That's right. Because, the previous year, when I was on probation, sitting in the back seat of a car as a captive audience, she in the front sniped at me twice, "You are not my brother", and I couldn't get my mother to pull over and just let me out..
And, if I had punched her out for saying that , while on probation, I would have had my passport revoked, she knew that, that's why she was so aggressive about it), so I played it cool, and then the following year just totally gave her wedding a miss.
Now, she has two kids, and I don't even acknowlewdge them, or any other development on her part. I just got completely off the bus, especially for her saying I was "not her brother" while I was in such a vulneranble situation. I'll get back, forever, no joke, especially if she told me she wants it that way, I admit it even here.
I don't even herknow kids, but I will have such a good time one day telling them about this, and that I don't want to know them, either, for it
2007-07-19 16:58:38 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The irony is my mother always did like her more than me, and in a crisis will choose her side over mine automatically. Also, my mom likes her kids, and is more or less replacing what she lost from me, with them... and always tells me about them, which I don't want to hear...
2007-07-19 17:01:43 · update #1
I surely hope that you are a teenage because you have a lot of growing up to do.
If you are an adult, get over yourself. Everything in life isn't about you. Do you think that maybe your sister was upset because you were on probation and the pain that you had put your Mom and family through, so she spoke out of anger.
Of course your Mom likes her kids, they are her GRANDCHILDREN!
Never try to force your hand and make a Mom chose between their kids. Especially the grands. She isn't "replacing" you, she is loving her grands.
Grow up. Get the anger out of your life. Make amends with your sister and enjoy life without so much anger.
2007-07-19 17:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Oh, man, this sounds awful. You have some terrible history that earned you probation - and now your family won't let you forget the shame you have brought to them for doing something so heinous. Can you ever forgive them for rejecting you for your crime? Probably no more than they can forgive you for committing it.
I agree your sister was a beeyatch for making sure you were in a vulnerable position and unable to escape and then wounding you TWICE with her mean remarks about disowning you.
She was a beeyatch to know that you couldn't fight back - but then again you know too that the immediate response to punch her would have proven that you are the kind of brother that no one wants to have - the kind that punches when he gets mad!
Think about it for a minute: she knew that she was safe from being punched, for once in her adult life around you, just because you were on probation. Doesn't that make you feel just the slightest bit like the bully that everyone now loves to hate?
Yes, it was horribly hurtful for her to say. One response you could have made would have been, 'I am really hurt when you say that.' But in a pinch, you want to react violently? Can that be a part of your problem - that you are the person who will punch instead of discuss?
I do sympathize that your mother and sister know how to hurt your feelings. They are mortified that you have the problems that you do and you actually get in trouble with the law because of them.
I also can see that your desire to punch her out is what got you in this trouble.
She wanted you at her wedding? Are you sure she wouldn't be nervous having you around guests and possibly drinking a bit and flying off the handle and 'punching out' somebody because that's what you wanted to do? You might see yourself in a vulnerable situation and perceive that someone unfairly attacked you - even at her wedding. Even around her kids.
You seem to want to get back at her. You seem to want to make her kids listen to your grievances. You seem to think that will change the balance and tip it in your favor somehow. As if some grievance would be redressed.
Think about how you do make it hard for other people to appreciate you. You do use violence or the threat of violence to deal with people - that is not going to win loyalty, affection, or acceptance, unless you think the world is like one great big prison yard.
Your mother talks all the time about your sister's kids because she loves her grandchildren. She would love any grandchildren, that's the way grandmothers tend to be.
2007-07-27 02:21:43 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are burning bridges left and right. Bridges you may want to replace in the future. It may not feel like it right now but there will come a time when you will want the contact with your family. As for telling her kids anything about their mother when they are older, if she has done her job as a parent, they won't be talking to strangers. Although you may be their uncle, you are a stranger to them so they won't be listening. You need to ease up and forgive things that were said in the heat of anger, that's what stopping you from having a relationship with your sister. It's not her, it's you and the grudge you are holding on to. But you've already made up your mind which is really sad, you and her kids are missing out on what could be a wonderful relationship.
2007-07-20 00:08:59 · answer #3 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you are handling the situation very well. If my brother missed my wedding I would be really sad! And why aren't you getting to know your nieces and nephews? If you are mad @ your sister that's fine but don't take it out on them! I think the best thing to do is to apoligize. Maybe your sister only said that to you because you hurt her by being put on probation. I know it would hurt me if my brother did something to be put on probation because I would be dissapointed in him. So maybe she just said all that out of anger. I'm sure if you talked to her then you will be able to work everything out. And saying all that to her kids and saying you don't want to know them 4 it is the dumbest thing ever! I am not trying to hurt your feelings but why would you blame them for your sister's actions?! After reading all the questions you ask that come to my inbox it sounds like you need therapy. I understand you are hurt from your sister but sometimes siblings say things that they don't mean- I have done that to my brother but I still care about him! I think the best thing 2 do is talk it out with her and maybe go see a therapist. I hope I am not hurting your feelings... I am just trying to help! I hope everything works out 4 you! =)
2007-07-20 00:26:07 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm glad you aren't my brother either. Ok so you get in trouble to the point of probation(I'll bet that wasn't your fault either), and you take offense at your sister who has had to put up with all your immature, self centered bs?
What makes you think it is anything but a relief to her that you aren't around in her life to mess it up? She sure doesn't want her kids to emulate their criminal uncle.
Do her a favor and take your bad self some place else. And those kids won't have anything to do with you, except to feel sorry for you.
Grow up, apologize to your family for causing them pain, be a man.
2007-07-20 00:14:27 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can't blame your sister's children for how she treated you. I know that my mother, my aunt and my uncle are on rocky terms because my aunt did some sneaky **** with my grandparents will and is telling lies about my parents. My uncle has to play the mutual party but you can tell he isn't because we dont talk anymore. It hurts losing touch with family.
I know your sister is being a ***** (if you don't mind me saying) but you have got to be the bigger person.
2007-07-25 18:16:08 · answer #6 · answered by Kendra P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was bridesmaid for my sister years ago but when it come to me getting married we had tooo many issues for me to return the favor ... altho i dont have any thing to do with her our kids are close and im sorry you cant accept her kids as unique and get to know them.. u will be the one missing out not them... whose the adult here babe???
2007-07-20 02:44:22 · answer #7 · answered by jo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know that all families have problems, but this can be worked out, everyone just has to TRY ! have you ever heard of parents trying to murder their own children? NOW THAT'S A REAL PROBLEM TO OVERCOME !!! oh by the way........ i was one of those children !!!
2007-07-26 23:53:15 · answer #8 · answered by cherokee squaw 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have some issues there. if you can get over the past it would be good. then you should try to patch up your differences with your family. you only get one family you know.
2007-07-27 05:22:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what was the question again?
but yes i see where you're coming from. Its better to be close to her but I guess now its too late!!
2007-07-20 00:04:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋