She's very disrespectful to me & hates my GUTS! She's 12 yrs. old & decides she wants to be a lesbian. But I have no problem with her sexual orientation. However, she cuts her own hair like a boy & I'm wondering if she's behaving this way because her dad molested her. It's kind of odd because she acts as if I was the one who molested her, & she is very close to her father. She becomes depressed a lot & always tries to injure or kill herself in the worst ways possible. I take her to the psychiatrist & counseling, & she doesn't wanna cooperate. She gets admitted to the psych ward @ least twice a month. Nothing is working, & I give up.
2007-07-19 18:12:23 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
There is A LOT going on and this goes way beyond Yahoo answers! I am sorry you and your daughter are going through this and your daughter had this happen to her. I can hear your frustration but I also hear that you truly want to help. You are the parent and she is 12. Don't give up on her. She is experiencing a tremendous amount of emotions over what happened to her and perhaps reflecting the blame on the wrong people. It is good that you are accepting her sexuality and I hope she knows this. It really does sound that you need to at this stage go to therapy together so that over time she can express how she is feeling and you can express how she is feeling. When a child is molested there are so many things that go on. Only extensive therapy will help her and hopefully eventually your relationship. It is most important that she gets the help she needs and fortunately she is young enough that since you are the parent you can enforce this...not force this. There is a difference. She is crying for help in the way she knows how. She is a child. I know many times even though the dad did this it is still her dad and that adds to the confusion and she could be longing for his acceptence and feeling guilty as if it were her fault although of course it was never. I do wish you both the best~
2007-07-19 18:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by Hopeful 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't give up...you're not the bad guy and she is not able to see or understand that right now... i personally think the father is still molesting her with how you describe her behavior and the fact that she's still close to him. she's a little girl who is very confused... she probably feels very guilty and ashamed for what her father has down (especially if he is continuing to do it) sometimes people who are molested get confused because in the physical sense it can "feel" good, but at the same time they are disgusted because they know it is wrong...and this leads to many different emotions...shame, anger etc...she might deep down blame you, because she somehow feels like you didn't protect her from it (not saying its your fault by any means)...i think you should go to counseling so that you have some kind of support system and outlet...please don't give up on her and tell her that too...say i dont' care how much you hate me...i love you and i'm never giving up on you....i might not understand how you're feeling, but i love you too much to let you go... unconditional love and support are a powerful thing
"when you feel like you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on" franklin roosevelt
2007-07-20 01:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would there be any benefit in her going to live with Grandma? That can get her out of dad's house, and take some pressure off of her perceived situation with you.
Somehow this girl needs to connect with knowing she is loved and people do care about her.
In answer to your question, given the behavior, it is likely that she was sexually molested by someone.
You must be worn out.
There is still the possibility of Foster Care if she is out of control........they can find the treatment center and have legal authority over her. It's a step in the caring direction. Not all kids respond well to caring parents.
2007-07-20 02:01:31 · answer #3 · answered by Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a survivor of rape and molestation she maybe acting like you're to blame because you haven't taken any action against her father so how are you protecting her??? IF he father can't protect her and you don't where does that leave her??? PARENTS are supposed to protect their children from people who want to hurt them even it its the other parent especially if it's the other parent. Also if she gets admitted to the hospital at least twice a month why are they not keeping her?? Who is getting her released??? This situation does not sound real because if she was raped by her father than it would be the doctors and hospital's responsibility to report it to the police and children's services. Why do I get the feeling that that has not happened? You haven't said anything about where her father is and if she still has contact with him. If she does than this story isn't true, because he would have been reported to the police and the judge would have given her a order of protection and he would have been forbidden to see her.
2007-07-20 04:38:00 · answer #4 · answered by Kathryn R 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you are doing everything you can do and until she is ready to talk about things or express herself appropriately your going to have a tough time. You can't force her to talk, continue addressing her mental health and possibly look into a treatment facility for her.
2007-07-20 01:20:59 · answer #5 · answered by Bob Butternut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her Dad is a molester GET HER AWAY FROM HER DAD AT ALL COSTS! Press charges, get a lawyer do what it takes, protect your daughter.
2007-07-20 02:05:02 · answer #6 · answered by frenchfrysamurai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋