step dad hit me!?

Question

im 16 ,last night i was hanging out with some friends and i guess i forgot to call because i came home late around 2 and the lights were still on and i thiught that,that was kindof weird and when i got in he was there yelling at me and when he was done i was piised and said what do u have to say and i said well you can goto hell! he slapped me across the face and pulled me upto my room andbelted me 10 times and i actuallyteared a bit. how do i deal with him, what would you have done if you were him

Answer 1

I support him. He's trying to help you and you're rebelling.

Answer 2

Well you may not like my answer but here goes... I think he was probally right to slap you across the face. Now I don't believe in beating kids but your 16, you told him to go to hell so obviously your big enough to handle a slap. I don't believe he should of belted you 10 times.The slap was an instant reaction to the disrespect what was the belting for? Coming home late? Your 16 I think a little restriction would of been a better punishment. Just because he handled this maybe the wrong way doesn't mean he's a monster. He must care about you alot or believe me he wouldn't have been up waiting for you, he was probally worried out of his mind.Your lucky you have a step-parent that cares. Some step-parents or even parents wouldn't lose any sleep wondering where their kid is and that's a fact. It sounds like he cares alot maybe you could apologize for coming home late and the disrespect and let him know how you feel about him belting you. I'm sure the 2 of you could come to an understanding. It sounds like he only wants what's best for you. good luck

Answer 3

I am very sorry to hear about your being physically abused. It is not right for your stepfather to have hit you. If anything, your mother should be the one to talk to you about your coming home late.
It is also not a good thing for you to be hanging around until 2am. That is not a healthy time to be about. Your action probably caused your mother to be worried and perhaps your stepfather was angry with you for that. Even so, there's never an excuse for physical violence.
If i were you, i would apologise to your mother first and tell her how you feel about being hit by another man that is not your dad. Then make an effort not to hangout so late. Friends are important. Good friends will encourage you to be better, support you when you are troubled. Bad friends just make a lot of noise, even make fun of you and they never get ahead in life. So choose your friends carefully. Next, if ever any adult should hit you - that is abuse. You can make a report at the police station for physical abuse and they can take steps to prevent it from happening again.
If i were your stepdad, my concern would be the reason for your hanging out so late. Is it because you don't find home to be a happy or nurturing place?
I suggest you try and join some youth activities offered by community centres and stay off friends that hangout till 2am.
Remember that freedom is not about doing anything you feel like doing which can even sometimes get you into trouble. Freedom is the responsibility to choose for yourself what is good and wholesome for you. To be free, you need to have economic independence. So work towards that for yourself. The sooner you are able to be independent and be able to take care of your own needs, nobody will want to interfer with your life.
I hope this helps.

Answer 4

If you are 16 come home at your curfew - 2 a.m. is too late. Also, never tell anyone to go to hell. No one has the right to do that. When you talk that way to someone you're going to get a reaction.

I can understand him slapping you across the face for that, but I don't think it's right. However, beating you 10 times with a belt is unexcusable. I would suggest going to a counselor and or your clergy to get advice. Get pictures taken of where you were cut. Also, tell your mother!

In the meantime, watch your curfew and your mouth - with everyone--that could save you a lot of trouble.

Answer 5

wow, youre asking the wrong question, the question you should be asking is one to yourself, what would YOU have done if you were him? this is probably hard for you to understand because youre only sixteen and no matter what anyones tells you, you probably think you were not in the wrong and what you did wasnt deserving of a slap and the ten belts. even if you dont get it now, you will in a couple or maybe even several years from now or at least i hope you will get it someday. though your step dad probably shouldve handled it a little bit differently, the point is he cared enough to stay up and waited on you. while you were out with your friends having a good ole time, your step dad was at home worrying about you and worrying why its almost two and you havent called. he probably sat there thinking of all the possible bad scenarios that couldve happened to you and there you are, safe and sound, laughing and giggling with your pals. so there you are and you look at the time and omg...ITS LATE!!!! so what do you do when you finally walk through the door? instead of apologizing to him, explaining your carelessness, begging him for forgiveness, thanking him for caring and worrying about you, you went off on him. tsk tsk...and if that wasnt enough, to top it off, now youre on here trying to find justification for your selfishness....CMON!!!!try to put yourself in his shoes, if you were him and you were sitting around all night wondering why youre not home yet and there he is walking in without an explaination and telling you "go to hell", how would YOU react? think about that and go apologize to your step father....and thank the powers above for giving you a person that cares enough to do all that...

Answer 6

Does this always happen or is it first time? does he have anger issues? Is your Mom around? This isnt good, you need to talk to someone...is your mom someone you can talk to? do you have siblings? If this was a first time thing, maybe talking with him? but worry about your safety if he hits...even though you are 16 you are a child and that is abuse...the thing is don't allow it to happen anymore. Talk to someone you can trust to help you ...IF your mom wont listen then talk to someone who will...If you have to, find a number for the hotlines for abused women...they can help you in the area you are at. And don't fall into the trap so many abusers get you in of that its your fault he hit you. Its NEVER ok to hit. Hope this helps hon...Good luck.. and if i was him I would have talked about why you came in late and not calling...maybe if you were overdue I may have been a bit upset but may have done grounding or curfew or maybe even said lets go to bed now and we will discuss this when we are not tired and figure how we can prevent this next time...after all at 16 you are not a little kid, and need to show repsonsibility...

Answer 7

He shouldn't have slapped you or belted you, but you shouldn't have told him to go to hell. Two o'clock in the morning, is way to late for a 16 year old to be out.

My kids had to be in by 10pm during the week and 12am on weekends. School time or summer didn't matter.

When the curfew time hit, the doors were dead-bolted. They spent a couple nights sleeping in their cars.

Those that didn't make curfew, traded 3 days in house arrest for each night they were late.

If they were late too many times or smart mouthed my wife or myself they lost major privileges. We paid for their car insurance, so if they acted up, we told them we'd pull the insurance for the business quarter.

Our oldest girl got real mouthy with my wife, when she was in 11th grade and wouldn't shut up. When the insurance bill came up a couple months later, we wouldn't pay and she couldn't pay. Her insurance was very high due to an accident. She could pay for insurance but then she couldn't pay for gas and maintenance.

The car was parked in the garage for a little over 3 months. That really sucked for her, because she had to beg rides to work all that time.

She learned a good lesson and she was a great sacrifical lamb for the other daughter, to see what happens, if you didn't follow rules.

Answer 8

I had alot of problems with my dad growing up and im sure everyone did. I came home late one night like you did and i think i was the same age and all the lights were on and my dad was waiting for me on the couch. He started yelling at me and telling me i wasnt going to graduate and this and that. He hit me and I used to think he was the worst person ever. But now that I look at it if it wasnt for him I would of ended up a drop out and a druggie like the rest of my old friends. Im so glad my dad was strict on me because it made me what I am today. I know exactly how you feel but if i were you I would think about the situation and follow your parents rules. Think about they pay the bills and you live in their house. Your step dad cares about you and just wants the best for you. You will thank him when you older trust everyone does. But hang in there parents these days are old school and they dont see things the way teens see things these days. Listen to your step-dad he loves and cares about you I promise.

Answer 9

Sometimes parents have to use tough love. Do you usually get along with him? Has he hit you before? This is a delicate situation and I don't know what kind of relationship you and he has. He should not have hit you in the face. I can understand him using a belt (on the behind). There are so many things that can happen to young people (so many bad people out there). Maybe he was so upset because he was afraid something bad had happened to you.

Answer 10

The key word here is step dad,I'm not saying the brat wasn't out of line and needs to be corrected,but theres limitaions for a step parent,and it looks like theres allready bad feelings,which may be part of the problem,where the hell was the Mom,she should of at least been there,got a lot of tough people here ready to knock a kid around,let some guy come in your house thats not a maternal parent knock your kids around,if you let them maybe child services need to get involved.!!!

Answer 11

Tell your mother that if he ever touches you again, you will call the cops. You are too old to be physically punished that way, if he does it again, call 911.

In the mean time, don't talk back to your parents, its disrespectful and you were in the wrong. A 16yr old has no business being out until 2am, what in the world are you thinking?

I wouldn't have hit you, but you can bet that you would have spent the rest of the summer grounded, no friends, no phone, no tv and no computer and cleaning every inch of the house. With a toothbrush.