Do people that don't wait to have sex before marriage, really envious of those who do?

Question

I mean, we're the ones doing the right things in the eyes of God, right?

I have asked questions about remembering the good old days when people waited for marriage to have sex. Half the answers were from those who are waiting, the other half were from angry people that thought it was an outdated idea.

I gots to thinking, maybe people that have slept with alot of people, are jealous of those of us who are waiting, or people that waited until marriage. I mean, we have a better chance of starting a life with someone without the baggage that (like it or not) having alot of ex-lovers or children born out of wedlock bring into a marriage. We have the chance of sharing a closeness they can't have.
Am i right?

Answer 1

Why wait until you're locked in to a life-long commitment with someone to find out that you're sexually incompatible? No wonder the divorce rate is so high. The major reason? Cheating spouses.

What, exactly, is there to be jealous about? To me, God's just as fictional as the Cookie Monster (no offense, Thrice-Baked!). I lived with my wife for a good year before marrying her, so I knew exactly what I was getting into. I'm now married... and still happy. I should envy you... why, again?

Answer 2

In a sense yes. But in another sense...no. First I will start out by saying that I am a christian. Second....how I came to be one is unique. I made ALOT of mistakes (still make some) and I did everything backwards....had kids, got married, then became a true christian. I met my husband when I was a month pregnant with my son...(we now have 2 children) He stayed with me through it all. He had a christian up bringing and I didn't. If I hadn't met him...I wouldn't have came to know God. We are now happily married and have 2 wonderful children. We love the Lord and are glad things happened the way they did because if they hadn't...we wouldn't be where we are at now. I was never jealous of people that waited...more or less wished I had. Plus I knew that God forgives all sins when we repent.....which I had repented plenty...still do obviously. But my husband and I have this awesome bond that we would have had no matter what. God has a bigger plan for us than anyone could imagine!!! Sometimes we go a different route to get to God.....alot of times we come to God the hard way. And when we are broken is when he can mold us the most into the people that he wants us to be. So i agree that people whould wait until they are married. But if it's too late for that...it doesn't mean your going to hell. And life isn't over.Just pray a sincere prayer for God's forgiveness and ask him to lead and guide you in all that you do, So I pray for all.

Answer 3

My sister waited for marriage.
11 YEARS after marrying she was still a virgin. She didn't know that her husband was unwilling to have sex AT ALL. She thought he was just being as christian as she was when he didn't try anything before marriage.
She stuck it out for a long time because she thought god hated divorce.
Its a pity, but no, I don't envy her choice.

She likes to criticize me for my life choices (I was very experimental) , but ultimately she is jealous of the fact that I have a family, and she waited so long (too long) to do the 'right thing' that she is now very much alone.


Honestly, this is true!!!!

Answer 4

My beloved husband Steadfast7 and I waited until we were married, my husband never touched me until our wedding night. we knew each other 4 years and out of that 4 years we were engaged 2. Yes it was hard to wait that long but we have a bond that is unbreakable and we will never be divorced.

We were advised to hold off on marrying until both of us got jobs and one of us got benefits. And we listened to counsel and as hard as it was to control ourselves by Gods grace we did and we are married 13 years now sex in the beginning was wonderful and we made up for lost time, but now that I am in my late 30s and my beloved is in his early to mid 40s our love has matured and gone to a deeper spiritual level.

Romance and sex are very overrated in our culture I am so thankful to God that we did wait because we don't have the baggage in our marriage that some have, any one can have sex before marriage it takes maturity and self control to wait on Gods timing and we have no regrets and we can pass our legacy to our nieces and nephews Psalm 100:1-5

This was an awesome question thank you for posting.

Answer 5

I think you may be right. The majority of marriages now a days come with alot of baggage as you said, in my opinion most couples now a days dont even take the vows of marriage seriously, the act like they are reciting what they want for dinner off of a menu.. I think people that wait til marriage for sex have longer lasting marriages. My parents did. This year my parents (if my dad were still living ) would be celebrating their 51st anniversary

Answer 6

Lou, I don't think they envy you. They don't understand the situation enough to envy you. What they very well might envy is the close relationship you wind up having with your wife and how long your marriage lasts. People who sleep around tend to treat their spouse as though the relationship is disposable, the same way they treat sex as something to be consumed like a steak at a restaurant. People who limit their sexual contacts have a stronger bond to their husband or wife than someone who slept around does.

Answer 7

I've never known any who did.

I have known of people who waited regretting that, as they wonder what sex is like with people other than their spouse.

With birth control, there's no reason for people to not have sex out of wedlock.

Might as well enjoy oneself, and find out what's what before committing to someone for life.

Especially when you consider how old people marry these days.

Answer 8

no my girlfriend though i don't like to call her that more my soul mate/life partner, where never married we have been together for 15 years (im now thirty so this all started while we where young but hey) and well we have 2 kids and as humans are not capable of asexual reproduction shouldn't take a genius to work ot how they got there! and we have and enjoy sex on a regular basiss, there is no big deal to it, in fact its pretty simple. getting maried isn't the only way to express love, and commitment, if the commitment is there there is no need for it.

Answer 9

How many times are you going to ask this same question? Do you want someone to be jealous? Do you feel the need to judge others by your set of beliefs? Isn't it really between them and God?

Answer 10

God is proud of that young person who saves themselves for that special one God has for them. I am so horrified at the society today. All the shacking up, living together, common law marriage (which is no marriage at all in the eyes of God - it's just plain old whoredom) and so forth. My pastor commented to me recently that in his day, the unsaved man was degraded, but today, the women are just as degraded as the men. I have to agree with that statement. Jelousy or no jealousy - one thing for certain - people that are having sex outside of the bonds of marriage are sinning and will go to hell for it, just as much as a liar will. Remember that scripture on the marriage bed being undefiled before God, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge? I particularly love that verse. The closeness you can have saving yourselves can speak for itself. My pastor preached on his late wife and how they kept themselves pure and clean before marriage. He mentioned how on their wedding night, they kneeled by the bed and prayed God's blessing on their marriage as they held hands. He mentioned how no one had ever touched his wife's breasts - no one but him had ever touched her and she could say the same for him. He was especially preaching to the young. My pastor is older, although he has the energy of a 16 year old and outruns us all - he's very annointed and he tells it like it is. Who cares if people think you or anyone who waits and is a virgin - is outdated and from and outdated era - GOD doesn't think so and I think God has been around for a lot longer than like, forever - and HIS opinion is the ONLY ONE that counts. The bible says, let God be true and every one else a liar. God's opinions and statutes are what counts. If you have waited and are waiting - then God is very pleased with that decision.

Blessings,
blessed2serve

church website: www.ernestangley.org