For about 3 months or so, I've been e-mailing this girl that lives in my neighborhood. She is 14 and I am 17. Nobody but my brother and her close friends know that we like each other because we don't really want a whole bunch of people telling us that there's too big of an age difference. So far, all we ever do is e-mail and sometimes talk in public...privately. Through e-mail, we call each other cute names and such. In our religion (we go to the same church), we're not allowed to date until the age of 16. So we don't spend much time together at all.
But recently, like within this last month, I've been dating this other girl who is my same age and goes to my same school (the other girl is going to be a 9th grader in Middle School). We've gone on two dates and will soon go on a third. I'm starting to really like this "other" girl and I want to hold her hand and kiss her within the next two dates.
So is it technically cheating dating this 17 year-old girl?
2007-07-19 19:58:00 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
@ Maria: The 14 year-old is in middle school.
I said that the 17 year-old and I go to school together. We're gonna be seniors together.
2007-07-19 20:03:55 · update #1
Something I forgot to mention is that the 14 year-old does not expect me to wait for her. She says to go ahead and date, but she still wants me to "be" with her. She knows I have gone on a couple of dates with other girls while we've been e-mailing, but she knows I was not serious about the other girls. I haven't told her about this 17 year-old though.
2007-07-19 20:08:01 · update #2
Why not just be honest with both girls? Unless you've promised the 14 year old that you intend to marry her, there should be no problem. There's nothing wrong with multiple attractions at your age... it's normal.
ps... You'll be 18 within a year, the 14 year old will be 15. Could be some very serious legal problems for you if you pursue that relationship and take it to a sexual level. Just something to think about.
2007-07-19 20:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends how you look at it. You're not really dating the 14 year old girl, but you have an emotional connection. However, based on your information, it seems like you and this 17 year old girl are starting to have a good thing going. So you are going to have to decide if you're content to break it off with the 17 year old and keep talking to the 14 year old until she is 16, or stop flirting with the 14 year old and see where things go with this new girl. Because chances are the 17 year old, may see it as cheating on her, at least emotionally.
2007-07-20 03:03:23 · answer #2 · answered by cem0930 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to stop things with this 14 year old girl if you are getting serious about the 17 year old girl. It could be considered cheating with the 17 year old girl if she thinks it is just her and with the 14 year old if she thinks you two are together, cause I know I would think it was wrong,
Trust me, she will extremely upset and mad to hear that you are calling another girl sweet names and such.
You are young, nothing has to be serious right now with either but remember you are dealing with 2 girls hearts.
Good luck
2007-07-20 03:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by ckamk1995 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. I wouldn't say you're cheating on the 14 year old girl. From what you've said, you like each other, hung out as friends, and flirt. If you haven't done anything like held hands or kissed her, all it seems like is you like her.
Dating the 17 year old girl does not seem like you're cheating on the 14 year old. The first girl may not be happy, but you aren't her boyfriend.
2007-07-20 03:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by pertinential 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the first girl doesn't know about the other girl, then of course it's cheating. Either tell the first girl it's over and go for the second one, or stop listening to your stupid religious leaders and think for yourself. I guarantee there's no passage about having to wait until you're sixteen to date anywhere in that great book of fiction you guys call the bible, and three years is not a huge age gap. Just don't have sex with her... you're both too young to be having to worry about having children. There's plenty of other fun stuff you can do together. Anyway, don't string her along if you don't intend to be with her.
2007-07-20 03:09:09 · answer #5 · answered by Solarcide 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your just to sweet for words and i mean that as a complement. I don't understand, are you going to brake it off with the younger girl. You need to do something before it gets back to the 14 year old it's the right thing to do.If you do brake it off with the younger one don't tell her you been seeing someone else because at her age she will be crushed. No matter what you do one of the girl will be hurt there's no getting around that.
2007-07-20 06:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well read your letter--what does it sound like to you?? 14 is trouble if you EVER got caught--you are wasting your time and hers. Stick with your own age. You mention a church--well chuch goers know that they always have to do the right thing--so do it--don't be fooling this 14 year old....besides---you can date and whatever--you aren't married or engaged. Now be a nice guy and good luck.
2007-07-20 03:04:59 · answer #7 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do not obligate yourself to 1 person. You are too young. Do not hurt anyone in the process of having fun and flirting with another. If you are WITH someone...then stay loyal or break it off. DO not grow into a man and BE a cheater before your life gets going.
2007-07-20 03:04:06 · answer #8 · answered by Southern Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not cheating... but your going to have to choose between the two eventually. I wouldn't go with the 14 year old, myself, because shes young and you know how you can fall in puppy love when your young. Just my opinion.
2007-07-20 03:11:59 · answer #9 · answered by Katie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Techniqully no.
but i wouldnt keep it a secret from the 14yr old as she will at sum stage find out and b seriously hurt. although u arnt together she thinks there is potential so make sure she knows u are dating sum else.
GOod luck =]
2007-07-20 03:02:43 · answer #10 · answered by becstar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋