You might be a redneck if...
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
You take a fishing pole to Sea World.
The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.
You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
Youve ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
Your toilet paper has page numbers
2007-07-19 11:40:24 · 4 answers · asked by cutest chick!!! 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
You think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
You don't think Jeff's jokes are funny.
Your house has a kickstand.
You drive around a parking lot for fun.
Your girlfriend has ever called YOUR parents "Ma and Pa".
You have to duct tape your gloves on.
You've ever pruned your trees with a shotgun.
Someone says they spotted Bigfoot and you go buy tickets to the tractor pull.
You think that Marlboro is a cologne.
Your most productive fishing lure is a Dupont drifter and a dip net.
City code enforcement officers use your property as a proving ground for new recruits.
You think Tang is in the fruit group.
You can hit a bullseye from up to 50 yards away, but still have trouble with your ABC's.
You've ever wrestled your mama for the last can of beer.
You surf the net primarily for tater gun building instructions.
Your car is the only one in a parking lot and you can't find it.
2007-07-19 11:41:30 · update #1
some of this apply to me....proudly owning that fact, too
2007-07-19 16:12:18 · answer #1 · answered by alliperson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is really nice. Even nicer when you hear a southern person saying them.
2007-07-19 11:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by swd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! 10!
2007-07-19 12:12:57 · answer #3 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA that was great..I love "your house has a kickstand" one XD
2007-07-19 11:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋