I am a 28 year old, single, straight male from New York. I have gone on maybe three dates in my entire life. I do not have much experience with relationships at all. I have not even had my first kiss yet. I am completely and totally ok with this. The problem is, other people in my life seem to have an issue with it. I simply have no interest or really the energy to pursue this stuff. I work 50+ hours a week and belong to 3 different volunteer organization (don't suggest I meet someone through the orgs. they are all groups that have an average age of 50). I don't want to get married or have kids. People say I am selfish and/or miserable simply because I am satisfied being single. I also live at home with my parents and other adult siblings (26 and 24) and have no reason to move out and my parents agree. I might as well stay until they are gone. Why do people have to say such mean things to me, even my friends, are they simply jealous of my freedom?
2007-07-19 12:19:16 · 18 answers · asked by X. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I like to sleep on Saturdays and Sundays until like 5 pm, a girl would probably want to be out all day. Weekends are for rest! LOL!
2007-07-19 12:21:17 · update #1
FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-19 12:21:38 · update #2
How about love and sexual satisfaction. Those are two things I get plenty of from my sexy boyfriend! In my opinion the people around you probably feel that you are deprived of love and passion for life. Everybody deserves to be loved so find somebody with your common interest because one day your parents and siblings will be gone.
P.S. Bravo to you for volunteering.
2007-07-19 12:24:08 · answer #1 · answered by kimberly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people see getting married as an official commitment sort of thing, while others simply get married because...well, mostly everyone will marry those who they believe are their soul mate. Others might have a problem with you because your parents will no doubt die before you will (unless you come down with an incurable disease or if you get killed in an accident of some sort), and your parents would most likely be more relieved to know that there is someone else to take care of you and stay by your side even when they're gone. When the time comes, you'll probably be interested in looking for a mate. As of now, I think you're fine just the way you are.
2007-07-19 19:28:32 · answer #2 · answered by Irene \m/. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're fine buddy!!! This is a free country and however you want to live your life, as long as you're not hurting other people, is your RIGHT!!! Go for it!
Marriage and relationships aren't meant for everyone. I too, enjoy being single, I can do what I want, spend money the way I want, travel, it is total freedom. Some people need to be in a relationship, but people like us are happier NOT being in a relationship. I always said that people would accept me better if I was a lesbian than just the fact that I don't want a man or a relationship in my life.
Now, I may change my mind someday, and I'm open to that if the right person comes along at the right time, but to be honest, I'm not looking and I"m perfectly happy the way things are.
Don't let people make you feel bad about this choice. It's your life - live it the way you want and the way that is best for you!!!
2007-07-19 19:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by asldfkjdfj 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i didn't have my first relationship until 21 and my first real one until 26. And i've been with him for a year and a half and we're in no hurry to marry,or anything. He has a child from a previous relationship that left him back living with his Mom and i still live with my parents and we're okay with that. Maybe someday when we're financially stable,or whatever, we might move in together, if not get married and have a family, but right now we're perfectly content just dating. And before he came along, i was perfectly content being single. I didn't even really think about marriage/kids until he happened to stumble into my life. So maybe you just didn't find the right one yet. Maybe someday you'll just accidentally come across this girl who changes everything you thought you wanted and maybe you'll realize you actually want to have a family. But until then, i think it's actually best to stay single, so just in case the right one ever comes along, your chance with her will be open and it'll mean a lot more.
2007-07-19 19:35:35 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Understood 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be perfectly honest with them and say you are completely satisfied the way things are. You don't pay what rent would cost on an apartment, don't have to make mortgage payments, and probably don't have to cook your own meals or do your own laundry. I know a guy like this who got his own apartment, but he still eats at least three meals a week with his parents and takes his laundry over. He's in his mid 50s. Tell your friends the truth: no woman could ever give you the attention that your parents do, and they don't want to meet anyone that could.
2007-07-19 19:38:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
With younger people, sometimes, the ideas of marriage and children are pushed too hard. In some cultures that is acceptable as in Turkey, that is the usual, to marry before twenty-one and it is arranged. But here, I would think that there is no need to worry about that until twenty-five. After that, it should be the purpose of a relationship. Why would anyone at thirty want to just date someone and not get anywhere with it?
2007-07-19 19:23:02 · answer #6 · answered by wife of Ali Pasha 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Welcome to the world of society pressure. You are what you want to be and I suggest you to ignore all these itsy bitsy talk around you.
I am 27, hardly been on a date, have a good job, love my life but as you mentioned people around me make it a point to bluntly refer to my "single selfish miserable lonely hackneyed" lifestyle. Ton of people have asked me if I'm gay too ....
Humans are social animals. And we want everyone to be conformed and "normal" and mark everyone else as "outkast". We are the same humans who poisoned Socrates because he was different and called the heliocentric theory as stupid and burned the Salem "witches" and argued that the earth was flat. Anyone who doesn't do the normal things at the normal age is termed a freak and frowned upon.
Don't give a hoot about those owls and have a good healthy happy life. Good luck.
-Aski
2007-07-19 19:26:44 · answer #7 · answered by Aski 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they are not use to knowing a single 28 yearold guy who doesnt have any experience. People are mean, hate people.
2007-07-19 19:24:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well...seems to me that u may need to branch off for a bit..take a little vacation. u don't want to look back on your life & say i've should of done this or i should have doen that. your not selfish u just prefere your life to be this way..ppl just don't see that & u don't have to make them see it..u can't be a ppl pleaser. lastly u never know what god has in store for u..so don't exactly take out marriage & kids out of the equation.
c/o 08
antâ¥
2007-07-19 19:25:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
people give you crap about it because it's out of the norm. most people are critical of things that are seen as "not normal". the majority of people want to get married and have children. so you are one of the ones that don't, who cares. i have a friend that is the same way and she loves her life.
2007-07-19 19:23:43 · answer #10 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋