my boyfriend hates being touched. Its not just me, its his personality...he won't let his mom or sister hug him, likes to stay away from a crowd, doesn't like people in cars to sit too close, etc. The problem is, I love cuddling and kissing, its how I show love. But how can I stop, because I know he doesn;t like a lot of the physical affection. We've been together a long time and I think if I could stop it would make him even happier with me
2007-07-19 19:13:38 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I wouldn't hug my sis, either!
2007-07-19 19:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Darlin' how I see it you have three choices.
1) Change who you are and risk not being happy in the relationship.
2) Leave him and try and find someone who is as affectionate as you.
3) or take it slow with him. My Bf used to hate it when I would rub his shoulders or kiss his chest. But I started out slow... Just touch a hand on his back if he's sitting in front of you.
I know from my own experience, that if you refuse to trust the person, then you'll never allow that physical contact. maybe he just needs to know that he can trust you. That everything will be fine, and you won't break his heart.
Just try it.
2007-07-19 19:22:58 · answer #2 · answered by Vickie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Strange and completely in contradiction with one of the main inputs for a successful relation.Relationships without physical contact is not advised as it will lead to sexual frustration in the long run. And this can lead to break down of relation.
Cuddling up, hugging and kissing are the normal and significant contributors and expressions for love.If your boyfriend doesn't like the same you need not control or get rid of the habit.
It is better you say good bye to the guy who cannot give you physical warmth which is an abnormal behavior else desperation for warmth will one day ruin your relation.
2007-07-19 19:23:48 · answer #3 · answered by bnsrrinivasan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could possibly try to hold back, but you would not be very happy. You would always have the abandoned feeling. Believe me, I went though it. After 3 years, I was going crazy. I felt so touch deprived, that I had to leave my marriage. Don't end up wasting your life with someone that will never make you happy. There are plenty of good affectionate men out there. Good Luck with your decision.
2007-07-19 19:20:40 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have fibromyalgia and don't like to be toched because it hurts. But I have trained my friends where to touch that I can stand. I light hug on my left side is permissable. Never touch my back. I will slap them to the floor. My boss went running the other direction once when someone touched my back.
Point being---Maybe there is touch that is acceptable. Ask him if he is like me and something is okay. Just not everything!
I also can barely ride in a car and I can't go to concerts which I love!
My family had a hard time understanding why I wouldn't like being touched. When my skin is bright red, even the skin hurts.
My dumbass boss thinks she can touch me lightly....nooooo. I said NEVER touch me. If I feel like touching I'll let you know. Maybe he's like that!
Ask him what works for him.
2007-07-19 19:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
... but then you wouldn't be happy. How about a compromise... true love is all about compromise. What if you can cuddle with him at least for 10 minutes each day... or how about scheduling cuddle time.... like each day that has a T (t) in it is "cuddle day".. all others are "absolutely no touching" day. That's three out of four: Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. if he doesn't compromise at all, then you should seriously start thinking about finding someone, who likes to touch and cuddle, too.
2007-07-19 19:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how old you guys are. If you're around 12-15 ish , she might've stopped because she didn't want others to think you or her were a homo. Around that age everyone cares about what everybody else thinks.
2016-05-18 00:42:34 · answer #7 · answered by berta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
But why should you stop. That is what makes you happy. I am sure that is like your security, your safety net. It sound like he has some kind of wall up that he is afraid to let down. That is something major, something you should really be sitting down and talking with him about. good luck and all the best!
2007-07-19 19:22:27 · answer #8 · answered by Zoey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot change who you are. I am the same way...very cuddly and kissy. I have tried to back off with other boyfriends in the past, but it is just not me. I finally found someone who does not mind being mauled...think about it...what guy in his right mind would turn away a woman who is basically in his lap? (lol)
2007-07-19 19:16:25 · answer #9 · answered by Bee Lady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't about you stopping , it sounds like he may have a serious psychological problem like anxiety or some kind of phobia, talk to him about it, tell him being affectionate makes you feel closer to him,
2007-07-19 19:17:15 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel Green 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you guys are not compatible. I agree, you shouldn't have to change the way you are for someone. I couldn't be with someone who did not return my affection. It chips away at your sef esteem
2007-07-19 19:20:35 · answer #11 · answered by RAVEN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋