Why do so many men refuse to pay Child Support for their kid?

Question

Instead they just leave and decline responsibility for their actions.

I don't want any dumb or sexist answers.

Answer 1

Many guys think that because a woman carries a baby, that makes it more 'hers' than 'his'...and more 'her responsibility'. Guys sometimes think too, that if a girl gets pregnant, it's her fault for not being on the pill or taking other precautions. They don't want to admit that it takes 2 to become pregnant, so it's BOTH partner's responsibility...even if the guy doesn't particularly care for condoms.

The poster above me doesn't have a clue how much money it takes to raise a child. SOME people do get too much in child support, but MOST women don't get nearly half of what it takes. I was awarded a big ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS a month for my son, and like many men...he couldn't manage that much.

Don't get me wrong. Some guys are GREAT about paying support, and some guys get genuinely screwed...but many (especially young fathers) want to pretend that the mother is out partying on their money...not considering that their little $50 a week doesn't even cover daycare.

Answer 2

SOME AND I DO STRESS SOME Men dont see it as supporting the child they see it as giving the woman they no longer love money. However its not only men that do this so do women. I know alot of worthless deadbeat moms as well. They think because they are female its not their job to pay support.

Its a 50/50 thing both parents should pay 50%

I know alot of dads that pay way more then they have too because they love their kids.


EDIT:

OMG the one below me has no comon sense.......... Its only punishing the child if they dont pay............

I think it should be a law that the child support money should be put on debt cards so the courts can see how the money is spent, I feel more would pay if they knew it was going for the child.

I do not think the parent should be paying, rent, car payments or extra bills like internet with the childs money. These are bills you would have to pay if you didnt have the child..... they need to work and pay those bills just like the other parents has too......

I can see how they dont see it as fair to make the dad pay a huge chunk of his check to the childs mother that he works so had for...........

and she sits at home and doesnt work and draws welfare she isnt paying her 50%. I can understand why the guy would not want to pay in that case. Bottom line its still the child that suffers.

Answer 3

I don't think a lot of men accept the fact that they are responsible for half the food, clothing, shelter, education, recreation, medical, and care of a child. My friend is a prosecuting attorney in child support and she has the stories but most of the time, the man will not part with the money. The dads don't feel a bond with the child, don't know how to parent, are mad at the mom, and accuse the mom of misuse of the support payment. Meanwhile the deadbeat is often $30,000 behind in payments. I work with special needs kids and it is sad to see the dads abandon the care and love for these kids. You can go by the dad's home and see suv, truck, boat, etc. with a new wife and set of kids. You can talk to the guy and he will say that he refuses to send even a $5 bill a month to an Autistic child who likes to hold a tennis ball for a hobby. That is just so sick but I see it all the time. Currently, I work with 3 kids of the same dad, and he is a business owner but just can't get the hang of paying those support payments regularly. He says he refuses to pay until he meets payroll, expenses, etc, then if there is money left he will send some to the state. It's a national disgrace that needs to be exposed like Chris Hansen does for To Catch a Predator. There needs to be a show called To Catch a Deadbeat featuring liquidation of assets and jail time. So many of these kids have state and federal assistance and tax payers should demand that the responsible party, dads, pay their fair share or sit in jail when they aren't at work.

Answer 4

From my experience with men who are like this, it is because they cannot stand the thought that the mother of their child(ren) is using the money on herself or to better herself. This happens a lot after a divorce, separation, or break-up when people are still feeling very mean and vindictive toward the other person and feel like it's salt in the wound to give the other person more money.

And some men do feel as though they were trapped, that they didn't actually want to become father's and were forced into it by the Woman. One way or reasserting control over their lives is to attempt to sever ties with her and the child and not pay any money for a decision that was not there's to make.

That is just from my experience. It's not that they want to decline the responsibility, it's usually more that they are feeling very negatively toward the mother and this ends up hurting the children more than anything. But people who are in pain or who are angry tend not to think clearly about that.
Peace,
Jenn

Answer 5

I beleive many dont have the proper education to understand what that responability is. Also as some poster have said they think that thier money is going to buy the kids stuff and going to support the mom.
My answer to the guys that think that then buy their fromula, diapers, baby foods, clothes, car seats, ect and see if 100.00 a month takes care of that.
Some just dont care or didnt have that father figure to teach them any better.
I beleive if more parents did 50/50 if at all possiable maybe men would stay in their kids life more becasue the "money" wouldn't be such a big issue.
Women do all the same things as men do when it comes to support any more.
As some one else said some men pay really good and get a bum rap due to other men .

Answer 6

people in life need to look around and just grow up and take care of what they helped make. I see my Daughter only 5 days a month to me that's not right the judge in my mind is sexist (I live in Utah) and I was also ordered to pay $975 a month just for child support do I think all the money I give her for my Daughter goes to my Daughter no I don't but she is my kid so I will pay it and I don't complain about it so i think who cares what you have to pay just support your kid or kids

Answer 7

Because D.S.S needs as many cases as it can get to maintain job security and if they made all the guys pay they would be out of some jobs.Also, law enforcement is busy looking for more dangerous people, and the prisons are overcrowded because prison and sentences for horrible crimes are a joke.
Next, women volunteer to take the risk of being put in this situation because they refuse to make the guy marry them BEFORE having sex.You can thank the parents for the way they raised these boys and girls.

Answer 8

You are right. Those men who do that are irresponsible. In all fairness there are some on both genders who are deadbeat parents. Any parent that refuses to take care of their children, are scum in my book. It is sad that in our world, any idiot can make children, but it takes a truly responsible person to take care of them. I know taking care of children, for some, is an inborn, no questions asked responsibility that they willingly take on, ( wish there were more), but the truth is, not all people have a paternal, or maternal instinct. They are so selfish that they will put themselves before anything. It is just sad that nine times out of 10, they are the ones who become parents.

Answer 9

OK, because they can. Lack of maturity, some are really deadbeat. some feel the mother is equally responsible.

But in my mind the No.1 reason: Mother and father cannot agree to any thing so the guy is kind of stuck in the middle between the courts and the mom and feels like he is being shafted.

Lets get real, some of these awards are way out of wack, even people in the system will tell you that.

The victim of course is the child, not only the child will lack in basics because of lack of support but more than likely will grow up without a dad. That is worse than no child support.

Answer 10

I'm a man, so this could never be biased or sexist; I come from a divorced family and my father only paid the bare min. I finally figured out that it wasn't to do with money, but how they felt about their children. I absolutely loathe my father, and he despises me - it's a give/take relationship really. When a "man" has a child, and doesn't want it, they make the quick escape. Simply enough, they aren't ready for any responsibility or commitment on any terms which is why they do that in the first place.