I'm in AZ and he is deployed. She is trying to get Grandparent's rights, based on the fact, that she doesn't like me. She has said she will do whatever it takes to split us up and take our son from the both of us. The women is psychotic, prank calling me, telling her own son who is deployed he is dead to her because he screwed up and married me! Now, the question... Who do i contact in the military to find some way to get to the location in which he is stationed before he comes back? I know he was supposed to take care of it. I just need to know how to get out of AZ and to AK so i can get away from this bs. Our marriage and family is being threatened and we want to be away from it all... Please help me. I am only 19 and am taking care of my son alone while my husband is away, as if that wasn't enough stress this woman is seriously trying to sabotage our family.
2007-07-19 12:55:12 · 18 answers · asked by Crystal R 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
she is a psycho
2007-07-19 17:31:43 · update #1
i do not live on the base, he is stationed at Fort Richardson, AK. And i am home in Arizona. I should've moved to AK when he was here, but when I was going to, I found out I was pregnant and he was already being deployed. So I stayed in AZ to have the baby because my family is here, and unfortunately his too!
2007-07-19 17:35:05 · update #2
You can contact your husband's first shirt and fill him in. He will be able to either help you or point you in the right direction.
Your mother-in-law has no rights to your child and would have to take you to court and prove child neglect or abuse. Start documenting everything she is doing or saying and then get a restraining order. You can get it done for free through the military or through your local courthouse with the family law facilitator.
2007-07-19 13:00:50 · answer #1 · answered by Keri 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You have a few ways to get help from the military sources. One would be through your husband's command. They should have someone like a Navy Ombudsman (sometimes also called a Key Volunteer) to guide you. Usually this is a spouse who volunteers to take be a go between for the command and the families. She can't fix the problem but has training so can guide you on who to talk to and what questions to ask. That person should be your first resource if you want to push through with the move to AK.
You can also go onto any military base in AZ no matter what the branch and use their family service centers and chaplains. Either one should be able to guide you to the resources you need to start moving or take legal steps to deal with his mom's harassment. I know the bases offer the services to members from other branches because we used the Air Force family service center when DH was a Navy Recruiter in Tucson, AZ. And don't shy away from the chaplains even if you feel this isn't a religious problem. They get extensive training in helping people deal with all sorts of situations and can often do a lot of good while maintaining confidential information that others might not.
You may also want to get in touch with the legal services at the closest base. If you MIL is really harassing you, document everything and bring it in to them. They can guide you in getting restraining orders and other legal avenues.
Asking here repeatedly isn't likely to get you the help you need from the people who can actually do something. Asking for help on base can and will.
2007-07-20 10:47:40 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all call the phone co. and report her as a harrassing caller, they will tap her phone and yours , as soon as she calls, they will record the call and you can then proscecute her if necessary. you can also block her line, so she can't call you. put a "no trespassing" sign in your front window if she shows up, call the police and have her arrested for trespassing. also ask the police what else you can do or what you're options are, they can advise you best.... now on the military side; i was in the marines and we had someone in our command called an "ombudsman" i don't know which branch your husband is in, but all branches have someone that is equal to this. their job is to assist military personnel and their spouses in all aspects of life while in the military. an emergency, moving, discharge, pay, transfers, base houseing etc,etc. my wifes X was navy and she suggested the same, an "ombudsman" helped her several times while her X was deployed. so if you still live close to the base your husband was deployed from or served at, go there and find the "ombudsman" office or it's equivilent. also she CAN'T take you're child away from you with out a very serious ,valid reason!!! as long as you are a good mother; your house is clean, food for the child, and she can't in any way prove you to be an "unfit mother" she can't do anything!!! contact the police and tell them whats going on they will tell you what YOU can do! remember you have to do something pretty bad for the court to take your children a way from you!! don't let her get to you, try laughing at her and hanging up , ignore her maybe she will go away!
2007-07-19 21:43:25 · answer #3 · answered by b.douglaswyatt 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you not able to contact your husband through email? Have you tried to contact his C.O.? I understand the stress that she may be causing you. But you shouldn't make any decisions without him. If it is that your family lives in AK then I believe it would be a good idea to go there. But when you marry someone, even if they are far away from you, desicisons should be made jointly. You share a child. Don't do anything until you have had the chance to talk or email your husband. Understand that even though you are home and having to deal with these problems, he is far away, and unable to do anything but serve his country. He wants nothing more than to be at home with you and dealing with these problems together. Don't forget that. Let him know how much he is needed. His commanding officer will help you with anything that you need. Trust me.
2007-07-19 20:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by summer 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't be mean to the grandmother. Support your husband in everything, let him have the final say in anything dealing with your mother-in-law. NEVER make it her or you. He will side with you every time, and when he doesn't, the worst you should say, ONCE, is "I thought you would be stronger than that" and save it for a bad situation, not to be used loosely. Then tell him, "however, I will support your decision," and DO!
If he is trapped, he'll look for ways out. If you support him, he'll feel strong enough to stand up to the person who is being unjust.
Ask him permission to change your phone number and make it unlisted. If he says no, agree, calmly.
Do the same with other issues.
Document EVERYTHING by date and hour in a log book for when it comes to court. Don't exaggerate. Have others listen in to conversations on the phone that are willing to testify. Taping the phone calls can be legal if you have witnesses willing to testify that this harassment is going on, and if you have tapes, her efforts are OVER!
It is illegal to tape without permission of the court in most states, so don't do it without checking into the legality.
Don't tell her anything. Act more like she is winning. Let her "upset" you. Do this after you get permission to tape.
DOCUMENT.
Good luck. My father did the same to my mother and step father.
2007-07-19 20:14:28 · answer #5 · answered by mckenziecalhoun 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi Crystal,
You can put a restraining order on her that will be enforced by the local police ( and the MP's if you live on base ). It sound's like she REALLY need help. If you belong to a church talk to the pastor or minister and tell him or her the difficulty you are having and see what they can do for you. Also the YMCA can helpyou.
You don't have to put up with that garbage and tell her she is effecting her relationship with you AND her grandson too. The biggest cause of divorce is a meddling mother-in-law. The help is there if you want it. Good Luck and God Bless!!!
2007-07-19 20:20:54 · answer #6 · answered by motorheadJJ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I assume she is seeking some sort of court forced visitation because you won't let her see the grand kids?
Anyway......if grandmammy is harassing you, you can have a lawyer get you a restraining order to keep her from contacting you or the kids. If she violated the order, she will have to explain it to the Judge.
Having said that, I don't know what the communications rules are for deployed service members, but sonny boy (your husband) should be standing tall and putting his mother in her place. This should not be your problem.
2007-07-19 20:07:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
First let me say good luck. Your mother-in-law sound's like a loving mother lol. My husband is in the navy and and me as a spouse have a ombudsmen which is a person I can call when ever I have a question if she don't know the answer she find it. We also have a fleet and family support unit which is every helpful too. Go to Military.com.
2007-07-19 20:11:47 · answer #8 · answered by angel 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Grandparents have no rights when it comes to your baby. My mother tried that, and the lawyer almost laughed in her face. She can't touch your child unless you are an unfit mother. The military won't move you. You have to do that yourself. Catch a bus and go to AK.
2007-07-19 19:59:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Crystal, I can sypathize with you but I sadly do not have the answer. I can only recommend that you contact the nearest base, which may be Ft Huachuca and ask Army Community Service or Family Services how to deal with it.
Thank you for supporting OUR soldier
2007-07-19 20:01:11 · answer #10 · answered by John T 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋