he 17yrs old almost 18 both parents at home i dont know if im just overly concern or what . he wants to be outside all the time he said he cant waite until he turns 18. it hard for me to let him go to the park back and forth becuse of crime gangs etc. our neighborhood is not all that great . hes not a gangmemeber i have an open mind to certain things i know he getting older and that what to do other things but what the limit i let his friends sit outside and eat pizza hangout i figure this is how i will find out what his friends are like. some have single parents or no mom at all or parents that just dont careis it a faze that he going through i dont know
2007-07-19 11:48:50 · 7 answers · asked by star 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My son is 19 and has gone through the same things. In their late teens they are proving their independence from us by fighting every rule we set but I was once told "if your teenager thinks you're over protective and you just don't understand, you are doing a good job". They need boundaries, even at 17. He will realize later on you did it for his own good and respect you for caring so much. Keep up the good work but keep respecting his space too.
2007-07-19 11:56:54 · answer #1 · answered by littleone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question was a little hard to read, but I think I understand what you are asking.
My parents where VERY strict with me. They were VERY protective as well. I did end up moving out at 20 and never went back. I would have moved out sooner, but I was too scared and I finally got the nerve. I was mad for a long time at my parents for sheltering me and not letting me spread my wings. The good thing - I didn't end up pregnant, on drugs, getting bad grades, or hanging out with the wrong croud. So I'm thankful to certain extent.
As a man (soon to be), he will not want to be held back anymore. You have had your chance to teach him about life, warn him of the dangers, and give him the tools to grow into the a man that will probably have a wife and kids someday.
Loosen the leash, it's too tight. Give him more freedoms and let him learn some of life's lessons that you can't always show or teach him.
I have two children of my own and I want to protect them as much as i can. But I know that there is a point where I'll have to let go, and I'll trust them to make the right decisions, because I took them down the right path and it will then become their choice to stay on that path.
I know it's hard, but you can do it. Talk to him and tell him that you trust him and please don't let you down.
2007-07-19 19:04:21 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is something more going on than your telling; however it is not a faze it is a sign that something is bothering him. You should start by evaluating your family system and how functional it really is, just because both parents are there does not mean everthing is good. I would suggest taking him to see a therapist, or someone he can speak to about what he is going through.
2007-07-19 19:00:20 · answer #3 · answered by CFF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this age keep to your standards as you have in the past. Have you taught him right from wrong he knows it in the back of his head. Right now it is easy to blame mom or dad if he can not go hang out with friends. Our son always said he could not wait to leave for college but he is home betwwen quarters, and week-ends. You are a shield when you say no they can blame you and not lose face with the friends/ cool kids.
2007-07-19 18:55:30 · answer #4 · answered by Goofey Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know it isn't a great area but, at his age, you can't hold on so tight. he needs some space. it's nice to want to get to know his buds. we all do. having them over for pizza now and then is a good thing but you have to let him do his own thing too. this is why he want's to be 18 so badly. he thinks at that age he can do what he wants and get away from you,and he can.
lighten up a bit mom. it's hard (been there) but he has learn how to be a man someday.
2007-07-19 19:06:18 · answer #5 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you need to let him go juussstt a little bit. He's 17 YEARS OLD. He's almost legal. Start letting go now so that it's not so hard on you later when you have no chioce BUT to do it.
2007-07-19 18:54:05 · answer #6 · answered by colorfulgarden 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i say cut the purse strings. sounds like you may be driving your son crazy. he is pretty much an adult and even though he needs some rules it sounds like you are treating him like he is 12. good luck.
2007-07-19 18:53:06 · answer #7 · answered by Supermommy!!! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋