i'm dating someone, but she doesnt want to be my girlfriend, what can i do to get her to be my girlfriend?

Question

first of all, we've been seeing each other for 2 years, she has 2 daughters, who love me, but she won't commit. she says she is too busy, which she is. One time she wanted too, but i didnt want too, because i was upset at her about 1 1/2 years ago months ago, now she doesnt want to be my girlfriend, though we still go out, talk everyday, have sex, spend time with family. I just cannot get her to say yes. she has been telling me she doesnt know if she is ready. What can i do? Last week i was hinting at it and she keeps bringing back, how i denied her and was indifferent at her when she wanted it, but come on, how long can a girl hold something over you. But she tells me she feels like she can't anymore ever since i pushed her away back then. But i've been very nice to her treated her daughters so good. My strategy since last week is to flatter her and compliment her, tell her how i feel, a lot of mushy stuff tell her she is beatiful and she is sexy. girls will taht work? any advice

she calls me everyday tells me about her kids, about her day, etc. everything. about how the doctor appt went, i go to her family parties, we are practically bf and gf, but she doesnt want the title, whats up with that or to be pressure like she is tied, i guess now.

Answer 1

If she hasn't put forth any real effort to built a real relationship and/or life with you by now, she is not going to.

Some people (like an older sister of mine) prefer to have a guy or two (or more for my sister) to date, but do not want to commit because he/she is still looking for something better. Something better may never come, but the possibility of it is motivating her to stay single.

I hate to see a truly good person getting strung along. I have a younger brother whose girlfriend of 8 yrs finally told him she really would prefer to stay single in case ....... (he is such a sweetie, has a great job, wants a family, etc.) You may want to cut your losses (emotional and otherwise), accept that this is the most that she wants, and stop putting yourself through the turmoil of chasing her. It isn't worth trying to force something to work when the other person doesn't feel the same way. There will be someone else out there who would love to spend her life with you, and she will be worth the wait.

Best of everything!

Answer 2

Let me tell you something right off it sounds like to me that you are too nice to her. It also seems like she just sees you as a friend with benifits. She doesnt want someone she can walk all over she wants someone with mystery, someone who can suprise her everyday with something new. Look if you really love her and want to be with her I say give her some time. Stop seeing her so much stop calling her. Then she will wonder well why isnt he calling me, why hasnt he came to see me? It might sound weird but try it it might get her attention to let her know that your foreal and you want to be with her. This might not be the best idea but it always worked for me.

Answer 3

If you keep asking she'll hold back more. Let her be. There is no way she will commit if she's not ready. Give her some time to think about it without nagging her. Saying those compliments will make her feel good, but like I said before. If she's not ready, she's not ready and if you really feel like you want to commit to her, don't make her do something she's not ready for.

Answer 4

this already sounds like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to me.

is she dating other men though?

people handle rejection in different ways. if she has shut down, there is really nothing you can do.

all that extra stuff since last week is a waste of time. besides strategy is business term, not a relationship term.

the only advice i can think of at this point would be to ask her to marry you.

Answer 5

My "friend" and i have been talking for over a year. i completly love him and don't want to be with any other guy.

But he is not my bf. i refuse to call him that. only bc i've had bad experiences in my life with bfs and have the habbit of hateing them.

but its just a title. things would be no different.

stop pushing her. sounds like things are going pretty well

be happy

Answer 6

Another way of phrasing this question would be: "How can I force someone to do something they don't want to do?" Personally, I think it would be inappropriate to try to force her or manipulate her into being your girlfriend. If you truly care about her, you wouldn't want to do that. I'd say you shouldn't have sex until you are married... that might help to clear up some confusion for both of you.

Answer 7

well if she doesnt want to be ur gf there isnt much you can do unless you pull off something reallly great. but she sounds very independant and maybe you should back off just a bit bc too much mushy gushy stuff will just make her feel smothered.
good luck! :)

Answer 8

you need to tell her that there is no one else in this world that will never make me happy the way you do i love you and only you if you cant see that then your missing out on having a good partner that knows that will be there for you and your daughters i would do nothing to hurt you or your daughters please lets make this official and lets be together hope you get your girl

Answer 9

She is a mom. give her the respect to be able to make her decisions. I am a single mom. I really don't want to commit to anyone but my children. It is hard. If you don't respect that, she should get a restraining order on you. So you should respect her wishes please.

Answer 10

if your still getting some than whats the problem maybe she waiting for something better to come along.