How can doctors tell somebody they have got 48 hours to live?

Question

How do they know this?

My Dad's ex was taken into hospital on Wednesday and given 48 hours to live.
She has had leukemia and everybody thought that she was doing really well and getting close to getting the all clear. She got a chest infection and was rushed into hospital. I don't know what to do. My Dad and Ann were together from my being 4 years old (I am now 28) and they split up 4 years ago. Since then, I have very rarely seen her. Her and my Dad have been on speaking terms and he goes round every Christmas for lunch with all her family (her kids (grown up now) kind of still look at my dad as their dad) and they speak each week on the phone. I went to see Ann in hospital when she was first diagnosed with Leukemia and since then I have only seen her once for her 60th birthday party. Do you think I should go to the hospital?
My dad is there at the moment but he could speak when I just rang him because he was crying. I feel quite uncomfrotable going to the hospital.

Its like I need my Dad to say to me that he wants me with him. If he said that I would leave work right away and get the bus straight to the hospital to support my Dad. The thing is my Dad is a very withdrawn kind of person and I am not sure if he would rather be left alone. I do love her in my own little way - when I was younger I never used to really appreciate her. Now I am a step mum myself I can see all the things she actually used to do for me.

I have decided to go. I don't know what to expect when I get there though. I presume although I am not sure that she will not be consious? Is that right?

Answer 1

All the very best to you. My dad is a very withdrawn quiet man but since my mum got cancer he's been a star. Still very quiet but stronger.

Just be there for him and be a presence for all those you love and care for. Your being their means so much more than what you say. In families your being together in support of each other is what matters. You all need each other and you need to be there for yourself as well as for others.

My thoughts are with you and again, all the very best wishes for the difficult times ahead.

Answer 2

At some stage in the case of terminal illness, massive organs failure will occur and major organs such as the kidneys, lungs, liver, heart will begin to fail. When that starts happening, the person will have only a short time to live - may 24hrs, but alomost certainly less than 48hrs. Of course, doctors are humans, and no one will allow very invasive exploration on a very sick person, so sometimes they have to make a judgment based on signs. These signs may sometimes be misleading, and doctors can, and do, make mistakes. I hope the last few hours for your Dad's ex will be peaceful and as pain-free as possible. I'm sure your dad will appreciate your support.

Answer 3

Tina, let me ask you a question. If you were in the hospital and had been told you have two days (and counting) to live, would you want someone you love wasting time on a forum TALKING about visiting you, or would you want them to haul @$$ to the hospital to see you?

Get a move on, girl! Put your discomfort to the side, if you love this woman (and it sounds like you do) get there to see her NOW. If you don't you'll regret it the rest of your life.

Answer 4

We were told to gather the family no less than three times when my dad was in the hospital with a massive heart attack. Each time we did, he finally succumbed. About a month later.
So, they really can't nail it down to 48 hrs.
Sorry about your step mom. It's your dad that's going to need you now.

Answer 5

My dear now is not the time for feeling uncomfortable (well thinking about it anyway) GO!!! you will not get a chance to re-play this one, there will be no saying "sorry" to her later. Your Dad needs you to there for him to cry on/talk to or what ever. Be strong, Be grown up about this. Go and see her, you won't regret it, and your Dad will be very pleased too. Good luck, be brave

Answer 6

They can't - they know when death is imminent but they can't put a time limit on it. Any doctor worth his salt will tell you that its happening but to say its definitely within 48 hours is impossible. As for going, if you want to go then go, if for your own peace of mind or to be there for her or your dad and if you don't then don't - its personal choice and no one should judge you on what you decide. My thoughts are with you though, whatever you decide xxx

Answer 7

Isn't it something to do with the rate of blood flow? I'm not too sure, but I would go and see her, even just to wish her the best of luck, but if you plan on keaving quickly at least tell her why, I'm sure she's feeling like you don't really care at the moment, so it would be good to reassure her.
Hope things are okay. x

Answer 8

From experience if you don't go you will regret it. It's very very difficult and usualy I would say do what makes you feel comfortable but I realy think you should do what you have to this time. It's an awfull situation to be put in and I wish you the very best.

Answer 9

yes most certainly go you will always regret it if you don't after all you knew her as mum for 20 years so why should you feel uncomfortable//give her a big hug and let her know you care before she goes and comfort your Dad while your there its a time i know well and its still vivid today as it was then when i lost my dear wife 8 years ago///they tell by failing BP

Answer 10

I have never in 43 years told a patient such a thing. I have told the relatives of a moribund patient the end is near.