im scared..could i be sociopath?

Question

im 30 years old and have endured alot of trauma, pain and victimization in my life. in the last couple of months ive been diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder, i have very low moods each day, emptiness and loneliness. ive never achieved or achieved anything with my life, no relashionships with anyone, never had a girlfriend..never worked or been employed..ive been bullied and victimized serverly in my life, assaults, head injuries..ive really had a bad time of everything. i get paranoid at times feeling my lifes being controlled and im being prevented from doing & achieving the things i want, like having a girlfriend and emigrating to better life away from the uk. but for along time now ive had a chronic rage problem...i used to have explosive outbursts out in public years ago..& have even knocked people over...over the years its inproved with me having better control without any therapy. however when im in a rage i feel so angry & have violent thoughts

i put it down to my really troubled past and all
the abuse and bullying ive suffered. and even
though i have better control now, and i control
my rage feeling everytime i have to go out...
they simmer just below the surface, and the rage
feeling work against me impairing my ability to
just get on with my life, my ability to function.
because im so angry..i have persecutory ideas to
as ive earlier mentioned. but when im in these rages
i get so angry with people and think such violent
things i worry,
could i be a sociopath?
i just want to get my life on track and achieve my
goals and happiness, and i find that when i no
someone i know whos genuine and they talk to
me about my problems, with genuine compassion,
these rage feelings diminish, and i turn into a feeling
compassionate person..im presently awaiting therapy.
im 30 now

Answer 1

I don't know what to suggest to help you. But I can tell you one thing.. you are not a sociopath. You're angry there's no doubt and it's not surprising given what you have had to put up with.

But 'sociopath' that is an extreme word. Have a look at wikipedia and you will see. It mentions words like 'manipulative' and 'lack of conscience'. That does not describe you.. it seems like you care and want to change + you care about the effects on other people. So you are not a sociopath. Definitely not.

Answer 2

You could have tendencies, but I don't think you'd get stuck with the label because you haven't done much wrong as of late. It sounds like you need an anger management course and you need to do therapy to help address the issues that have created the rage in you. Another way to do this is to borrow books from the local library on anger management.

I can understand the borderline label and you might want to read a book on that as well so that you can understand where you are coming from.

It looks like you have endured a lot and this has put you in a situation where you are just trying to survive and at this point you don't have the ability to go out and do the things others do such as working and dating. Maybe therapy will help with this.

You probably don't trust people which may be why you don't have relationships and why you feel empty and lonely. Group therapy is often less expensive and you might connect with some other people who have been victimized. You know there are lots of mental health groups on Yahoo that you might like to join. That might help you connect at a safe distance.

Males have a surge in hormones when they are young. A lot of hormones decline with age and men tend to mellow out a bit. That might explain your decrease in violence.

A lot of people have paranoia without having a basis for it. From what you've written, it looks like you have a basis for being suspicious of people's intentions. I think the way for you to keep this at bay is to hook up with others who have been victimized. You can learn to trust these people who are similar to you. I think some of your paranoia is due to your isolation as you don't have much experience with nice people.

Every day you need to look for signs that there are some nice people in the world even if you only see small niceties. If you are trying to cross the road, you will notice that some people drive right past you while others stop to let you cross. Try to take note of the nice people. There are web sites loaded with nice people. There are web sites that give awards to caring people. There are happy news web sites. You can visit www.kiva.org to see all of the people who are giving money to help third world people.

You are a very expressive person and very insightful so you will do well with therapy. You might want to keep a journal and write down your angry thoughts. That might provide some relief. What is great about you is that while others are not in control of their violence and act upon their anger, you have largely kept it under control.

Answer 3

I have the same violent thoughts and it's horrible. Im currently seeing a psychiatrist and i'm hoping i'll get the help i need. Like you i have also suffered alot of abuse in my life and i haven't had a relationship before, partly because i never go out much. I don't think you are a sociopath as this tends to be a more extreme illness, and you are able to control your feelings and thoughts to an extent, were as a sociopath tends to act on there thoughts. You've done great to control your thinking so far and untill you receive any treatment keep doing what your doing to control your thinking. All the best.

Answer 4

I don't think you're a sociopath. I think you sound lonely and troubled. Do you have any therapy at all? It might help, it helped me. I always thought I was mad, seriously, I believed I wasn't a normal person because when I used to get angry, I could physically 'feel' the RAGE in my stomach. I saw a psychologist for some time for a non-related matter and she told me that it's actually a perfectly normal way of dealing with anger and my sister then admitted she gets it too!!
Do you have family you could talk to?
Try and get some help, not being patronising, I think you'd be surprised at how much of what you feel is 'normal'!
Good luck and if any of what I've said has made sense and/or helped and you want to talk, email me xxx

Answer 5

Now listen to me /your not alone there are thousands of people suffering the same illness and it is an illness that only the psychiatrist can do anything about over a long period so get you GP to send you to the nervous diseases hospital and a feeling that someone has you in hand will stop you being scared and 2 years from now you could be seeing life in a different way Good Luck son

Answer 6

Based on DSM-IV (USA) criteria, the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder sounds more accurate.

I'm pretty sure they don't go by DSM-IV in the UK, so I realize the criteria may be slightly different.

Antisocial Personality DIsorder (or Sociopathy) is characterized by:
1. Lack of empathy for others.
2. Risky behavior
3. Impulsiveness and failure to plan ahead
4. Deceitfulness, lying.
5. Criminal behavior.
6. May have superficial charm and uses this to manipulate others.
7. Appears to believe the rules of acceptable behavior and laws do not apply to him (or her).

Men are more likely to have this condition than women, but there are female sociopaths.

Most career criminals have at least some of the criteria of soiopathy.

Answer 7

The fact that you are questioning whether or not you are a sociopath clearly indicates than you more than likely are not. Sounds like you have had a difficult hand dealt to you but it's time for you to stop being the victim and grab control of your life and fullfill your dreams. Try and think positive and talk with a counselor about the mood swings. you sound like a very intelligent person with a lot to offer. good luck to you!

Answer 8

You have suffered from considerable stress in you life this has caused hormone imbalance and now quite a few of your symptoms are on Miriam Brazel's list. This is the link to my web page regarding hormone tests and Miriam Brazel's page
http://uk.geocities.com/[e-mail]/willim_001.html#W_180
1 do an on line hormone test http://www.johnleemd.com/store/resource_hormonetest.html
2 do an appropriate saliva test and obtain results
3 get results & discuss with a NPIS doctor or educate your GP/MD
search the web for “natural progesterone rage” and you will come across pages such as this
http://www.ylcf.org/hormone-imbalance/20.htm or
http://www.longnaturalhealth.com/library2.asp?A=67
In fact, it is the most protective hormone the body produces, and the large amounts that are produced during pregnancy result from the developing baby’s need for protection from the stressful environment. Normally, the brain contains a very high concentration of progesterone, reflecting its protective function for that most important organ. The thymus gland, the key organ of our immune system, is also profoundly dependent on progesterone.
In experiments, progesterone was found to be the basic hormone of adaptation and of resistance to stress. The adrenal glands use it to produce their anti-stress hormones, and when there is enough progesterone, they don’t have to produce the potentially harmful cortisone. In a progesterone deficiency, we produce too much cortisone, and excessive cortisone causes osteoporosis, aging of the skin, damage to brain cells, and the accumulation of fat, especially on the back and abdomen.
# # #
Why am I pointing you to women's pages? Well we men only need half the amount of progesterone that women do but we still need it. There are more women aware of the value of natural progesterone in treating symptoms such as those you have.

I haven't answered the question regarding being a sociopath but I hope this becomes irrelevant when your symptoms have diminished. This won't be an instant process more likely to be 3- 4 months but you will have your hormone balance restored and you'll be healthier.

Answer 9

Isnt life just so unfair at times.. It can be tough and yet here you are explaining exactly what your problems are... now thats a person who is definately on their way to being in control... you have realised the problem and the cause .. you understand WHY you feel this way and you are controlling your feelings and your thoughts .. i think that you are a winner and you WILL come out of this feeling very proud of your self. Y ou are on the way to having a good life and i hope that you meet someone who can support you throughout and give you strength to continue this journey.. heer me now.. i give you all my thoughts and love and i hope you find some more strength in them .. god bless you my huny bun and good luck for a good life. xx

Answer 10

i don`t think you are a sociopath coz it just sounds as if you very lonely and your mind is a bit tired.i think you should go and see your doc and explain everything to him.and by the way,you should try and pray to god because you never know what he can do for you untill you try him.why don`t you look for a woman to stay and enjoy your life with,you can juss have fun the 2 of you without children unless if you want them.anyway good luck with your life .god bless.i don`t know much ,i`m only 14.