My neighbor said this isn't right...what do you think?

Question

I have 3 daughters and 1 son. The triplets are all five years old, two of them are girls. My other daughter is 3. When they are bad or something, we spank them bare butt. (Just a swat...NOT child abuse.) My neighbor said it was wrong for my husband to spank my daughters bare butt and it was wrong for my to spank my son bare butt. I mean, come on! They are still very little! She said it was also wrong for Blaze (my husband) to help me potty train Layla. (My 3 year old daughter.) What is your opinion on this? I think what she is saying is just plain stupid. I also think she is trying to tell me that I am a bad parent just because I am young. (I am 20.) What is your opinion on this?

I was spanked as a child like that until I was 10, and I turned out to be a pretty well-rounded kid. So I don't see it as cihld abuse or "humiliation". No, we do NOT spank them like this in public. Just at our own home, if that is what you all are thinking or whatever.

My neighbor is like, 35, and we do NOT get along at all...

We used to talk to each other about our kids and stuff, so that is how she knows about it. Then all of a sudden she stuck her nose up at us and stuff. We do not make it very public, though. Not at all.

Answer 1

NO, NO, NO Your neighbor is a lunatic. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Your talking about a spanking, not a perverted event, like some nut jobs seem to think. Since you and your husband agree with spanking, and how to do them, it's something that BOTH you and your husband need to be following through on.

FYI, I am a firm believer in spanking, and we ONLY do them on the bare bottom, yes that's right my husband does them too. We only have girls, and my oldest is 10. My husband wouldn't hesitate to put her over his lap, if that's what she needs. We work together as a team, it's OUR girls, not just mine, he's their father, and has just as much on the line with them as I do. Thank about it, are you prepared to cripple your husband's authority with his little girls? That in it's self would have a devastating effect on their lives. Your right to question her, and I'd personally stay away from her. Your on the right path.

Your neighbor should be evidence to you that older doesn't always mean wiser.

Good Luck & your not alone

Answer 2

I agree that the neighbor needs to mind her business. WE have way to many outright crazy kids on our hands today because someone thinks spanking is child abuse. There is a difference. Father's are responabile for raising their kids too,so if this means spanking their bare bottoms and helping with potty training then that is what happens.
So is the kid not suppose to go potty because mom need to go to the store and dad is there.
Some people are insane today, and I completely understand the feeling of being young and people not believing you can be a good parent. When I was younger I found doctors didn't listen to my concerns with my child so every thing had to be a fight to get them to do anything.
I was spanked as a child and I as well turned out to be a law abiding citizen.
Tell your neighbor to let you run your household and she can run hers anyway she wants too.

Answer 3

Well although I do not agree with spanking bare butt, you were raised like this and thats how you raise your children... I have a 4 year old son and obviously being a mother was hands on with potty training, disciplining or whatever... so according to your neighbor then hugging and kissing your children should be wrong to. Tell her to shove it. If your husband is helping potty train, and actually partakes in the child raising, then your lucky... Just because he is a man, and there have been men before who have been single parents who have raised daughters on their own, not everyone is a sicko and its non of her business. Your children are not in danger, and having 4 kids, is quite a feat in itself. You have 4 kids, and one on the way and your 20? You had triplets when you were 15? Idk, that part sounds wierd, but still if your a parent, trying to raise your children well, as long as you both partake, and things arent obviously going over-board, tell her to get her head out of the gutter.

Answer 4

If your neighbor is aware of your discipline and potty-training methods, they are either way too nosy or you have been been carrying on these activities in a very public way. She probably assumes that since you had children VERY young (triplets at 15? Bless you!) you have poor judgment and so she feels it's her right to set you straight.

I think that if your husband is getting sexual pleasure out of spanking your daughters' butts, it's not appropriate. Same thing with you spanking the boy. Otherwise, it's just punishment. On the potty training, if your husband didn't help then who would do it while you were gone?

Time to set some boundaries with your neighbor!

Answer 5

I am not against swatting behinds at all. Sure time outs are effective, however, no one ever thought of those back when our parents were little, a swat once in awhile will not hurt, it may hurt their feelings more than it will hurt them physcally. Also, there is nothing wrong w/your husband teaching your daughter to be potty trained. It's a great help to you I am sure. My husband, before we even knew eachother, had a gf that had a daughter-not his- & potty trained her, heck, he took care of that little girl til she was 5, & that includes changing diapers as well. I would not worry about what your neighbor thinks at all, others opinions are just that, other opinions, everyone raises kids differently, but as far as I can see, you are doing just fine. =) Take Care & I hope this helps.

Answer 6

Although my parents didn't spank me bare butt, it still hurt enough that I didn't want another.To children 3 and up bare butt is humiliating on top of the pain of the spanking, but whatever works for you.It is no worse for hubby to help potty train your daughters than for you to help potty train your son.Tell your neighbor if she doesn't quit bugging you, you might just spank her bare bottom.

Answer 7

Hi!
You know, I was dead set against spanking my 3yr old up until the last few weeks......she is soooo deviant, stubborn, and she also likes to tell me and my fiance that WE are going in the time out.....I guess Ive changed my opinion a bit on spanking, because constant time-outs and sole "positive reinforcement" just aint gettin' the results that are needed! Ive started to poch, if you will, Kylea(my daughter)on her but if I see or feel that she has really crossed the line. However, I do feel that I will still remain set in trying my best to discipline in other ways before I resort to it getting physical....

I guess what is best for your children, is dire consistency in that whatever techniques you and Blaze choose to use. And that plans are discussed between the two of you, and no one else.... I praise you for taking taking such top priority in your family, and I bet its been hard raising 4 kids at 20! How do you collect your serenity? lol........

Dont worry, your a great mommy, im sure!

Answer 8

I agree with you most older women tend to think that we younger women are not good parents. Back when they were new parents their husbands never helped raise the kids and I think it is jelousy really. As far as you spanking your kids on their bare butts I say that it is fine. When my mother wants to let my 4 year old sister know she is really in trouble she tells her that she is gonna take her to the bathroom pull her pants down and spank her. She used to actually have to do it but it is getting to were now all she has to do is warn her ever so often. So I think you are doing a great job, tell your nosey neighbor to mind her own business.

Answer 9

Why did you tell your neighbor, that you don't get along with, the way you discipline your children?

I don't think pulling down the pants is necessary. We were all spanked growing up but not with our pants down - I don't see the point really... Also, we were always told to go wait in mom's room before we would get spanked. I would suggest this so that you aren't spanking out of anger but only as discipline so your child can grow as a person. My mom always read the Bible with us afterward so that we knew why she was doing it - not because she was mad but so when we were older we wouldn't depart from wisdom.

Don't talk to your neighbor anymore - its not a requirement. She has no place in your life obviously because you two don't get along - so cut her out of it =] problem solved.

Answer 10

Hey, your kids did something that you do not want them to do again so you address it immediately. If it takes a spanking to get your point across then so be it! I see many kids these days who aren't disciplined and they are BRATS!~

Next time, do not let your neighbor get involved in your personal life.

Why can't your husband potty train your daughter? That's ridiculous. What does your neighbor think single/widowed fathers of little girls do? Send them to grandma's house? Geez!

How old is your neighbor? I am assuming that your neighbor is female because women always want to offer their opinions more than men.

Good Luck!