Here is one for you. My daughter comes to me & wants me to pick up her friend from work & take the two of them back to the friends house so my daughter can spend the night with the friend. We pull into the parking lot & I pull in right up front to pick up the friend from her work. I wait..wait some more...I tell my daughter to get out and go get her friend..my daughter refuses. I give her two chances to get out of the car & go get her friend. I see no reason why I should have to wait. I start to leave, my daughter is shocked that I am actually doing this. I ask her again as I continue to drive home...my daughter says..let me call her..so she gets out her cell phone & calls...her friend doesn't answer. I ask my daughter again..are you going to get out of the car? She says that I have no patience. I told her it was rediculous that she wouldnt get out of the car & get her friend.There is NO reason I should have to wait My daughter has done this many times. I drove home. Your thoughts?
2007-07-19 16:31:54 · 19 answers · asked by Steph 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is my fault for letting this happen in the past. She tends to be shy. But no way to get around this if she doesnt start doing things for herself. You should have all been there the time I made her get her own money out of an ATM machine. You would have thought I killed her or something :)
2007-07-19 16:48:55 · update #1
Her friends parents ended up coming and getting my daughter. I told my daugher that if she did this again, she would not be going anyplace! I also made her appologize. She is a really good kid 99.9% of the time. Sometimes it is tough to step it up when they are bratty.
2007-07-19 16:50:22 · update #2
You did the right thing. You were going out of your way for her and she didn't want to do anything to help herself with her plans. It probably is because you have done it for her in the past but there is never a bad time to correct a wrong way. If she is that shy you needed to give her that little push! Good job. Next time she asks you to do that make sure before you agree to ask her if it comes down to the same thing is she going to do her part. If not don't do it for her. All teens are hard!
2007-07-19 17:19:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I understand both sides. I was a teenager not long ago and now I am a mom. There was a reason that she would not get out. It may not be a big deal but there is a reason. Maybe sit down and talk to her about what happened and you need her to talk to you so that you understand where she is coming from. I also know that I would be a little impatient as well. I have other things that I should be doing and I can not wait for a long time. Next time tell her to call the friend and tell her that you are leaving and you will wait for 5 minutes unless she comes outside and lets you know that she is not done or will be right back. There is always room for more communication in a mother/daughter relationship.
2007-07-19 23:40:11 · answer #2 · answered by Vera H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes your teenage daughter is being difficult! Good for you that you drove home. Remember, YOU'RE the mom, the one in charge, (and the one with the car!). Next time she asks you to pick up the friend, set the rules: only if she does chores A, B and /or C, and then only if she contacted the friend FIRST to let her know that she will be coming before you leave to get her. And tell her before you leave, that if you wait more than one-two minutes and the friend's not out, then she will have to go in and get her, or you will leave, no ifs and or buts about it. And only do this IF it works on your time and schedule. Be consistent; don't cave in one time and then try to regulate the next. If it doesn't work with your schedule, don't feel guilty, teenage daughters tend to work this angle pretty well.
2007-07-19 23:43:58 · answer #3 · answered by J k 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is why your daughter has done it (many times) because you let her.
You need to tell her "no". Let her friends mother pick her up next time.
Believe me I know what you are going through.
I have a 17 yr old that behaved and listened better when she was 5 than she does now.
But just like they were toddlers, and we had to set the rules.
And if they didn't listen , they got punished.
Well same thing still goes.
Except I find it's harder now because now she thinks she has the "right" to not follow the rules.
Well I had to show her that she has "no right" not to listen to the rules.
And has to pay the consequences for her own actions.
I actually had to PUNISH my 17 yr old last night for the first time in a long time.
Just to prove a point to her:
I'M THE BOSS, NOT HER !!!!
She didn't take it too well.
But let me tell you, she's a whole different person today.
Even did the dishes for me (without having to be told).
I guess it's true when they say:
We teach people how to treat us.
They only treat us the way we ALLOW them to treat us ;)
2007-07-19 23:42:11 · answer #4 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Similar thing happened with my friend. She got home from work and had to take her teenage sister and sister's boyfriend home. She's already spent the ENTIRE day at work, been out for dinner and just wants to go to bed. Her then sister spends 15 minutes kissing and saying good night with impatient big sister in the car wanting to go home.
Bottom line is teenagers don't realize how much parents go out of their way to help their children. They don't get that they are spending time out of their already busy day to help them. Remind her you're not a chauffeur and were courteous enough to go out of your way and help her, that the least she could do is show the same common courteousy and not leave her waiting. Your a mother with more important things to do then be waiting in a car waisting petrol. Next time she wants you to pick her up, question her if you're going to be treated like a taxi driver, when she asks what you mean tell her 'if i'm going to be forced to drive you around and wait for you that makes me a taxi driver so i should get paid.' Teens don't like spending money like that... should hopefully get the point across.
2007-07-19 23:49:55 · answer #5 · answered by Ramma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first time that my daughter would say "no" to getting out of the car and get her friend, I would have left. No if's and or but's about it.
Obviously your daughter did not want to spend the night that bad to not go get her friend. With her doing this so many times, I probably would tell her that I would not go play chauffeur for her friends any longer, because of her laziness and disrespect.
2007-07-19 23:40:15 · answer #6 · answered by LyndasCa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. How disrespectful is that when you know someone is coming to get you and you don't show. What blatant disrespect for your time! Your doing your daughters friend a favor and she wants to be "fashionably late?" Hell she'd be walkin if it were me driving!
2007-07-19 23:38:14 · answer #7 · answered by ♥§weetiepie♥ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter disobeyed you... and I'm curious why she wouldn't get her friend since she wanted to spend time with the friend. It sounds like you have some discipline issues with your daughter. I think you'll know how to handle those appropriately.
2007-07-19 23:37:10 · answer #8 · answered by drshorty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to you Steph; you did the right thing. Maybe your daughter will think twice before she makes you wait like that again.
2007-07-20 01:20:16 · answer #9 · answered by Kizmetkitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have left too. It is not your responsibility to pick the friend up from work. Where is her parents? They should shuttle her back and forth to work and you can shuttle your kid back and forth to her house if you see fit.
2007-07-19 23:41:39 · answer #10 · answered by bigred 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋