My daughter wants me to take over care of her child?

Question

Since the birth of my grand-daughter, my daughter has probably held her maybe 10 times. My grand-daughter is now 4 years old. My grand-daughter at one point in her short little life managed to get her hands on a handgun left lying on a table in my daughters house, discharge the gun and nearly hit a women. Social services told my daughter not to let it happen again. Recently, my daughter called to ask if I would take my grand daughter in and raise her. The baby has never bonded and acts out, using words like the "c" word, the "f" word and verious other colorful words. She punches and kicks anyone close to her and I just don't know what to do. Please help me. I worry so much for her

Answer 1

i think you have to take her in but you need to make sure that you get full custody. i see a possible problem in that if you do all the work to get grandaughter better then your daughter might want her back. that would cause all the work you have done to be lost and then she would again be without someone to be bonded to. i lived with my grandparents alot as a kid cause mom wasn't very stable. i have wished that grandma would have kept me all the time. looking back she could have given me so much more stability and i may have been able to avoid so many of the problems i have now.

Answer 2

You have to really sit down and think this over very carefully .A lot depends on your health , are you able to commit to this for many , many years taxing your finances and your nerves . Will your daughter support the child faithfully and will she take steps never , ever to have any more little additions to pop up into your life !
The child needs a different environment if she is going to turn into a productive adult someday .
Do you have other grandchildren and/or does the daughter have more kids . All that plays a role in the decision . Do you still go to work every day .
How about if you DO take over and in a few years she wants her back and all your hard work is for naught .
So you see, strangers can hardly give advice and only say let your head and your heart decide .
God Bless .

Answer 3

taking the little one and raising her w/o her mother may not be the best thing. they need to have a relationship. her(grand daughter) acting out is probably due to the fact that she hasn't had the bond with her mom that she desparately needs. it comes naturally to most but apparently they need to be taught how to be mom and daughter. would your daughter agree to parenting classes and therapy? that would be the first route i'd take but, if she isn't willing, the child either goes with you or foster care. if you take her, you need to have it put on paper so that you can legally have a say in what happens and you can at least get the child a good pediatric therapist to see her through this. i hope all works out for you and your family. god bless.

Answer 4

That is a tough choice to make. Are you ready to handle the responsibility of being a mom again? Do You have options to let another family member take her? If you no one in your family is able to properly raise this child, the best option for her to go to a loving foster home. This poor child has been neglected for so long, and if she doesn't get the proper care and love now, she will grow up adapting to this rough life style. I hope she hasn't been involved in any kind abuse while under the care of these people. I also suggets you require full custody or adoption of the baby, once you get attached to her-the mother might come back to take her. And just think of the confusion it will do to the baby. Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like your daughter is in need of some serious help (aren't we all?). In our traditional way it is normal for the grandparents to take the grandchildren and raise them as their own. This baby is in need of some guidance and love and understanding. If you care about your grand-child, you should take her and give her the attention that she so desperately needs right now. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 6

take in your grand daughter if it is at all possible for you.
do it through legal channels call family support unit through the DA office for advice on how to do it and you will get financial help
this child needs eval. she has been around such language and behavior that she copies and its not good for her.
I wouldnt want to be around your g.daughter or have her around my kids cause she is corrupt
not her fault but she is
if you dont take her then your daughter will give her to somebody else anybody else
or foster care, I dont want that for her poor her not even a chance so far in life.
get emotional support for your self too. good luck

Answer 7

Some women just don't have it in them to be moms. If you are capable of raising your granddaughter then you should. She is obviously starved for positive attention and love. If you can't and she has to be in a foster home, then so be it. At least she will have a chance to be adopted into a loving family. Or, if you live in Miami, send her to me. I'll take her :-|

Answer 8

You either accept responsibility for her, or put her in a foster home. Either way you all need counseling. Plus, you need a lawyer to make it all legal and make your daughter pay you child support as well as the baby's father.

Answer 9

I suppose the law will intervene sooner or later. If you care and want the child, then take action and make it legal -- so as not to lose the child and not have any monetary support. If not, direct her to foster or adoption services.

Answer 10

if you taking care of that child is the best thing, then do it. do it for the safety of that child, if that child keeps acting up this way, who knows how she might end up. help her. if your daughter is asking you, it's maybe bcuz she knows she can't teach her good morals and she knows you can raise her correctly. go on and do it.