16. What goes into making a wise decision about becoming sexually active?

Answer 1

A lot of soul searching. How long is your relationship going to last? Do you want to give yourself to that person? Your first time only happens once, and you're not going to forget it. Can you see yourself regretting it when you're 20? 30? 40? 80?

Are you equipped to deal with potential consequences? What if you end up with a pregancy? Are you okay with your stance on abortion? Could you deal with being a parent? Could you really deal with the emotional minefield that comes from either possibility (the answer is no, by the way...)?

Would the other person still love you if you could never have sex, or never have sex again? Are you feeling any kind of pressure at all? Are you doing it because you love the other person and you want to make both of you happy, or because on some level you think you're not a real man/woman if you don't?

You have to think over those questions for a long time, and it somehow changes you. It's not easy to explain, but somehow, everything's different.

Also, if you do decide to become active or think you might be at some point down the road, each of you needs to get a box of spermicidal condoms and hide them somewhere in your room, and the girl needs to go on the pill. Sex IS designed to result in pregnancy, and you need to take all precautions to avoid it. While abstinence is the only 100% effective form, used correctly birth control is nearly as good.

Answer 2

The first thing you need to give thought to is whether you are willing to face the possibility of parenthood- an unplanned pregnancy will have an effect on you, even if you chose to terminate it. Are you willing to risk exposure to all the various sexually transmitted diseases? No matter how careful you think you have been, those two things will always remain possible outcomes. Finally, you need to carefully consider the reasons you have for wanting to become sexually active. If you are doing it to please somebody else, you should definitely wait. If you are doing it to keep from feeling like the last virgin on earth, you should wait. If you are doing it to keep the boyfriend, then you should wait. You also need to consider that virginity is a gift you give to somebody special, and it can only be given once. If you give it away as casually as a kiss, to somebody who recieves it as casually, then the experience will leave you feeling used and soiled. Animals have sex to procreate. Humans are capable of actually making love, and there is a distinct difference. If you do not completely understand that difference, then perhaps it is not time for you yet. Anyone can bump uglies together, it takes a special relationship between two people to make love. It's highly doubtful any boy of your age has matured to the point where he is capable of sharing in that kind of relationship, and most girls haven't either, honestly. So while you can certainly have sex, until you are at the point and your partner are at the point to understand the implications and accept all the possible consequences, and are willing to live with them all, you should not become sexually active.

Answer 3

In addition to considering the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, you should seriously ask yourself if you are ready to give up the next 18 years of your life to raise a child and forego your own life. No birthcontrol method is perfect, so the possibility of getting pregnant is always there, even from the first time. Then think about why you are considering it. You didn't say how old you are, but if you are thinking this is the way to be popular, it isn't. Oh, it might make you popular, but not necessarily with the people you want. A lot depends on your age and the reason.

Answer 4

Are you ready for the responsibility of a baby? Can you handle contracting a deadly STD such as AIDS? If you start now, what will you tell your future spouse about how many sex partners you've had? Do you love the person you want to have sex with? I think its a sacred thing and should only be shared with a person you really love and trust. So many teenagers these days just start having sex b/c its cool or something. Where are people's morals these days? When you're ready, you'll know. Take some time and wait til you find that definite moment.

Answer 5

Think about if you will regret it later. Can you talk to your boyfriend about what would happen if you got pregnant? If not then your not ready. You have to be ready for all the possible problems that may happen and if your not then you might want to reconsider becomming sexually active. Are you with someone you love? Will you look back on the relationship and wish you had waited for a future boyfriend or husband you might have? What if he leaves or cheats on you?

I'm not trying to be mean with these questions, but unfortunately in reality it is something that can happen and needs to be considered. Keep in mind you and your opinions will do alot of changing in the next couple of years, and other people's opinions of you (including boyfriends) will be affected by the fact that you become sexually active. This is something you will also have to deal with, not everyone's opinion on this will be one that you want to hear but they will tell it to you anyway.

Answer 6

I think you should decide if you are responsible enough to deal with the consequences of sex. Even with protection there is a chance of pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. Are you emotionally and financially mature enough to deal with a pregnancy or a disease? Sex is a beautiful thing when it is shared with someone who you love and are committed to. Even with this love and commitment there can be emotional pain when you become sexually active and then the relationship falls apart. Be responsible about the choices that you make. Make a visit to planned parenthood or the health department. They are non-judgmental and the services are free. Finally, what are your personal or religious beliefs about sex? Follow what you think is right, don't get pressured into sex if you not in the right relationship.

Answer 7

I would advise waiting, I had sex at age 17 and I now feel that I was too young, but you're going to do what you want to do. Make sure that whoever you are with treats you very well and is not pressuring you or threatening you in any way. You should feel very safe and comfortable around this person and should feel like your morals line up with one another to help prevent either person from feeling guilty about anything you deide to do together.

If you do decide to have sex, please use protection. It's really easy to get caught up in the moment, but it's really scary to think you might be pregnant and not know for sure.

Answer 8

Sex is something really special. It is sharing the body and soul with someone that you feel you really are connected to. If you undervalue it and start just to have it for the sake of nothing, you will make a huge mistake. Even though your body is ready to be sexually active at age 16, your emotions and feelings are not. You might get traumatized by that. You have plenty of time ahead of you. Please just wait a couple of more years, like until you are 20. By then just share it with someone who you really love. You won't regret it. I promise you.

Answer 9

Unfortunately, there is no wisdom in a 16-year-old deciding to become sexually active. You simply give no thought to the possible consequences of your actions, and (trust me) you don't "love" the person you're contemplating having sex with.

Plus, boys will say ANYTHING to get into your pants at that age. Sad truth, but that's how it goes.

Control your flaming loins!!!

Answer 10

Why is this being asked in a mental section...because sex can cause depression sometimes. There is lots to learn about both mental illness and sexual development. If your group is doing it you are safe from depression because it is being directed by those who know. If it is on your own then you will learn the hard way. If you are not in the restricted circle there is no one to help you.