my cousin is very shy and quiet around strangers. she hates going out unless she absolutely has to. for example, she always turns down my invitation to go to the mall, store, park, etc. we are really close and i asked her why shes so introverted and she says its due to her appearance. She has a somewhat big red birthmark on the side of her face which she is very self conscious about , although she is pretty other wise. She is shy to the point where she refuses to answer the phone and she will go to extreme lengths to avoid being the center of attention ( ex. skipping school to avoid a speech). Her dad tries to force her to go out, for example forcing her to volunteer at a summer camp, but shes mortified about going. I'm worried about her, how can i help her? and getting professional help is out of the question since money is a problem, thanks in advance.
2007-07-19 11:35:53 · 6 answers · asked by ♥ 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It really does sound like your cousin needs some sort of professional counseling. I know two different beautiful girls who have birthmarks on their faces and they are both very well-liked and don't seem to struggle with the issues your cousin is experiencing. Perhaps there is some sort of low-cost counseling in your area that your cousin can use. You could also recommend for her to talk to a school counselor.
As far as making the birthmark less noticeable, as the previous answerer recommended, there are makeup products that can take the redness out. Since red+green=brown, there are some green-tinted makeup products that might work on it. But I'm pretty sure that just covering up the birthmark will not necessarily magically fix your cousin's shyness; it's probably caused by something else.
2007-07-19 11:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, in regards to the last post, it's not a good idea to self-diagnose. Firstly, you're not qualified to diagnose, secondly having a diagnosis may make her feel worse than she already does. If her shyness is impacting on her schooling, she needs to get some professional help, there are a lot of counselors that are cheap or charge fees based on your income, so she might be able to afford something - you should look into it.
Shyness isn't necessarily a bad thing. She might be feeling really self-conscious now, but will be fine when she's a bit older. Does she see that there's a problem or does she understand your concerns? Forcing her to do things is not going to help, she needs to want to do things. What are her interests/hobbies? Find something that she enjoys, and do that with her.
2007-07-19 13:53:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has a birthmark that she's self conscious about, try getting her a case of makeup to cover it up.
I would really consider counseling (at her school) She might have a self esteem issue. OR go to someone that makes her feel good about herself.
I think the best thing to do is let her practice being around people. Even if she refuses....But take things "slow." Let her go to a store with a few people. When she gets use to that, take her to a location with more people than before. And continue doing that until she's...well....somewhat use to it.
2007-07-19 13:24:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like either Body Dysmorphic Disorder or Social Anxiety Disorder. Suggest that she look into those two disorders. I'm sure she'll be comforted by the validation and your show of concern. If she doesn't have access to information print some pages out for her. From there, if she agrees these disorders are likely, obtain books on them that can offer some ways of coping with them until therapy can be arranged.
(In response to maryss: Always when I feel good about something it just happens to be crap. Thanks for making my day.)
2007-07-19 12:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has notihng to be shy about she has a mark on her face so........ does it matter like that one guy said buy her some make-up, i would normally have an answer to sometihng like this but if its her apperance and something she cant just fix i really dont know but make-up might cover it up find out if she has a crush on a guy or something and she what that guys thinks about her if its something good tell her but i'd recomed not if its bad that kinda obivous
2007-07-19 11:44:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her a set of makeup from bare minerals, it's supposed to be really great at covering up disgusting and atrocious and nasty and vomit-incuding hideous spots and blemishes on people.
2007-07-19 11:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋