where he does not want to hang with his dad much anymore and im having a hard time dealing with it. he is my only child and i have had to fight to spend time with him since his mother and i divorced. i knew this day would come but it still hurts alot. how do I deal with this
2007-07-19 16:29:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i know exactly what you are going through my friend. i also am divorced and had to fight to be able to spend time with them.
my kids have also reached that age and your right.
it hurts.
all i can say is be there for them and let them know that there is nothing taboo that they can come to you with.
it will take time but our fathers also went through this and managed to survive and we will too.
i sometimes take my kids and their friends camping and fishing. i taught many of them how to water ski and we go out boating alot.
try involving their friends in your plans and see if that works.
2007-07-20 05:59:16 · answer #1 · answered by bgdadyp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother is going to go through this soon, it's happening slowly but surely. He is a firm believer, as I am, that it's not quantity..it's quality. He enjoys the time his son spends with him (3.5 days out of every week) by doing things his son likes to do, including his inviting his friends over and hanging out with them without his dad being around. Just knowing he's there is good for my brother. He just lets his son know that whenever he needs him, he will be there. And there will come a time when it will come full circle, he'll enjoy hanging around the "old man" again. Good luck.
2007-07-19 23:35:09 · answer #2 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really feel qualified to answer this question, since I gave my son up shortly before his fifth birthday...due to unavoidable circumstances. However, I do want to say, that I think several of the answers you got on this question are correct. I do believe that this is just a phase, and if you just give him his space now....even though it will be hard!...and make sure to let him know that you will always be there for him when he needs you, all will be well, and the two of you will come out the other side, with a far stronger and deeper relationship than ever before!
2007-07-20 08:32:17 · answer #3 · answered by LadyZania 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give him his time and space and always let him know that you're there for him. It's just another phase and that time will come again when he's gonna want you close to him again. Right now he has a need to spread out his wings and fly alone for a while. It's nothing personal. Don't push yourself on him. It will only prolong what is happening now. Give him time. H'ell come around. When I was a teen, I thought my parents were soooo lame. Now I can't get enough of them!
2007-07-19 23:34:02 · answer #4 · answered by ♥§weetiepie♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will come around in a few years. I know how bad that sounds but it is true. You will just have to let go until then. Try and stay busy. Or call him or when you do see him try to talk to him about the whole thing. You have to let him find his way. Stay involved enough to know he isn't getting into trouble. You may have to do more communication with the ex-wife.
2007-07-20 00:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are going to adjust the type of activities you do with him to his age. Before you might have taken him to the zoo or a playground, now you should start taking him to ballgames, fishing trips, camping, and see what things he is interested in them and try and get into them yourself so you can have not only a talking point but some kind of mutual activity you can engage in.
2007-07-19 23:32:05 · answer #6 · answered by Ryan M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take some time and sit down with him and say, "son, i know that u may think, hanging around with me aint so 'cool' anymore but, i think we really need sometime together.we dont have to spend every minute together, but daily. we can go fishing on the weekends or do things u wanna do. remember that im always here for you."
hope it works out!
2007-07-19 23:35:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot force your son to want to spend time with you. Perhaps you could sit down with him and tell him the same things you have just expressed here -- that you love him and would like to spend time with him. Perhaps you could also invite him to do some activities with you that he would find interesting. These will differ depending on his interests.
2007-07-19 23:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how old is he.....why don't you try doing things with him.....that interest him.
go hiking
to a ball game
pep rally
movies
theme parks
..............he'll appreciate you more as he gets older, don't push, but don't give up either:-)
2007-07-19 23:36:50 · answer #9 · answered by WHOISTHEPUPPETMASTER? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋