowed to have anything to do with the baby. The girlfriend has called 2 harass me several times. I don't want drama, a child's birth should be peaceful. Should he be allowed in the delivery room?
2007-07-20 02:29:47 · 31 answers · asked by Dorothy L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes we did discuss our relationship status before we made the baby and we spoke of marriage and he was willing to be by my side.
2007-07-20 04:59:27 · update #1
You need to set some ground rules here. You sound like a lady who has it all together. Good to hear. 1st this guy needs to grow up and decide if he is going to be a father to this kid or a sperm donor. As a father he is in the delivery room and See's his child and is a part of the child's life. As a sperm donor he creates the child and then is non-exist ant. If he opts to be a father then HE needs to stop the drama with his girlfrined. She should not be calling you period. He needs to set her straight as far as the child goes. Either she can accept this or she needs to find another guy if he wants to be a dad. If he is looking to be a sperm donor then no he should not be in the delivery room and I would wish your son's father and is wacko luck and say bye bye. I would ask this question to him and since your not looking for a relationship with him I would make it a point to say that as well.
2007-07-20 02:41:04 · answer #1 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I try not to judge people. However, this gf may not last. She is being very selfish. This is his child, too. If you appreciate what he has done for you, respect him as a father and a friend. Don't hold him back from this wonderful and special occasion. Put yourself in his shoes. If he does not show. That is his choice. I would not stand in his way though. I understand not wanting the drama. However, he is the father. She has no rights or choice in this AT ALL. It sounds like she's got some real problems. Starting with insecurity. Not your problem. If she continues to bother you. Change your number and take whatever steps necessary to keep her away from you and the baby. He has rights and feelings and should not suffer because of her. I hope you really think about this. You say he was/is a friend. He did this because you wanted a baby. I don't believe this has to do with him not being there romantically. Even if it does. Your baby deserves BOTH parents.
2007-07-20 02:38:48 · answer #2 · answered by Suzie Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She cannot forbid him from being in the delivery room or having anything to do with the child. She can tell him that she doesn’t want him there, she’ll be angry if he goes, etc, but she can’t actually forbid him. If he chooses not to come/be a part of the child’s life, it will be because HE made that choice (although, he might have felt pressured into it).
Tell her to stop harassing you, or you’re going to file a police report and get a restraining order against her. And then follow through with it if the harassment continues.
2007-07-20 02:50:32 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have alot more going on here than you want to admit. You got pregnant on purpose with a man who you apparently thought was going to stick by you, and you found out just what kind of a loser he is when the going got tough. "he left me pregnant and alone".
Whatever it was that you thought you could create with this guy, don't blame it on some doctor telling you some nonsense. You already have a child you had to support alone, you didn't need another one. Damage done, and here you are in the same fix as the last time.
If he wanted to be in the delivery room, if he wanted to be a part of your life, if he really cared, some other g/f wouldn't be stopping him. He's using her as an excuse, because honey, he doesn't want to be involved.
So, get a lawyer and get the child support payments arranged now, because that's all you are going to get out of this loser.
2007-07-20 02:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The decision on whether or not he is in the delivery room and whether he has anything to do with this child is between you and him. His g/f despite her many protests has nothing to say about it. You will find out if he has any guts soon because he will either step up and take responsibility or he will let her snap a ring through his nose and lead him around for the rest of his life by it
2007-07-20 02:34:36 · answer #5 · answered by dave n 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, the girlfriend has nothing to say about it. This baby is yours and your friend's. He is the father and I assume he will want to be a part of the baby's life. It sounds like he needs to re-think his relationship with this woman if he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life bound and gagged.
If he wants to be in the delivery room and you want him there, yes he should be there. Hospital security should be put on alert to keep the girlfriend out of the building in case she decides to show up and start trouble.
2007-07-20 02:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your child, go it alone, unless you can have your mom or best friend there. There is no way you can be sure this man will be responsible for your child, give the child your last name, As a single parent you can do that. You can put his name on the birth certificate, that will help when and if you need to go to court for support. But as for now, keep him uninvolved.
2007-07-20 02:35:47 · answer #7 · answered by misskitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on whether he wants an ongoing relationship with the child. If he doesn't want a relationship with the child, then he probably shouldn't be at the birth.
Also, if he is going to be controlled by the so-called 'girlfriend', then maybe you should just let him go.
Just how strong is he?
The G/F sounds a bit psychotic
2007-07-20 02:35:14 · answer #8 · answered by Peter O 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LMAO!!! Uh, YEAH. His current girlfriend has NO SAY SO about this. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I would have laughed at her if she called to harrass me. Next time she calls, tell her you're very sorry she has so little confidence in herself and her relationship, but that he IS the father of the baby and of course he is allowed in the delivery room. I can't believe he is letting her pu*sywhip him like that.
2007-07-20 02:33:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he's any type of man. he would want to be in the delivery no matter what his girlfriend has to say. she needs to understand and admit to it that he is the father and she's in this situation with the two of you. even if she does not allow him in the delivery, there's no way she can allow him to not be the father. you sound like a good woman. do as you wish. ask yourself if you really want him there, and you'll have your answer once you find it in your heart to know if you want him there or not. good luck.
2007-07-20 02:40:00 · answer #10 · answered by Kim Loan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋