My 19yr old son lives w/ my ex, but has been staying w/ me because of escalated arguments w/ his dad. He's getting his own apt on Monday & his dad will not let him come get anything from his room!! Including his own clothes!! My son said he would bring a police escort or go when the dad is not home. His dad has taken his key & said he will not be able to get in the house when he is gone & the police can't do anything because they are not his things. We have called the police & they didn't really give a straight answer! Just like "surely he'll let you take your clothes?" is all they really said? His dad has threatened if he comes there will be a "fight!!!" So wondering, wouldn't the clothes & everything else be considered my sons, since they were "given" to him? Just trying to help my son get his stuff & get the heck outta there the calmest, best way possible!!?
2007-07-19 14:44:57 · 17 answers · asked by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well by law, things that are given to you are considered a 'gift'. Once given, the gift belongs to the recipient and not the giver. Therefore it follows that your ex shouldn't be able to keep his clothes since they belong to your son now. By the way, the ex sounds like a charmer. I'm sure you're glad to get rid of him.
2007-07-19 14:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by ((♫♥♪♫♥♪♫ Shivers ♫♥♪♫♥♪)) 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the clothes belong to him (your son). He can call the cops and tell them that his dad is keeping him from his belongings and request an escort to go retrieve his belongings. I know for a fact that the police don't want to get into a situation where the two of them are arguing over each piece and who it belongs to. I guess if that happens then the cops are just going to say...take basic articles of clothing and the rest will have to be decided by a court. Meaning, things like electronics, computers, other items other than clothing....if there's a petty argument over each item...the cops will not stand there and judge.
Really, unless there's something there that has more value than a some clothing, I would just leave it alone. Let your ex. sit there with a room full of belongings...maybe someday he will look at all that stuff and realize what he has really lost.
What a shame. I'm glad you were able to get away from this one....he's a piece of work eh?
2007-07-19 16:31:42 · answer #2 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From your point of view, the Dad sounds like a Dick. If your Ex lives in an apartment, your son can have the manager open the door to get his stuff.
But why go through the trouble. If it is just clothes, buy new ones. The police really can't do anything on a civil case matter, they are just there to keep the peace so no crime will occur. He is 19 years old, old enough to spread his wing and fly, leave the old crow.
Good luck, the Dad is a prick for doing that, what a pitty guy.
2007-07-19 14:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is so stupid and probably in line with the reasons you and he are ex-.
The kid was a minor when he got most of the stuff and when he reached adulthood his status changed. What his status is now probably will have to be determined by a court issuing an order to allow access and that may cost more than the clothes. If he still had a key, then he might have asked for police protection to go and get them, but not having that, the police are unlikely to go along with breaking and entering (another reason for having 2 or more keys to any place.)
2007-07-19 14:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by Mike1942f 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess it depends on why his dad is being this way. If the 19 year old did something really really bad and his dad is being this way with good reason, well then I guess 19 year old needs to understand. I mean it is just clothes but... at that age how do you get a 19 year old to listen or understand. He has to learn from his mistakes. If there is no reason for the dad to be this way and the 19 yr old is doing what most 19 yr olds and moving out of the house and starting out on his own. Then yes by almeans he should probably get everything in his room.
2007-07-20 08:29:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your son's belongings at his dads are considered personal property of your son's he needs to request a police escort to his dads house to retrieve his personal property and do not let his dad know when. Pick a time when he knows his dad will be home and do it the legal way. His dad can not hold his personal property!!!! The police escort will let him know that and will allow your son to enter the home and will stay with him while he gets his belongings. The father will not have a say about it.
2007-07-19 14:52:13 · answer #6 · answered by devilwoman1172 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When your son wants to get his clothes tell him to make sure his dad is home then go over there (make sure he has a cell phone). When he gets there don't go to the door, call the police and tell them there's a family dispute and he won't let him remove his clothes. When they get there he will be able to get his clothes and clothes only. Anything else he will have to fight in civil court for the police won't get involved in civil matters
2007-07-19 18:00:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, the clothes are your son's. Phone the police once more, ask if an officer can visit you to discuss this problem. Perhaps the police would be willing to visit your ex to talk. Might make him see the error of his ways. Your son might want to accompany them.
I don't recommend that your son goes back to his house alone--the clothing may not be worth the risk.
2007-07-19 14:55:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This appears to be an issue for civil court. I might send the father a letter asking that he return the son's clothing (which were actually gifts) or the next step would be court. Don't get hysterical or threatening. Don't write anything that you wouldn't want a judge to see. If he fails to return the clothing, follow through in court.
2007-07-19 14:51:09 · answer #9 · answered by AZ123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is just "stuff" if his father is going to be that much of a jerk, then just let the "stuff" go...it isn't worth the hassle. Sure, he can have a peace officer go with him to the house to get what he considers "his" things, but his father does not have to let him in, and the police officer can't force the father to let him in.
If your son was under 18, it would be a different story.
Why don't you reason with your ex on your son's behalf, you go over and get his things for him so there won't be a physical altercation.
2007-07-19 14:52:08 · answer #10 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋