I have been all to serious on this forum and read some angry (fear based emotion) answers. So I thought to lighten up the banter. So What is the funniest joke you ever heard? Try to think of one soooo good that I will be close to passing out from trying to catch my breath. Which has only happened to me 3 times in my life and I am only 38.
2007-07-19 13:24:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
a guy went to the store and asked for some polish sausage. the clerk says, "you must be from poland". "why do you say that?" the guy demanded. "if asked for brats, would you think i was german?" "no." "if i asked for italian sausage would you think i was italian?" "no" "then what makes you think im polish?" the clerk replies, "you are in a hardware store!"
2007-07-22 10:06:31 · answer #1 · answered by mike m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three men die and go to heaven. They work their way through processing ; jobs, housing, etc. Finally the come to the transportation angel. He has one question: "Have you ever cheated on your wife?"
The first man says, "No. Never once in fifty years of marriage did I so much as look at another woman." The angel gives him a solid-gold Lincoln convertible to drive around Heaven for eternity.
The second man admits that, sadly he had cheated once. He confessed, repented, and it never happened again. As his reward, he gets a silver-plated 1967 Plymouth to drive.
Then the third man has his turn. "Since I cannot lie here in Heaven, I must admit that I never turned down an opportunity to have sex. I cheated on my wife with all of her friends, both of her sisters, and even once with her mother." The angel gives him a rusty ten-speed bicycle to get around on.
He pedals off, thinking it could be worse- at least I'm in Heaven. Then he sees the first man parked on the side of the road crying. He pulls up and asks, "What's wrong, Buddy?"
His new friend answers, "I just passed my wife."
"Yeah. So?"
"She was on a skateboard."
2007-07-19 20:51:41 · answer #2 · answered by frightbooks 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three mice are sitting around sharing a piece of cheddar cheese.
The first mouse says, "guys, I got caught in a steel mouse trap and SNAP... BENT the steel bar right over my head."
Second mouse says, "that's nothing... last week I accidentally ate decon tablets and decided I liked it and had four more."
Third mouse doesn't pay any attention, stands up and says
"Sounds fascinating guys... but I gotta go."
The other mice look puzzled and ask, "WHERE do you have to go?"
"Home to F*%K the cat," he throws over his shoulder.
2007-07-19 20:54:14 · answer #3 · answered by Davis Wylde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a blond joke, I'm sorry to every blond out there. Ok,
"why did the blond have TGIF written on her shoes?"
To remind her that " toes go in first." I was tired when I heard this and still chuckle about it today.
2007-07-19 20:36:03 · answer #4 · answered by non o u biznis 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in dirt and cross back again?
Because he is a dirty double crosser
2007-07-19 20:43:58 · answer #5 · answered by wendy p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are the two biggest Polish lies?
The check is in your mouth and I won't come in the mail.
2007-07-19 20:43:35 · answer #6 · answered by del treenio 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what rocks the party that rocks the body
alcohol
its nota joke but...
2007-07-19 20:27:45 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Suzette ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What is the difference between a rooster and a wh**e?...
...a rooster says: "C*ck-A-Doodle-Do".....
...and a wh**e says: "Any-C*ck-Will-Do"!!!!!
:D :) :P :D :) :P :D :) :P :D :) :P :D :) :P
2007-07-19 20:46:13 · answer #8 · answered by Dani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋