I'm in the Air Force, stationed in Germany, and I met this wonderful guy Ben. He's everything I ever wanted in a guy, and I have fallen deeply in love with him. I told him about it, and he replied with, "I can't love you. I'm not looking for love here." Both of us recently got out of bad relationships, but I'm ready to move on and really get on the move with this cat. Our relationship seemed good enough to me and I thought that we were getting really close, but he says that he still only considers me a buddy. He told me that relationships take time, and I know they do, and I'm willing to wait for it, but I don't know if he'll ever be ready to have a relationship with me, Yes, there's more than kissing involved, but I'm getting tired of the feeling that I'm being used. I love and I care about him, and he told me that he cares about me too...I just can't seem to be able to accept the fact that I won't find true love here. Help me!! I am truely heartbroken. :(
2007-07-19 09:09:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's using u for the sex, thats what I would do.
2007-07-19 09:20:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take a good long look at where you are right now in your life. You have just come out of a bad relationship. You are in a foreign country, away from your support group and therefore lonely. The best thing you can do for YOU right now is to ease off on the love thing and give yourself time to be 'you on your own'. It is not such a scary thing and always makes one stronger.
By the way. If you feel like you are being used, you are being used.
True love takes time. Give yourself some.
2007-07-19 16:25:21 · answer #2 · answered by Daniel S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're isolated and lonely. Don't forget those factors when you think you are in love. If it were meant to be it will be. And if you guys have done "more than kissing" as you stated, that may be another factor. Don't be so quick to have sex. If a man really loves you, he would wait until the end of time until you are ready - so you should make him wait. When you are quick to give up your body, they get the notion that they can't trust you. And whether they want a relationship or not at the time, they already believe that you are easy and may be that way with other men.
2007-07-19 16:15:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line, you gotta love you.
I suggest trying to move on because he isn't giving you what you need, but you are giving what he wants.
It's like the old "if you love someone, let them go...if they come back blah, blah, blah".
Find someone who loves you and much as you love them...you are like a filet mignon, not yesterdays leftovers.
p.s. Also, make sure that you really do love this guy...when I went to AIT (Army school), everyone was hooking up and getting married...I always thought it was because they were afraid of being alone. Then, when people got to their posts, I was stationed near Hanau, Germany just north of Frankfurt...and everyone was looking for relationships. I think that the military life is so transient, moving every 4 years or so, and now with the military deployments to the war zones, everyone is craving some sort of stability...
...just make sure that you are making the right decision for the right reasons.
2007-07-19 16:19:04 · answer #4 · answered by hunnygril 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move on...you need someone who is going to reciprocate the same feelings/emotions you are giving him. It does hurt...I know this....but you are looking for something that he is not ready to give an may never will be.... You can still be friends with him, but right now, it's tough. Once you get in a relationship with someone else, you will be able to be friends with him again. Good luck!
2007-07-19 16:43:23 · answer #5 · answered by cubaniita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect his feelings and if it is that hard on you, then for God sakes quit doing what you're doing if sex is involved. That will only make it harder. I've been there and it is an extremely difficult situation to be in. But the sooner you accept it the easier it will be. Good luck!
2007-07-19 16:16:40 · answer #6 · answered by mommyX's3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling--I am stationed in Bamberg, Germany myself in the Army (currently deployed in Afghanistan) and my girlfriend broke up with me because I was being deployed and I wasn't going to marry her after knowing her for only 4 months, makes me feel like being in the military in this day and age is just doomed for us single folks...
2007-07-19 16:18:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone love you. If you feel like he is using you, then don't waste your time on him. You will find someone who will love you for more than what he can get out of you. He sounds like he's making up excuses, and that isn't fair to you at all.
2007-07-19 16:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by KC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop thinking about this guy and try to get another one.This guys is not the last one in this world,so don't waste your time and energies with someone who is not a real player in your game.Get rid of him in the flesh and in your mind.Just do it.
2007-07-19 16:26:22 · answer #9 · answered by Mario Vinny D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ouch!
that hurts. you need to move on. if he doesn't' love you now he just using you till he finds someone else.
sorry honey. been there, done that, and I have been on his side. I didn't love the other person as much as he loved me. I just kept hurting him.
he kept telling me so.
finally i had to let him go.
it hurt me.
he should let you go too. if he really cares about you.
let you go so you can full-fill your needs and wants that need to be met.
2007-07-19 16:13:12 · answer #10 · answered by Georgia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get in your F-16 and give the guy a ride.
2007-07-19 16:13:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋